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  • Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Let’s Address How You’re Even Dressing Yourself

    , | Seattle, WA, USA | Extra Stupid

    (A customer in her mid-30s approaches me. Note that we use the same standard sizing that is commonly found in other clothing stores.)

    Customer: “Excuse me.”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Customer: “What size am I?”

    Me: “Well, what size clothes are you wearing right now?”

    Customer: “I don’t know. That’s why I’m asking you.”

    Me: “Well, why don’t we get you a size that looks right and you try those on?”

    Customer: “And then what?”

    Me: “If they’re too big, then you try on the size that’s smaller until you find the right one.”

    Customer: “Great idea. Thank you!”

    Disturbingly Dense

    | MA, USA | Extra Stupid

    (I’m working the day shift at a hotel. One day, I get a page from the front desk.)

    Coworker: “This is going to seem like a weird request.”

    Me: “Okay, what’s up?”

    Coworker: “Well, the lady in room [#] needs you to show her how to use the ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign.”

    Me: “You’re kidding, right?”

    Coworker: *laughs* “I’m afraid not.”

    (I go to the guest’s room and knock on her door. A lady in her 50s comes to the door holding a little cardboard ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign.)

    Guest: “How do I work this?”

    (I take the sign and put it on the door handle.)

    Guest: “Oh, so that’s how that thing works!”

    Now, Wait Just A New York Minute

    | USA | Extra Stupid

    (I work in a call center taking customer care calls for cell phones.)

    Me: “Welcome to [store]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I am going to Ireland and I want to know the per minute rate.”

    Me: “Yes, thats no problem. The per minute rate to Ireland is $0.99 per minute.”

    Customer: “Is that an Irish minute or an American minute?”

    Me: *confused* “Miss, a minute is a minute no matter where you are.”

    Customer: “No, it’s not! You’re just trying to get my bill higher than it should be! I will report you to the BBB!”

    Thank You, Please Call Again

    | Deschutes, OR, USA | Extra Stupid

    Caller: “Why don’t you have your phone number listed on your site? I hunted all over the place for it. I finally had to call information to get the number!”

    Me: “With all due respect sir, we do have the number on the site.”

    Caller: “You do not! And I still have the page up on the screen on my computer. I can prove it!”

    Me: “You do? Sir, could you please do me a favor and go look at our page on the screen?”

    Caller: “Well, fine, but I don’t see where that’s going to help any!”

    Me: “Sir, please…if anything, just humor me. Please go look at our page on your computer.”

    Caller: “Well, okay. I am here now. What did you want to show me?!”

    Me: “Look at the beginning of the page. It’s in great big bold letters, right about eye level. Please tell me, what does it say?”

    Caller: “It says, ‘To Contact Us, Please Call 877-77…”

    *pause*

    Caller: *hangs up*

    Yes, Master

    | Denver, CO, USA | Extra Stupid, Funny Names

    Me: “I would be happy to process that payment for you today. First, could I have the name exactly how it appears on the card?”

    Customer: “Master Card.”

    Me: “Oh, no, I’m sorry. I am looking for the human’s name that is on the card.”

    Customer: “Capital One.”

    Me: “No, not that one; the human’s name that is on the card.”

    Customer: “I already told you, it’s Master Card!”

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