• Gloating About Gluten
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  • October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 19

    | Baton Rouge, LA, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (My company issues computers to all of its field employees. I work in the corporate office, troubleshooting various issues. All users have one of several model laptops and all have the same operating system.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Company] IT support. How may I help you?”

    User: “Yes, I can’t get my emails. The Internet just says it can’t display the webpage.”

    Me: “Okay, well, let’s see what we can do about that. Are you connected to the Internet?”

    User: “How would I know?”

    (I walk her through finding the list of connections next to the date and time.)

    User: “It says no connections.”

    Me: “Oh, okay, well, we need to get on one before the Internet will work. Do you have service bars showing on your broadband card to connect there?”

    User: “No, I live in the country and can’t get a signal.”

    Me: “Okay, do you have home wifi?”

    User: “Yes.”

    Me: “Can you connect to that?”

    User: “I don’t know; what is my home wifi?”

    Me: “It’ll show up on that list of possible connections.”

    User: “There are [names off the three networks showing]. Which one is mine?”

    Me: “I don’t know, ma’am… You or your Internet provider would have set it up.”

    (She manages to find it written down on some papers nearby.)

    User: “Okay, it wants a password. What’s my password?”

    Me: “Ma’am, that is something you set up with your Internet provider. You don’t have it written down?”

    User: “No, can you reset it for me?”

    Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 18
    Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 17
    Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 16

    Gloating About Gluten

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (I’m the manager of a lingerie store. I’m working out the back when I overhear a conversation between my employee and a posh-looking customer in her 40s.)

    Employee: “Hello, welcome to [Store]. Is there anything I can help you with?”

    Customer: “I’m looking for a gluten free bra. It has to be gluten free.”

    Employee: “Uhh. I’m sorry ma’am but we don’t stock gluten free garments. There’s actually not—”

    Customer: “Don’t even try to tell me that you don’t have any. I know you have them. It says so on your website. You just don’t have them on display.”

    Employee: “Ma’am, I’ve actually never heard of gluten free clothing before and I can assure you that we do not stock any.”

    Customer: “You haven’t heard of them? How can you work in this store and not know your own stock? Go and get the manager. Stupid girl.”

    (I am just about to lose my cool and order the woman out of the store when I have a better idea. Grabbing a box of bras, I make my way to the front desk.)

    Me: “Good afternoon, ma’am. My employee has informed me you wish to purchase one of our new gluten free garments. I’m sorry she wasn’t aware that we sell them. They’re usually reserved for online sale only.”

    Customer: “Well, you need to train your staff better. Knowledge is power, you know.”

    Me: “I guess you’re pretty lucky you’re in the know, then. These are the gluten free garments but because you’re not buying them online I can’t offer a refund or exchange should you change your mind. I shouldn’t even be selling them to you, but I’ll make an exception just this once.”

    (At this point the customer is looking pretty smug.)

    Customer: “Finally! I need it in [size].”

    Me: “Ok. That will be $50, please.”

    Customer: “Oh, but those on the shelf are the same and they’re only $30.”

    Me: “Yes, but these are the ‘gluten free’ ones you’ve specifically requested.”

    Customer: “Oh, yes. That’s fine, then.”

    Me: “Thank you for shopping at [Store]. Have a nice day.”

    (After she leaves, my employee, who has been in the back trying to figure out what is going on, comes out.)

    Employee: “What just happened?”

    Me: “A rude woman who thinks she knows more than my employees just bought us lunch.”

    How To Get Yourself Fired

    | London, England, UK | Extra Stupid

    (I work for an IT company that, among other things, provides technical support for IT equipment to customers. On company I take calls for has hundreds of small restaurants dotted across the UK. I receive a call from a site in London around the time of the riots.)

    Me: “Welcome to the [Company] support desk. You’re speaking to [My Name]. How can I help?”

    Customer: “Hi, this is [Store]. The building next to us has been set fire and the smoke and flames are coming into our building. What do we do?”

    Me: *in a slightly panicked voice* “Silly question, but have you contacted the fire department and evacuated the building?”

    Customer: “errr… No, what’s their number?”

    Me: “999.” *the number for emergency services in the UK*

    Customer: “Okay, I’ll call them now.”

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 44

    , | SC, USA | Extra Stupid, Money, Technology

    Customer: “I have your mobile app… I know I can take a picture of a check and make a deposit that way. But I want to know how to make a mobile withdrawal…”

    Me: “You want to know if you can make a mobile withdrawal?”

    Customer: “Yes. I can’t figure out any way to do that.”

    Me: “Well, sir, there is no way to do that because you would have to go to an ATM or into a branch to get actual cash.”

    Customer: “But I’m not at an ATM and your branch is closed. I want to deposit this check through the app and get cash right now.”

    Me: “Well sir, frankly, technology hasn’t gotten to the point where mobile phones can print – and even at that, printing money, unless done by the government, is illegal.”

    Customer: “So I can’t make a mobile withdrawal?”

    Me: “No, sir.”

    Customer: “That’s stupid.” *click*

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 43
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 42
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 41

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 43

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Money

    (Working for a large retail chain, our manager had decided that we would no longer accept checks, since they usually ended up bouncing. A customer walks up to the counter with an armful of stuff and pulls out his checkbook.)

    Me: “Sorry, sir, but we don’t accept checks here.”

    Customer: “But I prefer using checks.”

    Me: “Sorry, we don’t accept them… How about your debit card?”

    Customer: “I can’t use that. There’s no money in the account.”

    Me: “Um… is this the same account for the check you were going to write?”

    Customer: “Of course!”

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 42
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 41
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 40

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