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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Here Today, (Not) Gone Tomorrow

    , | Melbourne, Australia | Extra Stupid

    (A man approaches the counter.)

    Me: “Hello, sir, what can I get for you today?”

    Customer: “Yes, I was wondering what days you guys are closed.”

    Me: “We’re open everyday.”

    Customer: “Yes, but which days aren’t you open?”

    Me: “None. We are open every day.”

    Customer: *irritated* “Are you deaf? Which days AREN’T you open?”

    Me: “Sir, we are open on days that end with the letter Y.”

    Customer: “Right! So you’re open 4 days a week! Why didn’t you just say that?”

    Pay Me Up, Scotty

    | South Carolina, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

    Caller: “I would like to make a reservation.”

    Me: “Sure, we require a one night advance deposit to reserve a room. What type of card will you be using?”

    Caller: “I would like to pay that in cash.”

    Me: “I am sorry, sir. I am unable to take a cash payment over the phone.”

    Caller: “I called yesterday and was told that you accept cash.”

    Me: “That is correct, sir, we do accept cash. However you must be present to pay cash.”

    Caller: “But I have the cash right here!”

    Me: “I am sorry, sir, I am unable to take cash through the phone. I will either need a credit card number, or you are more than welcome to come to the hotel when you arrive and pay cash.”

    Caller: “Ugh, fine. Here is my credit card number!”

    Related:
    Fax Me Up, Scotty

    3D Or Not, Time Is Still Linear

    | California, USA | Extra Stupid

    (I work in a box office at a movie theater.)

    Customer: “Is there a non-3D showing of Green Hornet at 6:45?”

    Me: “No, it’s at 8:00.”

    Customer: “When’s the next non-3D one?”

    Me: “8:00.”

    Customer: “There’s not one at 6:45?”

    Me: “No, it’s at 8:00.”

    Customer: “Oh…I looked up the 3D show instead of the regular one. So, wait, when’s the next non-3D showing of Green Hornet?”

    Me: “8:00…”

    Mentally Closed Down

    | Goodyear, AZ, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (It’s a little after 10:00 PM and two customers walk in.)

    Me: “Welcome to [restaurant]! Two tonight?”

    Customer: “Are you about to close?”

    Me: “No, we are open 24 hours.”

    Customer: “Oh…” *to his friend* “Let’s go then, dude.”

    Forget You, And Forget Me Too

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Extra Stupid

    (I work at a gym and recreational facility that requires a membership.)

    Customer: “Hi, I have a question about my membership payment.”

    Me: “Okay, are you on the annual or quarterly payment system.”

    Customer: “I don’t know.”

    Me: “On the bills you get from us, is it for $350 or $1400?”

    Customer: “I don’t know.”

    Me: “Okay, if you can give me your name and phone number, I can make sure our billing person looks up your payment and then contacts you.”

    Customer: “I don’t know my phone number…”

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