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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Miles Away From The Answer, Relatively Speaking

    | Champaign, IL, USA | Extra Stupid

    (I am filling out a credit application for a couple. We reach the question, ‘nearest living relative’.)

    Customer: *thinking for a few moments* “About 50 miles!”

    Not Remotely Intelligent, Part 4

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I am working remote control to reinstall and configure a laptop. The customer asks if I am going to install a printer.)

    Me: “Ma’am, what kind of printer is it?”

    Customer: “It’s a [printer model].”

    Me: “Let me look in the driver folder. Ah yes, here it is. I will start up the install program.”

    (The program is running, the drivers are being installed. The program now changes screen with the message, ‘PLEASE PLUG IN THE PRINTER AND POWER IT UP’.)

    Me: “Please plug in the printer and turn it on.”

    Customer: “Do you send the printer over remote control?”

    Related:
    Not Remotely Intelligent, Part 3
    Not Remotely Intelligent, Part 2
    Not Remotely Intelligent

    Nonplussed Customers

    | Dillon, CO, USA | Extra Stupid, Top

    Customer: “Something isn’t right with these two signs about the pears on sale. One says $1.00 for 1 pound, and the other says $10 for 10 pounds. Which is it?”

    Me: “Actually, ma’am, that’s the same thing.”

    Customer: “Excuse me, but I actually went to college. I think I can do basic math.”

    Me: “Let’s look at it this way. If it’s $1 for 1 pound, how much would 3 pounds be?”

    Customer: “$3.”

    Me: “Yep, and how much would 5 pounds be?”

    Customer: “$5.”

    Me: “Awesome. How much would 10 pounds be?”

    Customer: “$10.” *pause* “Those signs are misleading!” *storms off*

    Size Matters

    | Cleveland, OH, USA | Extra Stupid

    (My job is just to fold/hang the clothes from the fitting rooms and put them back. A customer comes up to me with two identical shirts.)

    Customer: “What’s the difference between a small and a medium?”

    Me: “Um, the small is smaller than the medium?”

    Customer: “I know that! Is there any other difference?”

    Me: “Not really.”

    Customer: “What kind of salesman are you? You don’t know that much about clothes.”

    Me: “I don’t sell the clothes. I just fold them.”

    Customer: “So you don’t know if there’s any difference?”

    Me: “They’re the same thing. One is just smaller.”

    (The customer hangs the medium on a rack, hangs the small in front of the medium. She compares the two shirts for a good 5 minutes before going with the small “because it’s smaller.”)

    Hopefully, The Idea Will Stick

    | Twin Falls, ID, USAUSA | Extra Stupid

    (A customer holds an  open envelope with a prepaid label on it.)

    Customer: “I don’t know how to ship it or anything.”

    Me: “Well, basically, you’re gonna want to seal it up and give it to me.”

    Customer: “How do I seal it up?”

    Me: “You peel off this strip here”.

    (I point to the peel-off backing of the adhesive strip.)

    Customer: “But how do I peel it off?”

    Me: “With your fingers?”

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