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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Not The Apple From The Tree Of Knowledge

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    Me: “Thank you for calling [mobile carrier's name]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I have an issue with my iPhone.”

    Me: “I will be happy to help you. What is the issue with your iPhone?

    Customer: “It’s just that when I turn it on, the apple on the screen appears bitten. Is that okay?”

    I Have A Sinking Feeling

    | Oak Harbor, WA, USA | Extra Stupid, Top, Tourists/Travel

    (Note: We have posters of real and fictional places on the walls.)

    Customer: “Can I book a trip there?” *points at a poster of Atlantis*

    Me: “Ma’am, that’s not a real place.”

    Customer: *angry* “Then why is it on your wall!? That confuses people!”

    Me: “We figured most people knew that there are no cities under water.”

    Customer: “You shouldn’t assume everybody is that smart!”

    IQ Phone Home

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Technology

    Me: “Hello, you’ve reached [phone support]. What appears to be the problem?”

    Caller: “Yes, I’m calling because I have been unable to make phone calls from my home phone.”

    Me: “Ma’am, what phone are you calling from right now?”

    Caller: “My home phone, why?” *pause* “Wait, you’ve fixed it! Thank you!” *hangs up*

    Miles Away From The Answer, Relatively Speaking

    | Champaign, IL, USA | Extra Stupid

    (I am filling out a credit application for a couple. We reach the question, ‘nearest living relative’.)

    Customer: *thinking for a few moments* “About 50 miles!”

    Not Remotely Intelligent, Part 4

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I am working remote control to reinstall and configure a laptop. The customer asks if I am going to install a printer.)

    Me: “Ma’am, what kind of printer is it?”

    Customer: “It’s a [printer model].”

    Me: “Let me look in the driver folder. Ah yes, here it is. I will start up the install program.”

    (The program is running, the drivers are being installed. The program now changes screen with the message, ‘PLEASE PLUG IN THE PRINTER AND POWER IT UP’.)

    Me: “Please plug in the printer and turn it on.”

    Customer: “Do you send the printer over remote control?”

    Related:
    Not Remotely Intelligent, Part 3
    Not Remotely Intelligent, Part 2
    Not Remotely Intelligent

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