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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    As Thick As Pea Soup

    | Ohio, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    Me: “Thank you for calling technical support. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I was calling because I am having some troubles.”

    Me: “And what troubles are you having?”

    Customer: “I don’t know how much water goes into my soup.”

    (I’m about to tell her she can’t call us for stuff like this, until I realize it would be so much easier to just help her.)

    Me: “Ma’am, are there directions anywhere on the side?”

    Customer: “Oh, right.” *hangs up*

    You Didn’t Hear It Foam Me

    , | Hamilton, New Zealand | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I am explaining to a customer that his cellphone is not covered under warranty because is suffering from water damage.)

    Customer: “But I didn’t get it wet!”

    Me: “You told me you took it to the foam night party at the local bar.”

    Customer: “Yes, but that’s foam, not liquid.”

    Me: “Did you notice that you came out wet, though?”

    Customer: “Yes, but it’s not water! How can it be liquid damage?!”

    The Lost And Eaten

    , | Kansas City, MO, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (Sometimes, customers call the store when their order is wrong. This one was a little bit more special.)

    Manager: “How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “I didn’t get my food!”

    Manager: “What do you mean?”

    Customer: “When I came through the drive-thru, I got my food. But when I got home it was gone!”

    Manager: “Let me get this straight. You got your food at the window?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Manager: “And it was in your car when you left?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Manager: “And it was gone when you got home?”

    Customer: “It wasn’t there anymore.”

    Manager: “So between here and home, you lost your food? How do you expect us to fix it?”

    Customer: *hangs up*

    Seats Are All ‘Bout Location, Location, Location

    | Hollywood, CA, USA | Extra Stupid

    Me: “Thank you for calling Hollywood Bowl audience services. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “I need help finding my seat on the seating map.”

    Me: “Sure, what seats are they?”

    Customer: “Okay, well, these seats are in section E, row Z, seat 114.”

    Me: “Um, section E isn’t set up that way. The rows go in numbers, and the highest seat in that section is seat 47.”

    Customer: “So, I can just go to the box office and they can figure it out from there?”

    Me: “I guess so, but that row and those seats don’t exist at the Hollywood Bowl.”

    Customer: “Well, these are seats for the Santa Barbara Bowl. Is that the same as the Hollywood Bowl?”

    Me: “No. No, it’s not.”

    Customer: “Oh, so where’s the Santa Barbara Bowl?”

    Me: “I would assume in Santa Barbara.”

    Destination Or Bust

    , | New Zealand | Extra Stupid

    (I work in the call center for a road side assistance company in New Zealand. When members run out of fuel, we can bring it out to them, but they must pay for the fuel.)

    Me: “Welcome to road service, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “I’m out of fuel and I’m in the middle of [remote mountain pass].”

    Me: “That’s fine, we can find you. Do you have money for the fuel?”

    Customer: “Of course not! If I had money, I would have filled-up before I started on my trip, you idiot!”

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