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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    More Than You Bargained For, Part 3

    | Perth, Western Australia, Australia | Extra Stupid

    (The prepaid phones we sell are displayed on a wall, with their price printed next to each phone.)

    Customer: “Hey mate, how much is that phone there?”

    Me: *glancing at pricing card* “One hundred fifty nine dollars.”

    Customer: “Can you do it for one sixty?”

    Me: *speechless*

    Customer: *looks at me expectantly*

    Me: “Sure, why not?”

    Related:
    More Than You Bargained For, Part 2
    More Than You Bargained For

    Silly Boy, Stamps Are For Muggles

    | Ontario, Canada | Extra Stupid

    (A customer comes to my till with two boxes of envelopes.)

    Me: “Do you need stamps for your envelopes?”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “Do you need stamps for your envelopes?”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “Do you need stamps?”

    Customer: *stares*

    Me: “For your envelopes?”

    Customer: “What are stamps?”

    Me: “Mailing stamps…for your envelopes.”

    Customer: *stares*

    Me: “To mail your envelopes.”

    Customer: “Oh. No.”

    The Real Reason For Head-On Collisions

    , | Stockton, CA, USA | Extra Stupid

    (I am a claims adjuster talking to a driver recently involved in a car accident. I am asking him questions to hear his side of the story of what happened.)

    Me: “So there are 3 lanes on this highway? Were you in the left, middle, or right lane?”

    Driver: “The right lane.”

    (The police report indicates differently.)

    Me: “Are you sure you are in the right lane?”

    Driver: *thinking* “No, no, I was in the LEFT lane! You see, I’m left-handed, so everything is reversed for me.”

    SASS: Subtle Artificial Sassy Server

    | Pennsylvania, USA | Extra Stupid

    (I’m working the cash register at an arcade. This arcade is known for having an animatronic band that performs.)

    Me: “Hi, can I help you?”

    Customer: “Medium pizza, pepperoni on half…” *mumbles and trails off*

    Me: “Can you please repeat that last part?”

    Customer: *mumbles*

    Me: “I’m sorry, a medium pizza with pepperoni on half and what else?”

    Customer, to his son: “Now look at how cheap this technology is. It can’t even tell what I’m saying! D*** robots.”

    Me: “Um…sir? Is there a problem?”

    Guest, to his son: “Look! It can tell I’m a man. Maybe this hunk of metal isn’t that bad. It does look pretty real. I just wonder why they didn’t make it thinner and cuter.”

    Me: “Oh, thanks. Maybe it’s ’cause I’m not a robot?”

    Customer: “Sure you’re not.”

    (He later gets into an argument with a manager and accuses him of being a robot. He then tries to “ruin the scrap metal” by throwing a glass of water at him.)

    Let’s Hope This Apple Fell Far From The Tree

    | Michigan, USA | Extra Stupid

    (I am a secretary at a local academy.)

    Me: “[School name], how may I help you?”

    Customer: “I’m interested in signing my kid up for classes. He’s 16. So, when are they held?”

    Me: “We have classes everyday, except for Tuesdays at 6:30 pm.”

    Customer: “No, that’s too much information for me to process. Is there someone else I can talk to?”

    Me: “Um, well, you could call another secretary.”

    Customer: “I don’t think I want to bring my child to a class that starts in the dark. That’s just too much information!”

    Me: “Well, we have a website, but it will say the same thing–”

    Customer: “Can I call someone else? You gave me too much complicated information and I can’t absorb it all!”

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