Featured Story:
  • Always Time For A Rhyme
    (2,126 thumbs up)
  • Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Deal With Them On A Case By Case Basis

    | Germany | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (A customer calls tech support, telling me he had bought a new computer at one of my company’s stores, and that it isn’t turning on.)

    Me: “Okay, I understand the problem.”

    (Thinking it’s going to be the standard power-supply-switch/cable not connected issue, I ask him if he has plugged it in and switched it on at the back.)

    Caller: “Well, there’s the problem. There is nowhere to plug in a cable.”

    Me: “That’s unusual. Sir, are you sure you have the right cable and are looking at the right side of the computer?”

    Caller: “Yes. I am looking at the back side, and there is nowhere to plug in a cable or anything.”

    Me: “Okay, could you please describe to me what you see.”

    Caller: “Well, I can tell you that there is a big hole in the back of the computer through which I can stick my entire arm.”

    Me: *trying not to laugh* “Okay, sir, I think that might be the problem. I think you have bought a bare-bone casing for a computer, rather than a working PC. May I ask what the computer cost?”

    Caller: “€90.”

    Me: “Okay, sir,.I would advise you to take that casing back to the store and tell the guys there the issue. I am sure the will take it back and provide you with an actual computer rather than a case.”

    Caller: “Er, um, okay. I guess I’ll do that then…” *click*

    Can’t Imagine Why You Can’t Use Imaginary Coupons

    | NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

    (I greet a table of ten. In the middle of introducing myself this happens:)

    Customer: “I have a coupon.”

    Me: “Okay, hang on to it. It is applied at the end.”

    Customer: “Hang onto it? I don’t have it with me. Is that a problem?”

    Me: “So, you want to use a coupon that you don’t have with you?”

    Customer: “I don’t understand why you have coupons if you won’t accept them.”

    Me: “…”

    Taxing Taxing

    | MD, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Money

    (Two customers come in close to closing and order three milkshakes. One of my employees makes them, they pay and leave. Five minutes later they come back in.)

    Customer #1: “These shakes all taste funny. We tried all three. They’re all sour. We would like our money refunded.”

    Me: “I’m sorry about that. Give me just a moment.”

    (The card charges for the day don’t go through until we manually process them at the end of the night. Rather than giving them a refund for the charge amount, I find their exact order and comp off the shakes, making their order total $0.00 and removing their charge from having ever existed. I hand them a copy of the comped receipt.)

    Me: “Well, here you go. Sorry about the shakes. Have a good night.”

    Customer #1: “This is only for $8.70. We were charged $9.22.”

    Me: “It just says $8.70 because that’s the price for the shakes without tax, which was removed from the bill making the total bill zero. The tax isn’t displayed because no tax can be added to a total of zero.”

    Customer #2: “What, so I’m still being charged the tax!?”

    Me: “No… The total is zero. There is no charge being made at all to your card. The comp here says $8.70 because that is the original price for the shakes. ”

    Customer #2: “So you only refunded me $8.70, not $9.22.”

    Me: “The original price was removed entirely, making the total zero. As there is no total on your order now, there is no tax, so it’s not displayed. That’s just the way the receipt displays the information. The charge was reversed entirely. The total displayed is zero dollars and zero cents, which is the new total for your order.”

    (The customers, brows still furrowed, cautiously leave. Another moment later, customer #2 comes back in.)

    Customer #2: “Could I just have your name to reference in case of further incident?”

    Me: “Uh, sure, my name is [My Name].”

    (I include the incident in my end of the night communications to the next day’s managers in case anything comes up. I also work the next day, but am not the manager in charge. The next day, the manager comes to talk to me about mid-afternoon.)

    Manager: “Did you see your shake lady come in?”

    Me: “No. What? You mean the lady who thought I was charging her tax? From last night?”

    Manager: “Yeah, she actually came in! I had to explain to her that it wasn’t an actual refund but a reversal. She wasn’t getting it. I was like, it was a same day charge so we can just remove the charge from ever having happened rather than the hassle of doing a refund.”

    Me: “Yeah, I explained the same exact thing to her…”

    Manager: “She asked to speak to a manager, I should have gotten you!” *laughs*

    Me: “Oh, man, that would have been great. She drove all the way back up here over 52 cents.”

    Seems To Be Their Calling Card

    | USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid

     

    (A customer has just left after paying for their stuff with a credit card. A few minutes later…)

    Customer: “Hi, again. I left my credit card behind. Have you seen it?”

    Me: “Let me see.” *looks around the register, counter, and pin-pad machine* “Is it on the floor?”

    Customer: “No. Well, where is it?”

    Me: “I do not know.”

    Customer: “You didn’t check out anyone else, did you?”

    Me: “I have not.”

    Customer: “I checked my purse, my pockets, and my bags. I can’t find it. Do you have it?”

    Me: “No, ma’am, I haven’t seen it.”

    Customer: “You have it. Don’t lie to me. It’s not right to steal credit cards. Call your manager, now! You thief! Give me back my card!”

    (I call the manager up.)

    Manager: “Are you sure you checked everywhere?”

    Customer: “Just check him! I should be calling the police.”

    (I reveal my pockets. My manager checks all around my station, and then:)

    Customer: “Oh, silly me. I put it in my glasses case. Thank heavens I found it.”

    (The customer leaves.)

    Me: “No, no. Just forget that you were blatantly accusing me to be a thief. Feel free to leave without a heartfelt apology.”

    Manager: “Don’t worry. At least the police didn’t get involved this time.”

    Me: “This time?!”

    Will Drive You To Despair

    | Tacoma, WA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid

    (As an airman I am ‘volunteered’ to help with managing traffic and marshaling cars to their parking spots. While the traffic of cars is stalled I noticed a woman talking on her phone while driving. This was a few months after it became illegal to talk on your phone while driving in Washington. I walk up to her car to ask her to get off her phone while she parked as we already had multiple collisions that day.)

    Woman: *finally off the phone* “My boyfriend just told me that I need photo ID to get into the air show!”

    Me: “Ma’am, you need photo ID to be allowed to drive.”

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