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  • October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Not In Pole Position

    | Salem, OR, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (I work in the ‘sporting goods’ department when a customer approaches me with a fishing pole. He proceeds to hand me the pole and says:)

    Customer: “This pole is broken!”

    (I look at it and can find no defects, so I ask the customer what is wrong with it.)

    Customer: “The eyes on the top part of the pole do not line up with the bottom half.”

    (I took the pole and straightened out the top so that all of the eyes were in line and handed it back to him. Needless to say, he was extremely embarrassed…)

    Wish They Would Just BOGOF

    | Canton, GA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (I work in a retail store that almost always has some kind of sale for frames. This particular week we have a ‘Buy One, Get One Free’ deal.)

    Me: “Did you find everything all right?”

    Customer: *places frame on the counter* “I think this is 50% off.”

    (Wanting to double-check just in case there is another deal besides the BOGO, I ask over the headset. A coworker responds saying the only deal we have is the BOGO one.)

    Me: “This isn’t 50% off, but it is part of our ‘Buy One, Get One Free’ deal. If you buy two of the same frame, you’ll get one of those for free.”

    Customer: “I don’t think that’s what the sign said. But I’ll just go ahead and pay for this one.”

    (I finish the transaction, hand her the receipt and she walks back to the frame section. She comes back with the sign that was hanging up back there.)

    Customer: “This sign says ‘Buy One, Get One Free.'”

    Me: “Right.”

    Customer: “Why did you tell me it was ‘Buy One Get One 50% Off?'”

    Me: “I didn’t. I said it was Buy One, Get One Free.”

    Customer: *brought up another of the same frame* “Well, I want this one for free.”

    Me: “Okay, well, I’ll have to treat your first frame purchase as a return, and then ring both of the frames up in a new transaction for you to get the deal.”

    (As we were walking to the register, she was mumbling under her breath about how I told her the wrong deal and how ridiculous it was that she just can’t walk out with the second frame. I finished the return and the new transaction, told her to “Have a good day,” and she snatched the receipt and walked out without a word.)

    A Functional Solution

    | Grove, OK, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I manage a lease-to-own business and am listening in on one of my newer employees taking a phone call.)

    Employee: “Yes, sir. Let me find out for you. Please hold.”

    (The employee turns to me.)

    Employee: “This customer says that his number pad or something like that on the laptop he’s leasing from us isn’t working. He was a bit hard to understand. He wants to know if we can fix it. Well, he actually wants us to replace the whole keyboard and give him a loaner laptop until it’s fixed. What should I tell him?”

    Me: “This is unfortunately a common request. But, we don’t generally give loaner items for computers due to personal information being put on them. But, often computer issues are a fairly easy fix. Just let him know that he can bring the laptop in, and I’ll see what we can do.”

    (I go back to training another of my employees on dealing with accounts. A short time after that the customer comes in and my sales/service manager speaks with him. I eavesdrop on the following:)

    Customer: “Here it is. My brother was using it and all of the sudden the mouse thing stopped working. I’d like you to just give me another one.”

    Sales Manager: “Well, let’s see what we can do!”

    (They start taking the laptop out of the bag and getting all of the cords out. I look at the employee I’ve been training…)

    Me: “I’ve got to take part in this.” *I walk out to the front counter*

    Customer: “Yeah, the pointer thing works on the login screen. But, it just disappears as soon as the main screen loads. I just don’t understand what happened.”

    (The sales manager is attempting to untangle the mess of power cords the customer handed him. I reach across my sales manager and hit the F5 key and then turn to the customer.)

    Me: “There. All fixed!”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “It wasn’t broken. Your touch pad was turned off. If you look at the F5 key, you’ll see the touchpad on/off icon. When it’s pushed, it’ll either enable or disable the touchpad.”

    Customer: *squints at keyboard keys* “You’re right. I can see it now.”

    Me: “Makes it much simpler! Now you won’t need us to replace anything. Heck, you won’t even need a new computer! You have a nice day!”

    (I walk back into my office and sit at my desk as quietly as possible until the customer has left. The sales manager comes into the room along with my two other employees. They all look at me as I burst into laughter.)

    Employee: “You fixed that faster than he could even explain what the problem was! He was even requesting we give him a new one!”

    Me: “He’s probably the third customer to do that very thing in just the last few weeks!!”

    (I now plan on offering a simple ‘Computer Basics’ class to all of our customers who get computers from us!)

    New Degrees Of Misunderstanding

    | Wales, UK | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work for a large UK retailer, who has just released a new tablet computer, providing technical support for the product. We’re encouraged to keep customers on the line during the first time setup. This happens just at the start of the call, when selecting a wireless network to connect to.)

    Me: “Okay, ma’am. You’ll now see a screen that says ‘Select WiFi.’ Please find your home network connection and select it for me.”

    Customer: “Found it! It’s asking for my password, I’ll just type that in… It says ‘Authenticating.’ Why is it saying that?”

    (This always means the password was put in wrong. Usually it’s because the customer’s holding the tablet in landscape, and mistypes it.)

    Me: “You might’ve accidentally typed the password in wrong. Forget the network and try again. Might I ask how you’re holding the [Tablet] right now?”

    Customer: *sigh* “Landscape.”

    Me: “Okay, if you could just hold it in portrait for me, just for this step.”

    Customer: *long pause* “…How do I do that?”

    Me: “Um… you turn it 90 degrees, ma’am. So that the camera’s on the side, instead of the top.”

    Customer: *longer pause* “This is too complicated for me! I give up!” *click*

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 39

    | NY, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

    (A woman and her friend come up to my register to pay for her rather large order. She hands me her credit card and continues talking to her friend.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, miss, your card was declined.”

    (She glares at me before returning to her friend.)

    Me: “Let me try it again. Still coming back declined.”

    Customer: “How can that be? Are you sure you’re doing it right?”

    Me: “It’s hard to do it wrong. I’ll key it in manually. Maybe my reader is broken.”

    (I manually key in the card; it gets declined again.)

    Me: “I’m sorry miss, your card was declined again. Do you ha—”

    Customer: *to friend* “You know? I spend more money in this place than this guy makes in a week.”

    Me: “That may be the reason your credit card is maxed out.”

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 38
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 37
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 36

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