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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Drawing A Blanc

    | UK | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (We are one of only two supermarkets in our small town, so we get lots of regular customers. Although we have to ID everyone under 25 every time they buy alcohol or cigarettes, we often make exceptions for people who forget to bring their ID, because we have seen it previously. We try to be relaxed about the rules as much as we can, to keep the locals happy. I am alone on the checkout when an old lady regular comes up with milk and wine.)

    Me: “And how are you this evening?”

    Customer: “Oh, very well! I’m just in to buy this wine because my granddaughter is cooking dinner for us. She can’t buy any because she’s under 18, and, well, she’s making this lovely kind of pavlova!”

    Me: “That sounds lovely, but you do realise that you REALLY shouldn’t have told you’re buying alcohol on behalf of someone who is underage? I can’t sell this to you if that’s what you’re doing.”

    Customer: “WHAT? But that’s why I’M buying it, for my dinner! I can buy wine if I want!”

    Me: *thinking hopefully I misheard her rambling* “Well if you ARE buying it just for your dinner, then maybe I can let you off with it, but you do need to understand that you can’t buy with intent to supply to alcohol to underage people.”

    Customer: “I can buy alcohol for my granddaughter if I want to. It’s for cooking. She won’t be drinking it!”

    Me: “I know what you are trying to say, but I need you to understand that you can’t TELL ME you’re buying it for a teenager. You can have it this time, under the circumstances, but I need you to tell me you understand you shouldn’t do it in future.”

    Customer: “This is unbelievable! If you’re going to be like that, you can take it back! I should be able to buy whatever I want! I’ll just go to [Other Supermarket] and buy it there!”

    (She storms off dramatically and the only other customer comes up to the counter.)

    Customer #2: “She didn’t seem like the brightest spark, did she?”

    Stupidity Is Not To Be Sniffed At

    | UK | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (A customer comes to the till and orders a tea and a coffee. I make it and take it over to them. Two minutes later the customer is back.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, you gave us the wrong drinks.”

    Me: “Tea and coffee was it?”

    Customer: “Yes”

    Me: “That’s what I gave you.”

    Customer: “But you gave it to us the wrong way round.”

    Me: “Sorry, but can’t you swap them?”

    Customer: “Well, no. She has already smelt it.”

    Acting Like It’s The End Of The World

    | Cornelius, OR, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Money

    Me: “Hi! How are you today?”

    Customer: “Three days ago the yarn was $1 and now it’s $3.”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Why isn’t it $1?”

    Me: “Because it was on sale, but the sale ended yesterday.”

    Customer: *annoyed, hands on her hips* “Why did it do that?!”

    (I start laughing until I realize she’s dead serious. I quickly stop and look at her blankly.)

    Me: “Um… because that’s what sales do. They… end.”

    When The Cat’s Away The Dogs Have A Spa Day

    | CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month

    (I am the groomer at a veterinary hospital. Midway through my shift I go to grab a cat I have scheduled for a bath. To keep their stress to a minimum there is a room that is exclusively for cats. All boarding and grooming cats are kept there. As soon as I enter the room the cat is already growling and hissing. Take note: the cat has a short coat and the hair looks very shiny. After a quick glance at the chart I call up the owner.)

    Me: “[Cat] is already a little grumpy, so I’m a bit hesitant to work on him. I don’t want to stress him out any more than I have to. His coat looks pretty clean. Was there a particular reason you wanted him washed today?”

    Client: “Well, my dogs are there to get groomed all the time, getting their spa days. I didn’t want him feeling left out…”

    Stupidity Is On Fire Today

    | TN, USA | Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging

    (I and my brother work in a motel. We use traditional metal keys instead of the card keys you often see these days. The locks are old and sometimes door locks can be reluctant to open and you have to jiggle them a little. One day an angry man comes in while we’re working.)

    Customer: “My key doesn’t work! It won’t turn in the lock!”

    Brother: “Yes, sir, sometimes the keys can do that. Try this one.”

    (My brother hands him another key. The customer comes back in shortly thereafter.)

    Customer: “The key you gave me didn’t work either!”

    Brother: “All right, sir. Let me take another one down there and try to unlock the door for you.”

    (My brother goes to the man’s room with him with both keys he had and yet another one. Upon testing all three keys, not one of them gives him any issue at all opening the door. Nonetheless, my brother leaves the newest key with him and tells him that if he has any more trouble, to come back to the office. Later that day, surely enough the man returns.)

    Customer: “YOUR D*** KEYS STILL DON’T WORK! I can’t believe this s***! What if there was a fire?!”

    (My brother and I look at one another trying not to laugh, to which I respond.)

    Me: “Well, sir… if there were a fire, I hope you would be trying to get out of the motel, not in.”

    (The customer looks back at us, turns red-faced, and calms down after that. We take him back to his room and let him in once more. After that we don’t hear from him again.)


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