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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Not Quite Ringing True

    | England, UK | Extra Stupid, Health & Body

    (I have brought my friend into the hospital.)

    Doctor: “What seems to be the problem?”

    Friend: “I think I inhaled my nose ring…”

    Me: *trying not to laugh*

    Doctor: “Do you think you swallowed it?”

    Friend: “Uhm, yes. But I also feel a lump at the back of my throat…”

    Doctor: *does examination* “Okay, I can’t see anything but I’ll send you for an x-ray. When did this happen?”

    Friend: “Three days ago.”

    Doctor: “So you waited three days to get checked out when you thought you had a piece of metal stuck in your throat, yet you’re breathing, eating, and drinking fine for those three days?”

    Friend: “Yeah.”

    Doctor: “Okay, I’ll send you for an x-ray.”

    (Not surprisingly, the x-ray came back clear and almost everyone was trying to hold in their laughter!)

    There Are No Stupid Questions, Just Stupid Answers

    | NJ, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work in a bank’s contact center, where we frequently assist online banking customers with various things, including their online security questions.)

    Customer: “I’m locked out again! The computer asked me for my oldest sibling’s middle name, so I put my son’s middle name in there, and it said it was wrong!”

    Lucky Dollar Thirteen

    | OH, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Math & Science

    (It is my first day working the cash register, and everything is going well. A customer approaches my register with a handful of items. At first, she can’t figure out which items she wishes to use for which promotions, constantly changing her mind. Then she wants to use multiple (expired) coupons on her purchase. I call my coworker over to help explain to the customer how the promotions and coupons work. We finally get her straightened out on the promotions, and then this exchange happens.)

    Customer: “Okay, I think I got it. Now, with this coupon I get one item free, right?”

    Me:” Yes, ma’am, one item up to $13.”

    Customer: “Okay, well, these items here are about $13 total. Can I use those?”

    Me: “No, ma’am, the coupon is for one item up to $13.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay. I’d like to use this item, then.”

    (She places her coupon on a $14 item.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you can’t use the coupon to get that item free; it’s $14.”

    Customer: “But, you said $13.”

    Coworker: “Yes, up to $13, but that is $14.”

    Customer: “But, you said $13.”

    Coworker: “Yes, up to $13. THAT’S $14.”

    Customer: “But… didn’t you say $13?”

    Coworker:  Yes, the coupon is up to $13. That item is $14.”

    (This continues back and forth for nearly a minute.)

    Customer: “OH! You mean INCLUDING $13!”

    Coworker: “Yes?”

    Customer: “Well, the coupon should say that. I’ll find another item.”

    (The customer goes to get another item– We still don’t know if she understood a word we said. Since we don’t know how long the customer is going to take, I invite the next customer in line to come to the register.)

    Next Customer: *sets her items on the counter with a gracious smile* “I have four items and no coupons.”

    Me: “I am so sorry for your wait, ma’am…”

    Doctor’s Disorders

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Hotels & Lodging

    (It is around three in the morning when I take a phone call.)

    Me: “Front desk.”

    Guest: “Help! My husband is feeling very sick. He needs a doctor!”

    Me: “Ma’am, we don’t have any doctors in the hotel. Shall I call him an ambulance?”

    Guest: *suspiciously* “And just where is this ‘ambulance’ going to take him?”

    Me: “Um, to the hospital…”

    Guest: “…”

    Me: “…where there are doctors?”

    Guest: “Oh. Okay, then.”

    Try Not To Vegetate On It For Too Long

    | MO, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (I’m in the kitchen making pizzas when my boss comes back and tells me that an order she just sent back requested that we use a clean knife and cutting board to cut her pizza with because she is vegan and doesn’t want her pizza to come into contact with something against her diet. This is not an unusual request so I give her a thumbs up. A few minutes later I get to the ticket.)

    Me: “Hey, [Boss]? It was ticket number 62 that was the vegan ticket, right?”

    Boss: “Yeah.”

    Me: “Ticket 62… The cheese stuffed pizza with extra cheese?”

    Boss: “Yeah…”

    Me: “…”

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