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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Extra Small Minded

    | Calgary, AB, Canada | Bigotry, Extra Stupid

    (I work for a very well-known clothing store that caters to plus sized women. The smallest size is 14W. A very skinny woman walks into the store.)

    Me: “Hi, there! How can I help you today? Are you shopping for a gift?”

    Customer: “No. I am shopping for myself today.”

    Me: “Alright. Just so you know, we are a size 14+ store. We do have some nice accessories. May I help you find anything?”

    Customer: “No. I just want to look around.”

    (The customer wanders off. I start puttering around, cleaning some things, as we are slow. A few minutes later I notice her holding a top and wandering around looking a bit confused.)

    Me: “Hey. Is there anything I can help you find?”

    Customer: “Where are your smaller sizes?”

    Me: “I’m sorry. As I mentioned earlier the smallest size we carry is 14 wide, or extra large.”

    Customer: “But where are the SMALLER sizes?”

    Me: “Again, I’m sorry. We do not carry small sizes.”

    Customer: “Yes, yes. But where do you keep the smaller sizes?”

    Me: “Miss, I’m sorry. I don’t know how else to explain this to you. [Store] is plus-sized retail chain. We make clothes for women who look like me.”

    (I gesture to my size 24 figure. All of a sudden a look of realization comes into the woman’s eyes. She looks around as if seeing the other employees, customers, and myself for the first time.)

    Customer: “Wait. This is a store for FATTIES?”

    (The customer drops the shirt she’d been holding as if it’s going to burn her and storms out. I just stand there, totally stunned. A few customers shoot the skinny woman dirty looks.)

    Outdated And Outsmarted

    | Kent, England, UK | Extra Stupid, Holidays, Themed Giveaway

    (I’m doing a bit of Christmas shopping. I stop at a calendar stand in the middle of the shopping center, and start looking through the stock. I think nothing of two customers appearing next to me until they start talking.)

    Customer #1: “Are these calendars for next year?”

    Customer #2: “I don’t know. Check the date.”

    Customer #1: “I can’t see it.”

    Me: “Are you serious?”

    Customer #1: “Excuse me?”

    Me: “It’s the middle of December. The last month of the year. Why would anybody need to buy a calendar for this year?”

    Customer #2: “You can’t talk to my daughter like that! She’s not stupid!”

    Me: “With all due respect, I’m not the one questioning if calendars being sold in December are for next year.”

    Wait Until She Hears The Truth About Santa

    | MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Holidays, Themed Giveaway

    (A customer walks into the store, explaining ‘Elf on the Shelf’ to her sister. It is a toy resembling one of Santa’s elves, who sits on a shelf in a child’s room.)

    Customer: “You tell the kids he’s watching them. At night, he flies back to the North Pole to tell Santa if they’re being good. Then you put him someplace else, like he moved while they were sleeping.”

    (The customer sees that we have the plush stuffed elf.)

    Customer: “This is the one they can take to bed. You can’t touch the other one or he loses his magic and can’t fly to the North Pole anymore.”

    Customer’s Sister: “How can you move him around if you can’t touch him?”

    Customer: “…he’s not really magic.”

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 26

    | Belgium | Extra Stupid, Money

    (I work a summer job in a bank. An angry customer storms in and slams a card on the counter.)

    Customer: “I tried to get money out of the cash machine but it won’t give me anything!”

    Me: “Well, sir. It seems—”

    Customer: “I’m not poor! There’s money in my account! You can check it!”

    Me: “Well, sir—”

    Customer: “I just want my d*** money! Give it to me!”

    Me: “Sir… That’s a library card.”

    Related:
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 25
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 24
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 23
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 22
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 21
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 20
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 19
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 18
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 17
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 16
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 15
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 14
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 13
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 12

    A Bona-Fido Idiot

    | UK | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

    (I work for an animal charity. I am out in the local community promoting responsible dog ownership.)

    Me: “So is your dog neutered then?”

    Customer: “Sorry?”

    Me: “Sorry, madam. Is your dog neutered?”

    (The customer stares blankly.)

    Colleague: “Madam, has your dog been castrated?”

    (The customer continues to stare blankly.)

    Me: “Has he been ‘done’?”

    Customer: “Oh, yeah. He did have an operation on his ears a few weeks ago…”


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