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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 34

    | OR, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

    (I’m next in line at a chain arts and crafts store. Everyone who shops here complains about how long the lines always are, and how there are never any employees around, but I think it’s more because there is ALWAYS a difficult customer at the front of the line.)

    Customer: “I’d like to do an even exchange, this ribbon for this yarn. I don’t have a receipt for the ribbon.”

    Cashier: “Well, we don’t do exchanges without a receipt, but I can do a return on the ribbon and then we can use the money you’ll get back toward the yarn.”

    Customer: *death glare at the cashier* “Fine.”

    Cashier: “It looks like you’ll get $2.61 back for the ribbon. I’ll just put that toward the yarn if that’s okay?

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Cashier: “Okay, and the yarn comes out to $2.51. So you’ll actually get a dime back!”

    Customer: “WHAT?! I TOLD YOU I WANTED AN EVEN EXCHANGE! WHY ARE YOU SO STUPID?!”

    Cashier: “Ma’am, this is just the price of the yarn. I have nothing to do with it. It’s in your favor. You’re getting money back.”

    Customer: “WHY WOULD I WANT MONEY BACK?! I HATE THIS STORE! EVERYONE HERE IS SO INCOMPETENT!”

    (Everyone in line stares in confusion as she storms out of the store with the yarn and not the dime. As I’m next in line, the cashier looks at me.)

    Cashier: “Well, then. Looks like you get a 10-cent discount on your purchase, miss! I hope that’s okay; I know money’s so darn inconvenient these days!”

    Related:
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 33
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 32
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 31

    Saved His Bacon

    | SC, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I’m taking the food to an eight-top table, and everyone gets their food. One customer has ordered a breakfast sandwich on a bagel. The way that we make the sandwiches is by wrapping the meat and cheese in the eggs. It’s basically a folded omelet placed on a bagel. I can tell that the man is a little confused looking at his food, so I wait for him to ask the question.)

    Customer: “I ordered bacon. Where is the bacon?”

    Me: “The bacon is wrapped up in the eggs, and you will find it as soon as you bite into it.”

    (I then go on to ask if there is anything else I can do for the table. For the most part, everyone is fine, and I only have to get a couple of drink refills. However, before I am able to turn around to leave, he asks again:)

    Customer: “Where is my bacon? I ordered bacon on my sandwich?!”

    Me: *looking at him in the eye* “Sir, it is wrapped up inside the eggs. I promise it is there.”

    (I make a quick exit to get the refills and then come back. When I return, I notice that he still has not touched his food, and I am beginning to feel a little annoyed. Unsurprisingly, the first thing he says when I walk in the room is:)

    Customer: “I ordered bacon on my sandwich, and there is no bacon on my sandwich.”

    (Once again I let him know that the bacon is in fact on the sandwich, and that he can’t see it because it is wrapped up in the eggs. Other people at the table begin to ask me random questions about the restaurant and the area, but in the background, all I can hear is him asking for his bacon. I finally turn to the man, and in a rather harsh voice say:)

    Me: “Sir, the bacon is wrapped up in the eggs. Could you please either take a bite of your sandwich or cut it in half to verify that the bacon is there before I leave?”

    (The table was completely quiet and was staring at me. He took a bite of the sandwich, and found that there was, in fact, bacon in the eggs!)

    It’s No Use Lying Over Spilt Milk

    | ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I work at a big name coffee chain. This conversation is taking place over headsets; I’m in the back unpacking stock.)

    Coworker: “Is it possible to be allergic to milk fat?”

    Me: “I don’t know, maybe? Some pretty weird allergies run in my family.”

    Coworker: “This customer just asked for a drink made nonfat because she’s allergic to milk fat.”

    Me: “Well, if she says there’s an allergy, assume she’s telling the truth.”

    Coworker: “And she wants whipped cream on it.”

    Me: “…”

    Unable To Channel The Caller

    | Canada | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work tech support for the Internet part of a company that also provides cable TV and cell phones, so sometimes we get calls meant for other departments. When that happens, we just transfer them over. One day I get a call from an older, heavily-accented caller.)

    Me: “Thanks for choosing [Company] Internet tech support. What can I do for you today?”

    Customer: “My weather network, and the news, and, uh… it no work!”

    Me: “Your Internet isn’t working?”

    Customer: “No! Not Internet. TV! My weather channel isn’t working! And the news channel!”

    Me: “Oh, your cable TV isn’t working!”

    Customer: “”Right!”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that! Well, you’ve reached Internet tech support, so let me get you right over to cable TV repair, and they’ll be able to look into that for you. Before I get you to them, do you have any Internet questions for me while you have me here?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Customer: “My weather channel isn’t working!”

    Me: “Okay, well, then, let me get you right over to cable TV repair then. This will just put you back into hold while I get you to them. There may be just a brief wait–”

    Customer: “Wait!”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Customer: “My news channel isn’t working!”

    Me: “Well, that’s still on your TV, so let’s get you right over to the right department–”

    Customer: “Wait!”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Customer: “My weather channel isn’t working either!”

    Me: “Okay, well-let-me-get-you-right-over-to-the-right-guys-they’ll-be-with-you-in-just-a-sec-bye!” *hits transfer button*

    Time Zone Phone Home

    | Dallas, TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography

    (The customer places an online order and wants to change some items, but it isn’t showing up yet. I tell the customer to call back in an hour to be able to check it.)

    Customer: “So on what time are you located?”

    Me: “Eastern time.”

    Customer: “So, at what time I have to call back?”

    Me: “In an hour.”

    Customer: “So what time over here would that be?”

    Me: “…”

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