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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Confused To The Nines

    | PA, USA | Extra Stupid, Time

    Me: *answering phone* “Hello, thank you for calling [Store]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: *clearly a young teenage guy* “Uh…yeah, I was just wondering what time you are open until today.”

    (Note, it is currently 9:30 am.)

    Me: “We are open until nine today.”

    Customer: “Nine in the morning or, like, nine?”

    Someone In The Background: “Dude! Did you seriously just ask that?”

    Me: *stifling laughter* “Nine at night, sir.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay…”

    Me: “Was there anything else I can help you with?”

    Customer: “No… no… that’s all.”

    Failed With Flying Colors

    | Wollongong, NSW, Australia | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (Our jewellery cabinet is sorted into a colour display with each shelf being solely dedicated to one colour. A customer beckons me over.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, I’d like to look at the turquoise jewellery please.”

    Me: “Of course, which ones would you like to see?”

    Customer: *pointing at the turquoise shelf* “The turquoise ones.”

    Me: “Which ones in particular?”

    Customer: *pointing again* “The turquoise jewellery.”

    Me: “Ma’am, all of the jewellery on that shelf is turquoise. I’m finding it hard to see which one in particular you’re looking at. Would you be able to describe it for me?”

    Customer: “Oh, of course they are!”

    (She bends towards the shelf, squints at it, and jabs the glass with her finger.)

    Customer: “The turquoise one!”

    Me: “…”

    (Ten minutes later we figured it out.)

    Fractionally More Stupid

    | Greenville, NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science

    (I have recently started working in the deli of a grocery store.)

    Me: “Hello. How are you today, miss?”

    Customer: “Hi, I would like some [Brand] ham please.”

    Me: “Sure, and how much of the [Brand] ham would you like?”

    Customer: *thinking* “Um… I’ll take about a quarter — no! I’ll take less than that. I want more than a third of a pound, but no more than one quarter pound!”

    (I tried my best not to laugh at the fact that a third is actually MORE than a fourth (difference between 0.33 and 0.25 respectively). I ended up slicing her one fifth instead. No wonder there’s a math joke saying that ‘5 out of 4 people have a problem with fractions!’)

    Won The Gold Medal For Most Stupid Customer

    | Wales, UK | Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Technology

    (I work on the shop floor of a DIY store. A customer comes up to me holding a torch and looking confused.)

    Me: “Can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’m not quite sure how this torch would work.”

    Me: “You just put AA batteries in it and push the button on the side here.”

    Customer: “But it says here on the label that this is a silver-coloured torch.”

    (She points at the label on the silver torch and it does indeed say ‘Torch – Colour: Silver.’)

    Me: “Yes, that’s right…”

    Customer: “But how can light be silver?”

    Me: “Oh, no, the light is white like a standard torch. The colour on the label refers to the colour of the metal.”

    Customer: “But… it says it’s silver…”

    (At this point I get a black torch off of the shelf to show her that the label says ‘Torch – Colour: Black’)

    Me: “See, the label on this one says black and this metal is black.”

    Customer: “But it says it’s a silver coloured torch!”

    (After 10 full minutes of explaining, the woman handed me back the silver torch and walked off muttering about false advertising.)

    The Question Is Largely Irregular

    , | Australia | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (We run a mobile coffee van. When we go to the markets we have a sign with the prices and types of coffee that you can get. On the sign we have R $4.50, for regular size, and L $5.50 for large size.)

    Customer: “What’s the difference between left-handed and right-handed coffee?”

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