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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Simple Menus Vs. The Simple-Minded

    , | Australia | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (Our shop has a very basic menu of chicken burgers, chips, and chicken pieces.)

    Me: “Hi, how are you today?”

    Customer: “I don’t know what this is…”

    (The customer stares blankly at the menu for about 10 seconds.)

    Customer: “No. No! I don’t know what any of this is!” *walks away*

    Me: *speechless*

    Fried Brain Fried Cakes

    | Pennsylvania, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Top

    (I work in the kosher deli section of a supermarket.)

    Customer: “I need ten potato pancakes, please.”

    (There are only four potato pancakes in the display case. I check the cooler, but there are no more in there.)

    Me: “Please excuse me, ma’am, but we only have four potato pancakes right now. I’m going to call my manager to see if we have any more in the back.”

    (I call my manager. Unfortunately, the four potato pancakes in my case are the only ones in the store. We are all out. I relay this fact to the customer.)

    Customer: “Could you please make some more? We have company coming over later and I need at least ten potato pancakes.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we don’t make the potato pancakes here. We buy them pre-made from another company and we don’t have any more in stock right now.”

    Customer: “But can’t you just go in the back and make some more?”

    Me: “No, ma’am, I cannot. As I said, we don’t make them here. We buy them pre-made from another company.”

    Customer: “I understand that, but can’t you just make more?”

    Me: “No, ma’am, I cannot. We buy them pre-made. We don’t make them here.”

    Customer: “Yeah, I get that, but why won’t you just make more?”

    Me: “Ma’am, we do not make them here. We buy them pre-made from another company. I don’t have a kitchen in the back because there is no in-back for this section, and even if there was, I don’t have the ingredients.”

    Customer: “Yes, I know, but why won’t you make more of them?”

    (At this point, the customer’s husband walks up.)

    Husband: “What’s going on?”

    Customer: “He’ll only sell me those four pancakes in the case. He won’t make any more!”

    Husband: “Why won’t you make any more?”

    Me: “Sir, I’m very sorry, but as I explained to your wife, we do not make the potato pancakes here in the store. We buy them pre-made from another company. We’re actually not allowed to cook any hot food in this section, as it would be a health code violation.”

    Customer: “I know that, but why won’t you make more?”

    (The customer’s husband looks at her like she’s crazy.)

    Husband: “Honey, they buy the potato pancakes already made from somewhere else. They don’t cook them here.”

    Customer: “I know that! Why won’t they make more?!”

    Husband: “Honey, shut up.” *turns to me* “I’m very sorry. Can we just have the four potato pancakes in the display?”

    Me: “Sure thing, sir.”

    Unnatural Selection

    | New Jersey, USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

    (A woman is purchasing a long fish called a dojo loach.)

    Customer: “Now, will I need to fill the tank halfway and add some sand for it to crawl onto?”

    Me: “No, ma’am, it’s a fish.”

    Customer: *stares in confused silence*

    Me: “Fish don’t need to crawl onto land to breathe.”

    Customer: “What do you mean?”

    Me: “It will be fine in a full aquarium.”

    Customer: “You’d better be right!” *leaves looking dissatisfied*

    No Country For Old (Wo)men

    | USA | Extra Stupid

    (I am on the phone helping a woman with her account.)

    Me: “Lastly, before we continue, I need some additional information. What is your country of citizenship?”

    Customer: “New York.”

    Me: “Right, your state is New York. What is your country?”

    Customer: “Oh! Manhattan.”

    Me: “Manhattan is not a country, it’s an island. What country are you a citizen of?”

    Customer: “I’m not. New York. Manhattan. I don’t know.”

    Me: “So, you pledge allegiance to the flag of…?”

    Customer: “I don’t know! Hold on.”

    (I can hear her asking a woman near her.)

    Customer: “My friend doesn’t know either!”

    As Thick As Pea Soup

    | Ohio, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    Me: “Thank you for calling technical support. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I was calling because I am having some troubles.”

    Me: “And what troubles are you having?”

    Customer: “I don’t know how much water goes into my soup.”

    (I’m about to tell her she can’t call us for stuff like this, until I realize it would be so much easier to just help her.)

    Me: “Ma’am, are there directions anywhere on the side?”

    Customer: “Oh, right.” *hangs up*

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