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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    A Closing Time Is Half Open Kinda Caller, Part 2

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Time

    (For the company I work for, the call center is open 24/7.)

    Customer: “When do you guys close? I want to make sure I place my order before then.”

    Me: “You are in luck. We are open 24 hours.”

    Customer: “Which 24 hours?”

    Me: “Um, we don’t close. We are open all day and night.”

    Customer: “But which hours?”

    Me: “Sir, we don’t close.”

    (This goes on for several minutes.)

    Me: “Mr. [Customer]. We… do… not… close.”

    Customer: “Well, [My Name], why didn’t you say so?”

    Me: “…”

    Related:
    A Closing Time Is Half Open Kinda Caller

    You Haven’t Seen Anything Yette

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Language & Words

    (I help a mother find a dress for her daughter for a special occasion. It is really busy since it is prom season but we are able to find a dress. She is a bit demanding, but we try to accommodate as much as we can. Before deciding, we are talking about possibilities for alterations.)

    Customer: “So the dress will be finished by then, RIGHT?”

    Me: “Yes, I assure that it will all be fixed by then.”

    Customer: “It better be since I’m paying all of this money for one dress.”

    Me: “Well, if you prefer, there is another place that does alterations right around the corner. If you want, we can leave the dress on hold so you can check to see if their prices are within your price range.”

    Customer: “No, I don’t want to. It’s such a hassle.”

    Me: “All right, then.”

    (My coworker turns to me for help.)

    Coworker: “How do you spell ‘corset?’”

    Me: “C-O-R-S-E-T.”

    Customer: “…T-E! It is spelled; C-O-R-S-E-T-T-E.”

    Me: *sighs with an awkward smile*

    Theme Of The Park Is All Natural

    | New River Gorge, WV, USA | Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel

    Customer: “How do you get the boat to spin like we just did? Is it hooked up to wires?”

    Me: “Um… ma’am, we are rafting on a river. This is not a ride. There are no wires.”

    Customer: “I thought this was a ride, like at a theme park.”

    Me: “No, ma’am, this is a real river.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay. Guess I better not fall out, then.” *continues paddling*

    Fairness Is Limited

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel

    (Customers have the option of buying a single-ride coupon or an unlimited rides ticket. It’s a particularly busy day, and the queue line on my ride is over 45 minutes long. The ride has just finished and most people are exiting, except for two customers.)

    Me: “Hey, gentlemen, the exit is out that way, when you’re ready.”

    Customer #1: “We’re staying on for another go.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but you will have to line up again to ride, especially since it’s so busy.”

    Customer #2: “But we have these.” *shows me his unlimited rides ticket* “See, unlimited.”

    Me: “Yes, you can go on multiple rides in the park, but you still have to line up every time. It’s only fair.”

    Customer #2: “But we have these!”

    Me: “As do most of the people in this queue, sir.”

    (On cue, most of the guests in the queue started waving their tickets at the pair. They finally left.)

    Can’t Keep Count Of The Account

    | FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (This customer is part of a rewards program for the store and calls in immediately yelling with a list of complaints. He eventually says his main concern right now is that he got an email saying his password was being re-sent on the site and he didn’t want it to be.)

    Me: “Okay. Well, I can delete your registration and give you your account number which you can use to create a new registration with the same account, so all your info will still be there.”

    Customer: “I don’t have time for all of this or to go online. Can’t you just fix my password for me and I can hang up while you do it.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. It is against privacy laws for me to know your password. I cannot do that.”

    Customer: “Then get me someone who can. Do you know how many accounts and passwords I have? If I have to do this all the time how can I live?”

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