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  • Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 31

    | Lewiston, ME, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

    (Working at a telesales company, I sold credit cards to people who wanted them.)

    Me: “So, I need your total annual income. What is it?”

    Customer: “$1200.”

    Me: “That’s… $1200 annually?”

    Customer: “Yup!”

    Me: “And…. now I need to know how much you pay for rent or mortgage each month.”

    Customer: “$500 a month.”

    (We go through the rest of the call rather well. At the end of the application we can usually see if they are approved or not. In this case they were not approved, so this is the rest of the conversation.)

    Me: “I’m sorry but you weren’t approved.”

    Customer: “What?! Why?”

    Me: “Well… it’s probably because you pay more in rent or mortgage in three months than you make in a year.”

    Customer: “No, I don’t! I make $1200 each month!”

    Me: “Oh! So you meant that $1200 was MONTHLY and not ANNUALLY?”

    Customer: “What does annually mean?”

    Me: “It means yearly. How much you make a year.”

    (The customer hung up. They were too stupid to be trusted with a credit card anyway.)

    Related:
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 30
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 29
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 28

    The Power Of One

    | Boston, MA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

    (I work as front of house staff at a theater with multiple performance spaces. On this night we have three sold out shows in our building and an incredibly high volume of patrons in line for the box office and in line to get their tickets scanned. I am the only person scanning tickets at this point and I have developed a cluster of patrons around me, plus many more behind them. I realize that to proceed efficiently, I need more organization. I address my patron cluster:)

    Me: “It will really help me out if everyone can form one line please!”

    Woman In The Cluster: *as though this never would have occurred to her* “OH! Because you’re only one person!”

    Me: “…exactly.”

    Unable To Make Contact

    | MD, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, School, Technology

    (I work in the IT Help Desk of a university.)

    Caller: “I’m calling about the homepage for the university.”

    Me: “Okay…”

    Caller: “It’s terrible! I can’t see any contact information on the page at all!”

    Me: “Is it [website URL]?”

    Caller: “I don’t know! I’m not on that site now!”

    Me: “Okay, can you tell me the URL to the site you’re having this issue with?”

    Caller: “No! Your homepage doesn’t have any contact information! It’s terrible!”

    Me: “Well, I’m on the [website URL], which is what our homepage is, and there is contact information at the bottom of the page.”

    Caller: “That’s not good enough! You don’t have contact information on the page!”

    Me: “Yes, we do. It’s at the bottom of the page.”

    Caller: “Well, I’m a Harvard graduate and as an educated person, I didn’t think to look down there, so obviously the page is terrible.”

    Me: “Okay, well, at the bottom of the page-”

    Caller: “You’re telling me there’s the information there but I didn’t see it?!”

    Me: “What I’m trying to say is that it has a place to comment on the page. If you click-”

    Caller: “I’m telling you about this!”

    Me: “Okay, but I don’t run the website. So, if you click-”

    Caller: “This is a business call! I will never call again! I’m just trying to tell you the website sucks!”

    Me: “Well, thanks for letting us know. Have a great day.”

    Tried Explaining Until The Cows Came Home

    | Santa Monica, CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

    Customer: “What type of leather is this bag made from?”

    Coworker: “It’s made of cow.”

    Customer: “What’s a cow?”

    (My coworker tries to hide his general shock at this question.)

    Coworker: “You know the black and white spotted animal? It lives on a farm?”

    Customer: *shakes her head* “I don’t know.”

    Coworker: “Where do we get our milk from?”

    Customer: *shakes her head again* “I don’t know.”

    (My coworker stopped short of actually mooing like a cow and that whole exchange

    Blood Type Z-Negative

    | Orange County, CA, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

    (We carry liquid candy blood packs at our novelty shop. One looks like a regular blood IV bag and the other is green and is called ‘zombie blood.’ A customer comes up to the counter with a worried look and points to the zombie blood.)

    Customer: “Is this REAL?”

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