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  • August Theme Of The Month: Best. Customer. Ever!

    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    A Very Unfortunate Vocabulary

    | Limerick, Ireland | Extra Stupid, Language & Words

    Me: “Because it’s too close to your renewal date, we won’t be able to change your plan now, but at the end of the week we will.”

    Customer: “So there’s nothing you can do for me now?”

    Me: “Unfortunately not, no.”

    Customer: “Right. And you know that word you keep using, ‘Unfortunately.'”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Customer: “I’d like you to put through some feedback to your complaints department; it’s not a real word. I don’t know who’s been doing your training or whatever, but ‘Unfortunately’ is not in the dictionary.” *click*

    This Service Just Tanked

    | MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

    (I am the customer. I am buying a bearded dragon and set-up for my daughter. The employee has been showing me everything I need, including the tank and supplies.)

    Employee: “You will also need this scrub brush.”

    Me: “What? I have to scrub the bearded dragon?”

    Employee: “No, it’s to scrub the tank.”

    Me: “…This is going on ‘Not Always Right,’ isn’t it?”

    Email Fail, Part 5

    | Espoo, Finland | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work in small photo lab/copy-and-print service. A middle-aged man approaches my counter:)

    Me: “Hi there, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “I need you to scan this so I can put it in the Internet.” *hands me a paper*

    (I was a bit confused and tried not to laugh. The customer had received an e-mail, printed it out, and now needed me to scan it so he could put it on the web!)

    Related:
    Email Fail, Part 4
    Email Fail, Part 3
    Email Fail, Part 2

    Talking Turkey About The Chickens

    | PA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    Customer: “Does your chicken and turkey come from the same animal?”

    Addressing The Underlying Problem

    | Surrey, BC, Canada | Extra Stupid, Language & Words

    (I have a customer who is trying to return an opened package of undergarments. Like the vast majority of retailers, for hygienic reasons, we have a final-sale policy on all underwear. I explain this to the customer.)

    Customer: “I didn’t know that it was going to be final sale!”

    Me: “That’s our return policy, ma’am. All underwear is final sale, no refunds, returns, or exchanges.”

    Customer: “I’ve never heard or seen that policy anywhere!”

    Me: “Ma’am, we have our policy written on this large sign right above my register, and it’s even printed on your receipt. You were given ample opportunity to read our policy.”

    Customer: “Well, WHY would I WANT to read it?!”

    (While I know that customers not reading signs is nothing new, this was my first time seeing someone show so much indignation over it. I found this to be incredibly annoying.)

    Me: “Because you’re a very intelligent lady who makes informed decisions!”

    (The customer took her underwear and quietly left my store.)

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