November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Needs To See The Doctor For Their Stupidity

, | USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Health & Body

(I work in a call center that mainly serves as an after-hours line for local hospitals and clinics. Routine questions revealed this particular caller to be a pregnant teenager and someone who speaks English as a first language.)

Me: “Good evening. How may I help you?”

Patient: *using the most arrogant and condescending tone imaginable* “I need to speak to a doctor, right now!”

Me: “Miss, are you currently experiencing an emergency? Bleeding, difficulty breathing—”

Patient: “No, no, but this is really important!”

Me: “Would you like me to take a message?”

Patient: “NO! I said I need to talk to a DOCTOR, NOW!”

(The doctor’s line is reserved for emergencies only. Nonetheless, I continue politely.)

Me: “What seems to be the nature of the problem, miss?”

Patient: “The doctor gave me these prenatal vitamins, and I need them to tell me how much I should take!”

Me: “…You mean the dosage instructions printed on the side of the bottle?”

Can’t Re-Coup The Plastic

| NY, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

(It is nearing the end of my shift and so far everybody has been wonderful. A customer comes up to my till, wanting to do multiple transactions. She believes this will get her the best deal with coupons, even though it makes no difference.)

Me: “I can ring it up all together; it would be easier and faster.”

Customer: *in a snippy tone* “No! Separate! But you can bag it together.”

(Not wanting to cause an argument I say nothing else and start ringing her items up, I move to put the first three items into the same bag. It’s a bit snug but still very easy to carry and not at all heavy. But the customer decides to snap at me.)

Customer: “Would you want your items to be bagged like this?”

Me: “Yes, I would. I believe in saving plastic.”

Customer: “I don’t care about saving plastic. Just put it into separate bags.”

(I do so and continue on with her multiple transactions in silence as I’m a bit upset by her rudeness at this point. I finish up and realize that she did not get the best deal that she could have, so trying to be nice I tell her this.)

Me: “Just to let you know, if you have three items and they add up to $45 you could use three $5 off coupons instead of three 20% off coupons…”

Customer: *still incredibly rude* “Do you think I can’t count? I know how to do this. I know what works best.”

($5 off $15 is 33% and 20% of anything is only 20%, it appears as if she cannot count.)


| Sweden | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Funny Names

Me: “Nina! Here’s your tall hot chocolate!”

(The customer takes it, walks away, and comes back.)

Customer: “What was the name?”

Me: “Nina.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s not me.”

Me: *looking at the line of drinks and not seeing any other hot chocolates waiting to be made* “…and you’re waiting for a hot chocolate?”

Customer: “No, a strawberries and cream Frappuccino.”

Me: “…”

Driving Directionless

| CT, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Transportation

(We have tricky pumps and constantly explain to people how to use them…)

Customer: “The f****** pumps are not working!”

Me: “You have to push in the nozzle all the way.”

Customer: “I f****** did that. Can’t you just come and f****** help me?”

Me: “I’m busy right now; I’ll be outside in two minutes.”

(I wait two minutes and go outside and try pushing the nozzle all the way in and it doesn’t work… so I read the display screen.)

Me: “Sir, it says you need to lower the lever.”

Customer: “Well, at every other gas station you lift it up!”

Me: *slams down lever* “Well, at this gas station we follow directions.”

Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 10

| USA | Extra Stupid, Liars & Scammers

(I work in a small-to-medium size restaurant, where the owner is usually in and works alongside us. He and I are standing by the counter when the phone rings and I’m close enough to overhear the call:)

Owner: “Hello, this is [Restaurant]. How can I-”

Caller: “This is an OUTRAGE!!”

Owner: “What seems to be the problem, ma’am?”

Caller: “You got my food order all wrong! I demand to speak with the manager!”

Owner: “I happen to be the owner, ma’am.”

Caller: “…”

Owner: “Ma’am?”

Caller: “Oh. I, uh… I didn’t know the owner would actually be in.”

Owner: “Well, yes, I happen to be in today so—”

Caller: “No, I mean… I never actually ordered anything.”

Owner: *confused* “I don’t—”

Caller: “You see, I was gonna yell at the manager and hope to get a free meal by saying that I knew the owner, but…”

Owner: “… Do I know you?”

Caller: “No…”

Owner: “…”

Caller: “This is awkward.”

Owner: “Yeah, it is. Please never call back. I don’t particularly do well with customers who try to harass me or my employees, or lie in order for you to get a free meal. Have a nice day.”

(I was still somewhat surprised by her honesty, even if it was due to her total realization that it wouldn’t have worked!)

Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 9
Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 8
Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 7