Featured Story:
  • Always Time For A Rhyme
    (2,153 thumbs up)
  • Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Outfoxed By The Xerox

    | Sacramento, CA, USA | Extra Stupid

    Customer: “Hello, can you get someone to make copies for me?”

    Me: “I can make copies for you, ma’am! What would you like copied?”

    Customer: *stares at me for several seconds*

    Me: “Ma’am?”

    Customer: *keeps staring silently*

    Me: “What would you like copied, ma’am?”

    Customer: “OH! You want me to GIVE you the documents?!”

    Adamant, If A Bit Addled

    | Cartersville, GA, USA | Extra Stupid

    (I’m a fuel clerk at a large chain grocery store’s gas station. One evening a morbidly obese redneck woman was having trouble getting her pump to work. She wanted to get a fuel injection cleaner (additech) added into her gasoline, but had no clue what she was doing. After swiping a credit card, the pump’s computer screen automatically asks the customer if they want to buy additech. The conversation went like this.)

    Me: “Hey, how are you doing today?”

    Customer: *mouth full of tobacco* “I wanna get some of that Additech stuff!”

    Me: “Alright, after swiping your card the pump will ask if you want to purchase Additech. Press ‘Yes.’ Since you are driving a truck, you will select the $9.99 price by pressing the ’2′ key on the screen.”

    Customer: “I wanna get me some of that Additech stuff!”

    Me: “I understand, ma’am. Please just swipe your card and follow the prompts.”

    Customer: “I WANNA GET SOME F***ING ADDITECH STUFF!” *spits out a glob of tobacco* “Why the f*** won’t you get me some of that f***ing Additech stuff?!”

    Me: “Ma’am, please calm down. Would you like me to show you how?”

    (Frustrated, the customer begins yelling to the other customers in line.)

    Customer: “I’m not retarded! He said I’m retarded!”

    Me: “Ma’am, let me show you.”

    (I walk out to the pump, swipe her card, and as predicted the Additech screen comes up. I set her pump up, and she fills her truck. Afterwards, I come back to my register. A minute later, Ms. Additech comes back.)

    Customer: “What is Additech anyway? DOES IT MAKE YOUR CAR GO BETTER?!”

    Just Point And Spook

    | Michigan, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    Customer: *hands me a photo* “Hello there. Can you help me scan and make duplicates of a photo?”

    Me: “Sure thing! We just use this scanner here—”

    (At that moment, I look at photo and notice a white camera strap taking up half the photo. I can see the camera’s brand name on the strap, blurred but readable.)

    Me: “Uh, excuse me? Are you sure you want to scan this photo? It seems the camera strap got caught in the lens.”

    Customer: “Really? I didn’t notice that. Where is it?”

    Me: “Right here, ma’am.” *points at the camera strap*

    Customer: “HOW DARE YOU! That’s the spirit of my grandfather! How can you even claim it is a camera strap!?! You are just a terrible employee!” *storms off*

    Happy Order-Dependence Day

    | Great Neck, NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Holidays

    (A patient wants to reschedule their appointment. Since she’s said she’s unavailable at every time I’ve given her, I suggest she let me know when she’s available.)

    Patient: “How about July 4th? I could come in at 1:00.”

    Me: “Well, we’re closed for the holiday.”

    Patient: “What holiday? There’s no holiday then!

    (Before I can answer, she figures it out.)

    Patient: “Oh…wait. July 4th must be the 4th of July!”

    Related:
    The Fourth Is Not Strong With This One

    He Has An Alco-huh Problem

    | Canberra, Australia | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (A man in his 40s walks in to the store. He’s carrying an empty 750ml bottle of bourbon, and places it on the counter.)

    Customer: “I want a refund on this bottle of bourbon. It was off.”

    Coworker: “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t refund that one as the bottle is empty.”

    Customer: “But I even brought the receipt back.” *waves receipt*

    Coworker: “I’m terribly sorry, sir. As the bottle is empty, we cannot refund it. If I may, sir, what made you think the bottle of bourbon was off?”

    Customer: “I drank it last night and it made me throw up.”

    Coworker: “I am terribly sorry for that, but what happened to the rest of the bottle?”

    Customer: “I told you! I drank the whole bottle last night, and it made me feel dizzy and throw up! It was clearly off!”

    Page 180/228First...178179180181182...Last