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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Blame A Lack Of Concentration

    | Alberta, Canada | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

    Customer: “Excuse me.”

    Me: “Can I help you?”

    Customer: “I’m trying to return this orange juice.”

    Me: “What seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “It’s brown.”

    Me: “Oh, wow. When did you purchase it?”

    Customer: “The 19th of this month.” *hands me her receipt*

    Me: “Miss, this receipt says you purchased this orange juice on the 19th of last year. You bought this 367 days ago.”

    Customer: “Yes, and it’s gone brown. I’d like a refund.”

    Me: “Did it not occur to you that orange juice would expire over the course of the year?”

    Customer: “I thought if I waited until the 19th of the month again, it would be okay.”

    Don’t Bet On This One

    | Canterbury, UK | Extra Stupid

    Customer: “Wow, this wheel spins around and I think you put a ball in it.”

    Me: “Yes madam, it’s a roulette wheel.”

    Customer: “And what’s the point. Do you have to guess the numbers?”

    Me: “Some people actually bet on the outcome as well.”

    Customer: “That’s an awesome idea. They should have those in casinos!”

    Behaving With Dis-Stain

    | Montreal, QC, Canada | Extra Stupid

    (When clothing comes out of the packaging, we steam it to remove the wrinkles before we put it on the sales floor. A customer picks up a shirt that I have just finished steaming.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, do you know what this stain is? Will it come out in the wash?”

    Me: “It’s water, from the steamer. Just give it a few minutes to dry, and the stain will be gone.”

    Customer: “I don’t have a few minutes. If I take it home and wash it, can I return it if the stain doesn’t come out?”

    Me: “No ma’am. Once the article has been washed we can no longer return it. It’s just water, I can assure you.”

    Customer: “Well, then can you wash it here?”

    (I go and soak it in the sink in our stock room, and hand the sopping wet shirt to the client.)

    Customer: “I asked you to wash it! Instead you just made the stain bigger!”

    H2Slow, Part 2

    | Victoria, BC, Canada | Extra Stupid, Math & Science

    (I’m watering plants in my aisle when a customer approaches me.)

    Customer: “Are these real?”

    Me: “Yes they are.” * continues pouring water*

    Customer: “Really?”

    Me: “I’m watering them, miss.”

    Customer: “Doesn’t mean they’re real.”

    Related:
    H2Slow

    Sweet Candy, Bitter Purchase

    | North Dakota, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

    (The grocery store has an ongoing deal where a gas coupon for 6 cents off per gallon prints at the bottom of the receipt. The minimum purchase is $30 before tax.)

    Me: “Your total comes to $29.76 before tax.”

    Customer: “It says it’s $30 there!”

    Me: “That’s after tax, sir. The coupon won’t print out unless you spend $30 before tax. If you add a candy bar, maybe?”

    Customer: “It says $30!”

    (He pays for the groceries.)

    Customer: “Where’s my coupon?”

    Me: “Like I told you, it didn’t come to $30 before tax. I told you that if you add a candy bar onto it–”

    Customer: “Well, ring me up for a candy bar and give me my coupon!”

    Me: “It doesn’t work like that, sir. It has to be $30 all at once.”

    Customer: “You’ve got extra coupons back here, don’t you!? Just give me an extra one!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but the coupons print at the bottom of receipts. We don’t have them to hand out. They will only print out when you purchase enough items.”

    Customer: “Get me a coupon! I have a d*** candy bar!”

    Me: “I can refund your entire order and then ring it up again with the candy bar. You’ll get the coupon that way, but your card might show a double charge for a brief period of time.”

    Customer: “I don’t care! Do it!”

    (I refund his entire purchase and then ring it up again, this time with a candy bar, putting his subtotal over $30. The 6-cent gas coupon prints out at the bottom. Satisfied, the man leaves.)

    Coworker: “You know that guy doesn’t even own a car, right? He only has a bike.”


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