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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Social Notworking

    , | Arizona, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, School

    Me: “Good morning! ASU Information.”

    Caller: “Umm, yeah, hi. Where am I?”

    Me: “You have reached the ASU information desk. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “No. I mean, like, where am I?”

    Me: “Could you be more specific please?”

    Caller: “Dude, I don’t know where I am. Can you find me?”

    Me: “Are there people near you?”

    Caller: “Um, yeah.”

    Me: “Do any of them know where you are?”

    Caller: “How do I find that out?”

    Me: “Walk up to one of them, smile, and ask them if they know where you are.”

    Caller: “Okay, thanks!” *fumbling around, muffled talking, phone beeping* “You are so awesome; it worked! Thanks!”

    Nothing Outlasts The Criticizer

    | Gulfport, MS, USA | Extra Stupid

    Customer: “I want to return these batteries.”

    (She puts an opened pack of batteries on the counter.)

    Me: “Oh, so they didn’t work?”

    Customer: “Yeah, they worked for a few weeks, but now they’e broken. They’re not supposed to expire until 2015!”

    Me: “Ma’am, that’s a ‘best if used by’ date, not an expiration date.”

    Customer: “So?”

    Me: “Batteries die. It’s just saying that you should use them before this date, not that they will last for 3 years.”

    Customer: “You mean I have to buy more batteries?!”

    This Apple Fell Far From Its Tree, Part 2

    | Boston, MA, USA | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids

    (I work at a museum catering to children. A man and his son are examining our electronic magnifier, which has clear instructions in large type right next to it.)

    Dad: *yanking and knocking on machine* “How does this stupid thing work?!”

    Son: “Well, did you read the directions?”

    Dad: “What directions?!”

    Son: “The words under that big sign that says ‘Directions’.”

    Related:
    This Apple Fell Far From Its Tree

    You Can’t Fix Stupid

    | Alberta, Canada | Extra Stupid

    (I am calling back a customer who had a 6-year-old TV with a cracked screen. Unfortunately, due to its age, we can no longer get parts for it.)

    Me: “Hello, we’d like to let you know that unfortunately we are unable to repair your product. The parts are discontinued.”

    Customer: “So, you can’t fix it?”

    Me: “Correct.”

    Customer: “So you can fix it?”

    Me: “No, the parts are unavailable.”

    Customer: “Can you order them?”

    Me: “No, the parts are discontinued.”

    Customer: “You can order them somewhere else, yes?”

    Me: “No, we cannot fix this unit at all.”

    Customer: “Does [brand name] carry the part?”

    Me: “No, they don’t.”

    Customer: “Okay, so you can get it fixed, right? Test it again?”

    Me: “No, we cannot fix it.”

    Customer: “So it can’t be fixed?”

    Me: “It cannot be fixed, ever, unfortunately.”

    Customer: “Okay, I’ll call you back when it’s done!” *click*

    Onerously Ordered Orders

    | New York, USAaUK | Extra Stupid

    (I’m making coffee orders and bringing them to the end of the bar.)

    Me: “Order ready! I have a tea, latte, and cappuccino.”

    (I offer the order to the customer at the front of queue.)

    Customer: “No, they aren’t mine. I ordered a latte, cappuccino, and tea!”

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