Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Really Fond-a Of Rhonda

| Cleveland, OH, USA | Extra Stupid

Receptionist: “Hi, this is (company). May I direct your call?”

Caller: “Yeah, I need to speak to Rhonda.”

Receptionist: I’m sorry, but we don’t have anyone here by that name.”

Caller: “RHONDA! RHONDA! I need to talk to Rhonda!”

Receptionist: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but there is no one here named Rhonda. What department were you trying to reach?”

Caller: “The newsletter girl! I want to talk to Rhonda!”

Receptionist: “Oh, Sue is in charge of the newsletters. I can transfer you to her right now.”

Caller: “Why did she change her name?!”

Disturbingly Dense, Part 2

| Michigan, USA | Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging, Top

(We are a small hotel in an even smaller town. Because of our size, we only have housekeeping until about 1 pm. After that, the front desk can stock towels and things, but we don’t fully clean the room.)

Guest: “We left at 9:30 this morning to go out for the day. It is now 12:50 and we still don’t have maid service!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, sir. We can have housekeeping come up immediately and clean that for you.”

Guest: “Absolutely not! We will be here for an hour. Then you can get in!”

Me: “Unfortunately, sir, we do not have 24 hour housekeeping service. Housekeeping is not offered after 1 pm.”

Guest: “But we put out our sign!”

Me: “The sign on the inside of the door? Your ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign?”

(Upon saying this, the guest realizes that they are in error.)

Guest: “Well, yeah… but they should’ve know we weren’t in here!”

Me: “If there is a ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign up, sir, they are not supposed to disturb you.”

Guest: “You are incompetent! I demand to speak to a manager!”

Me: “You’re speaking to her, sir.”

Guest: *click*

Related:
Disturbingly Dense

To Hole And Back

| Montana, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

Customer: “Why do you have that swimsuit?”

Me: “My coworker found a rip in the seam of this one. I have to fill out a sheet so we can send it back.”

(The customer grabs the swimsuit from my hands.)

Customer: “This is my size! Don’t you dare send it back! I need it!”

Me: “Well, ma’am, this one has a hole in it. I’m sure we have more swimsuits in your size—”

Customer: “Not this color! You just don’t want me to have it!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but there is a fairly large hole here…”

(I show her by putting my fingers through the hole. It’s large enough to fit 3 fingers.)

Customer: “I don’t care about a stupid hole. I’m buying this!”

(The customer buys the suit despite my explanation. The next day, the she comes back while I am working the return counter.)

Customer: “I want my money back! This stupid swimsuit you sold me has a giant hole in it!”

Me: *speechless*

Dumbing On Empty

| New Jersey, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

(I am a cashier at a popular home improvement store, and on this particular day I am working refunds. A customer comes into the store pushing in a new ride-on lawn mower.)

Me: “Good morning, what can I do for you today?”

Customer: “Your incompetent associates sold me this tractor, and it doesn’t even work! I demand a refund?”

Me: “No problem, sir. May I see your receipt?”

Customer: “I don’t have my receipt, but I bought it yesterday. All I want to do is get another, and I need it NOW!”

Me: “Well, I need to call an associate from the department to see what is wrong with the tractor. Maybe it can easily be fixed.”

(I phone a season associate and he comes over to look at the tractor. He proceeds to ask the customer what is wrong with it.)

Customer: “I spent thousands of dollars on this. You…” *points to seasonal associate* “…sold me this piece of s***! I turned the key and it doesn’t even turn on!”

Other Associate: “Sir, there’s no gas in it.”

Customer: “Of course there’s no gas in it! Give me a working one NOW!”

Other Associate: “It needs gas to run. You know, like a car.”

(The customer angrily argues that gas will not fix the problem and refuses to listen. My fellow associate takes it outside, puts gas in it and it starts right away. The other associate walks in alone and the customer drives off with his working tractor.)

Me: “Is it going to be that kind of day?”

Other Associate: “Yep, I think so. Put gas in it and it’s working just fine. Guy was too embarrassed to come in and apologize!”

Incredibly Incognito

| Livingston, NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

(I’ve been called to the registers, where a customer has been causing a scene because our cashier cannot find a book she ordered.)

Me: “Sorry for the inconvenience, ma’am. Did you receive a phone call that your order was in?”

Customer: “No! But I ordered it a month ago and the salesperson told me it would only take about five days. I knew that girl was an idiot!”

Cashier: “I searched all over and I can’t find a book under her name. There isn’t even a record of it in our system.”

Me: “Is it possible you ordered it at a different store? We wouldn’t—”

Customer: “NO! Stop asking me stupid questions and find my d***ed book!”

Me: “What was the title of the book? I can try to find your order that way.”

Customer: “It was [title of book]. Honestly, I can’t believe how incompetent you people are. No wonder everyone shops online these days. I’d look into it myself, but I never give out my personal information. Anyway, can you believe it’s been A MONTH?! What kind of business are you running, anyway? Frankly, I don’t think I should have to pay for it.”

Me: “Well, someone did place an order for that book, but the name doesn’t match yours and it was only two days ago.”

Customer: “That’s it! That’s my order!”

Me: “But the name isn’t yours, and there’s a completely different home address and phone number.”

Customer: “Are you deaf?! I just told you I never give my personal information out!”

Me: “Wait, so if you used a different name and phone number, why didn’t you give us that information instead?”

Customer: “I made it up! You people are always asking for information. How am I supposed to remember what I told you?!”

Me: “You also said you ordered it a month ago.”

Customer: “Oh, am I supposed to keep track of how long it’s been?! You want me to do your WHOLE job for you?! I don’t care! I just want the book!”

Me: “You also called us incompetent. Repeatedly.”

Customer: “You shouldn’t live in the past so much. It’ll give you wrinkles!”

Related:
Combo Incognito
Indecisively Incognito
Rejection Incognito
Photo Incognito
Unraveling Incognito
Complaining Incognito

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