November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Your Keyboards Days Are Numbered

| NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

User: “Hi, I’m having an issue entering in the numbers in this field.”

Me: “Okay, let me proxy into your computer and I’ll see what I can do.”

(I proxy into the computer, click in the field, type with no issues:)

Me: “It looks like this is working okay for me; can I have you try to enter that in again?”

User: *typing* “It’s not working.”

Me: “Hmm, okay, you’re typing in numbers there?”

User: “Yes, but it’s not working.”

Me: “Can I have you press the Num Lock button on your keyboard? It should be on the right side, directly above the 7 key.”

User: “I don’t see it.”

Me: “It’s on the keyboard, on the right side. It’s near the 7 button, on the number keypad, all the way on the right of the keyboard.”

User: “I don’t see a 7.”

Me: “…Okay, so on the keyboard—”

User: “I don’t see anything like that.”

Me: “So, you’re looking at the thing you’re typing on, correct? Not at the screen?”

User: “I just don’t see a 7 anywhere here.”

(I notice that the mouse is moving on the screen, tracking back and forth across the taskbar at the bottom of Windows.)

Me: “I think you’re looking at the screen; I need you to look at the keyboard, the thing you are typing on.”

User: “I was typing in this text box…”

Me: “Oh, no, not on the screen there, but on the keyboard. The hardware under the screen, that you type with.”

User: “But I don’t see anything like that.”

Me: “Okay, so when you place your hands in a position to type—”

User: “Oh, on the KEYBOARD.”

Me: “…Yes, do you see the 7 button on the keyboard?”

User: “…”

Me: “…”

Me: “Directly above the 7 button is the Num Lock button. It’s on the far right side.”

User: “I just don’t see that.”

(10 minutes later, I discovered that the issue was a disconnected keyboard.)

Makes You Wish You Could Throw In The Towel

| UK | Extra Stupid

(A customer is looking through our branch brochure as she seems to be redesigning her entire bathroom.)

Customer: *points at item in brochure* “That towel holder. What’s that?”

Me: “…”

Me: “It’s a towel holder. It grants wishes in addition to opening a portal to Narnia.”

(This happens with several different items…)

Wasn’t Banking On The Wrong Store

| Burlington, MA, USA | Extra Stupid

(Everyone at my branch says the name of our bank and the street we’re on when we answer the phone. Not everyone pays attention.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Bank] on [Street]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, where are you at?”

Me: “[Address]?”

Customer: “No, what’s the landmark?”

Me: “We’re in the [Supermarket] plaza.”

(The customer hangs up on me, only to call back half an hour later.)

Coworker: “Thank you for calling the [Street] branch of [Bank]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah I’m at [Plaza]. Do I have to go into another store to get to you or something?”

Coworker: “No. We’re right between [Store A] and [Store B].”

(The customer hangs up on her and calls back two minutes later.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Bank] on [Street]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Where the h*** are you?! I’m standing in front of [Two Stores Down] and I. Do. Not. See. You!”

Me: “We’re right between [Store A] and [Store B]. Look straight down.”

Customer: *seriously pissed off* “NO! The only thing between [stores A and B] IS [BANK]! WHERE ARE YOU?”

Me: “This is [Bank].”

Customer: “What. No you’re not. I called [Cell Phone Store].”

Me: “Um, no. This is definitely [Bank].”

Customer: “Oh, F*** YOU!” *click*

Credited With Stupidity

| USA | Extra Stupid, Money, Technology

(I work for a website where you are able to book hotels at lower costs. This customer isn’t happy with their stay, and requests a refund.)

Me: “So, the hotel has approved a $50 refund. We usually process that in the form of a credit to be used on our website. It will be available in a few minutes.”

Customer: “So, I can use that on any purchase within the next few minutes?”

Me: “Of course. Let me just finish with the processing of it. You’ll get an email confirmation.”

Customer: “Can I use it on Amazon?”

Me: “No, sir. This is like an in-store credit, but online. It can be used for anything purchased on our website.”

Customer: “What about on EBay?”

(I wish this was the worst thing said to me today.)

Not-So-Smartphone, Part 13

| IA, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I am about to reset a customer’s modem and I want to know if it will disconnect our call when I do.)

Me: “Are you using a cell phone right now?”

Customer: “I have a laptop.”

Me: “…Are you using a cell phone to talk to me right now?”

Customer: “I’ve got a laptop.”

Me: *giving up* “What I’m doing will reboot your modem.”

Customer: “That’s okay. I’m on a cellphone.”

Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 12
Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 11

Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 10