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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    When Photos Are Exposed

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Extra Stupid, Liars & Scammers

    Me: “Excuse me, ma’am. We do not allow the use of photography in the museum.”
     
    Guest: “I wasn’t taking a photograph!” *shows me her phone*
     
    Me: “Sorry, the way you were holding your phone looked as if you were taking a photograph. Although not only did you take a photograph, but you saved it as your cell phone wallpaper and are currently showing it to me.”

    Backwards Driving, Loopy Logic

    | Vancouver Island, BC, Canada | Extra Stupid

    (I work in a store with a donut-shaped, one-way parking lot.)

    Customer: “Your parking lot is way too dangerous! I was trying to go for a spot and someone came the other way. There was no space to get around each other! What if we crashed?”

    Me: “Which way did you go when you entered the lot? Straight or to the right?”

    Customer: “I went straight, towards the doors! What does that matter?”

    Me: “Well, everyone is supposed to go one way in the parking lot to avoid that kind of situation.”

    Customer: “Then that idiot was going the wrong way! Someone should be out there monitoring the lot!”

    Me: “Actually, ma’am, you’re supposed to turn right when you enter the parking lot. Everyone moves in a counter-clockwise direction.”

    Customer: “And I’m supposed to just know that? The road should be marked!”

    Me: “It is, ma’am.”

    Customer: “It certainly is not!”

    (I lead the customer to a window overlooking the lot and the customer sees enormous white arrows painted the entire way through, showing which way to go.)

    Customer: “What, you expect me to be looking at the road when I drive!?”

    The Wrong Outlet For Your Problems, Part 2

    | Amsterdam, The Netherlands | Extra Stupid, Home Improvement

    (A customer is returning an electrical outlet with a remote control, and is complaining that the remote didn’t work.)

    Customer: “I tried everything, made the right adjustments, but no matter what I do, the light that is supposed to blink on the remote does nothing.”

    Me: “Let me have a look at this remote.”

    Customer: “I’m also fairly certain that the outlets themselves are not working.”

    (While he says that, I open up the remote control, and take out the battery.)

    Me: “Have you tried unwrapping the plastic from the battery before inserting it?”

    Customer: “You’re kidding, right? Even I wouldn’t be that stupid!”

    (I unwrap the battery before him. His mouth falls open, and he makes a face palm.”

    Customer: “No! This is not true!”

    (I insert the unwrapped battery in the remote control, and try it. The light now blinks as it’s supposed too.)

    Me: “It appears to be working now.”

    Customer: “I think I’m going to try the outlets at home. Maybe they work now, too.”

    Related:
    The Wrong Outlet For Your Problems

    When It Is Best To Step Down

    | New York, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (An infuriated customer comes into my department with a bag that has a camcorder, DVD burner and CD’s.)

    Customer: “The person who sold this told me that it only takes three easy steps to make my DVDs, but it doesn’t even work.”

    (After fumbling with the burner for awhile, I realize that there is a CD inside.)

    Me: “That’s a CD, not a DVD; those won’t work. It says, ‘Please insert a blank DVD disc’.”

    Customer: “Those are DVDs!”

    Me: “No, those are CDs. They’re different.”

    Customer: “Well, the guy told me that they would work anyway.”

    Me: “It’s odd that the guy sold you CDs with a DVD burner. Do you remember what he looked like? Maybe I can talk to him?”

    Customer: “It’s that guy over there.”

    Me: “He doesn’t work in this department. He couldn’t have sold you a DVD burner and the CDs. Well, anyway, you need DVDs to get it to work. That’s what your problem was.”

    Customer: “Show me how to work this! I don’t have the instruction manual anymore.”

    Me: “Well, it’s easy. Plug it into the wall, open the lid, insert the disc, turn it on, pick your scene and press this red button here.”

    Customer: “It said three easy steps. That’s way more than three steps!”

    Me: “I don’t think that they consider plugging it in and putting the disc in steps.”

    Some Recipes Contain No Margarine For Error

    | Melbourne, Australia | Extra Stupid

    Customer: “Hi, could you point me in the direction of the butter?”

    Me: “Of course, its just over here.”

    Customer: “Do you have these in liquid form? Like watery?”

    Me: “I’m not sure what you mean, did you want cream?”

    Customer: “No, no, like liquid butter?”

    (At this point I look at the customers shopping list, its a recipe list for pancakes and it clearly says ‘melted butter’.)

    Me: “You want to buy melted butter? You know you can just make that right?”

    Customer: “Oh really? You actually make it yourself? How do you do that?”

    Me: “You just put regular butter in a hot pan and it melts.”

    Customer: “Wow! That’s fantastic! Thank you so much!”

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