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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Not Very Closed Minded, Part 4

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (I am working the closing shift at the store. We close at 7 pm and it’s just gone 7:15 pm. The last customer has just left the shop so I go to shut the doors and lock them when a customer pushes past me and runs into the store.)

    Me: “I am so sorry sir, but we have closed for the evening.”

    Customer: “No, you haven’t.”

    Me: “I can assure you, sir, that we have. We close at 7 pm each evening.”

    Customer: “But it’s after 7 and you are still here. Stop lying to me.”

    (The customer ignores me, grabs a basket and proceeds to do his shopping. I inform my manager of the situation and my manager and I approach the customer.)

    Manager: “Sir, we have closed for the evening so I am asking you politely to leave. We reopen at 5 am tomorrow morning. Please feel free to come back then.”

    (The customer began swearing at us before reluctantly leaving the store after 7:30 pm. Several days later my manager informed me that the customer had tried this three nights in a row! Needless to say we got an extra sign with the hours of the store placed on the doors.)

    Related:
    Not Very Closed Minded, Part 3

    It’s Time To Show Them The Door

    | Denver, CO, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (I work at a movie theater that has its last show times at 10:30. We close 30 minutes after the last show time. A group of customers show up right at 11 and try to open our locked doors. Instead of realizing that we are closed, they start banging on the door to be let in. I try to ignore it, but my coworker gives in and opens the door for them.)

    Coworker: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we are closed for the night.”

    Customer: “No, you’re not; you have a show time of 1 am for [Popular Movie] right there on your screen.”

    Coworker: “Actually that was for 1 pm, not 1 am. We close at 11.”

    Customer: “But your board says 1 am! Right there, look.”

    Coworker: “I am sorry for the confusion, but that is definitely not for 1 am. We don’t have staff here past 12 at night to sell tickets.”

    Customer: “Then why did you open the door?”

    Coworker: “I opened the door to tell you we are closed.”

    Customer: “But you opened the door! If you open it, doesn’t that mean you are open?”

    Coworker: “Um…”

    (I step in at this point.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I am very sorry, but we honestly don’t have any times past 10:30 at night.”

    Customer: “Can’t you just turn the projector on for us to watch the movie?”

    Me: “No, we can’t, because our systems are automated. We have very little control on when the movies get played.”

    Customer: “Then why did you open the door! You really shouldn’t open the door for someone if you are closed.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I don’t want to be rude, but you were practically banging our door down.”

    Customer: “Because I didn’t know you were closed! How was I supposed to know that you were closed?”

    Me: “Because the door was locked?”

    Customer: “But I didn’t know it was locked!”

    Me: “But you couldn’t open the door…”

    Customer: “I thought it was stuck or something!”

    Me: “But not locked?”

    Customer: “Yes! Why is this so hard for you to understand?!”

    (The customer storms off with her group. She then turns back.)

    Customer: “Lock your d*** door next time!”

    A Do-Not-Disturbing Amount Of Stupidity

    | SC, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging

    Guest: “My room is filthy! I demand a free night! This is ridiculous! Give me your corporate number!”

    Me: “I’m so sorry, ma’am. Give me your room number and I’ll sort this out!”

    Guest: “209.”

    Me: “Ma’am, it says you’ve been in this room three days. We have a housekeeper going to your room to clean it today. They’ll be there at 9 am. We have it listed that your room had a do not disturb sign for the last three days. Please remove it from your card slot and your room will be cleaned.”

    Guest: “Well how the f*** was I supposed to know they wouldn’t come if that was there? You should tell people that! Poor service! Get to my room NOW and do your job! Idiots!”

    Me: “…yes, ma’am.”

    (She did this two more times in her two week stay, never once taking the do-not-disturb sign of her door.)

    Taxing Faxing, Part 13

    | London, England, UK | Extra Stupid, Technology

    Customer: “Did you get the order I faxed you over?  I haven’t heard back from you.”

    Me: “Yes, I did get it and tried to fax you a pro forma back, but it kept ringing out.”

    Customer: “Yeah, I always unplug the fax machine after I send a fax.”

    Related:
    Taxing Faxing, Part 12
    Taxing Faxing, Part 11
    Taxing Faxing, Part 10

    Directionless Wireless

    | Sheffield, England, UK | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work in technical support for an ISP. During a call with a customer the following conversation transpired.)

    Customer: “Your router isn’t very good is it? I can only get wireless signal downstairs.”

    Me: “Well, it is a very basic router. Is your house fairly old, as in having rather thick walls and ceilings?”

    Customer: “That’s right.”

    Me: “That would be why. The signal is struggling to get through. You can always look into a more powerful router or a booster, maybe?”

    Customer: “But… I don’t understand. I leave the door open so it can get upstairs.”

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