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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    I Only Speak Sale

    | Redding, CA, USA | Extra Stupid

    Customer: “What does ‘repackage’ mean?”

    Me: “It means that an item has been re-packaged.”

    Customer: “What does that mean?”

    Me: “It means that the item is no longer in the original packaging that it came in. It’s either because it was a return, or because the packaging got destroyed.”

    Customer: “What does that mean?”

    Me: “It means that we have discounted it for you to compensate for the missing package.”

    Customer: “What does that mean?”

    Me: “It means that the item is cheaper now than it was originally.”

    Customer: “What does that mean?”

    Me: “It means that it’s on clearance.”

    Customer: “Oh! Why didn’t you just say that?”

    A Sign You’ve Gone Overboard Drinking

    | Dublin, Ireland | Extra Stupid

    (Two elderly men are sitting at the bar and are quite drunk. I overhear this part of their conversation.)

    Customer #1: “Was it you or your brother who was drowned at sea?”

    Customer #2: *pauses a few moments* “I think it must have been John. He’s the one that worked on the fishing boat.”

    The Lights Are Out But Somebody’s Home

    | Hartford, Connecticut, USA | Extra Stupid

    (This is in the middle of a storm that knocked out the power of over a million people.)

    Me: “[Company] plumbing and heating. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, my hot water heater is broken.”

    Me: “Okay, is it gas, oil, or electric?”

    Customer: “Electric.”

    Me: “All right. Because of the storm, I won’t be able to get there until tomorrow morning.”

    Customer: “Are you kidding me? I don’t have any lights and now I won’t get any hot water, either?”

    Me:“I’m sorry. What do you mean you don’t have any lights?”

    Customer: “My power’s out. Now you expect me to go without hot water too?”

    Me: “If your water heater is electric, it isn’t broken. It won’t work if your power’s out.”

    Customer: “So, fix it!”

    Me: “I’m a plumber, not electrician.”

    Customer: “So, give me another type of heater!”

    Me: “Do you have a natural gas line or oil tank I could connect it to?”

    Customer: “No, I have electric.”

    Me: “If you don’t have oil or gas, what am I supposed to hook the new heater up to?”

    Customer: “I don’t know! You’re the plumber. You figure it out!”

    The Freudian Drive-thru

    | Dallas, TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (This is an ice cream shop with a drive-thru.)

    Me: “Hi, what can I get for you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, two burgers with bacon.”

    Me: “Sir, we actually don’t have burgers…just ice cream.”

    (Upon hearing this, the customer looks up to see the burger chain next door.)

    Customer: “How did I end up in this line?!”

    We Need Signs In Stupid

    | Calgary, Canada | Extra Stupid

    (I am working at the security entrance of the airport. Baggage carts are not allowed into the gate area. I see a gentleman approaching with a cart and it doesn’t look like he is about to store it in the rack. Sure enough, he comes up to the entrance with his cart.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but the cart is not allowed in the secure area. Please put it in the rack provided.”

    Passenger: “Well, there’s no sign.”

    (I point to one of the two signs framing our door clearly depicting a cart with a red circle and line running through it, indicating the cart was banned.)

    Passenger: “Well, it’s not in English!”

    Me: “Sir, it’s a pictograph. It’s supposed to be easily recognized and understood no matter what language you speak.”

    Passenger: “IT’S STILL NOT IN ENGLISH!”

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