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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Weeding Out The Dumb Ones

    | Cleveland, OH, USA | Extra Stupid

    (I take calls about various do-it-yourself products for lawn and garden and insect control.)

    Me: “How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Your product is defective!”

    Me: “Okay, what product?”

    Customer: “[Brand name] weed and grass killer!”

    Me: “Okay, what is the problem?”

    Customer: “It killed my grass!”

    Me: “Um, it is weed and grass killer.”

    Customer: “Yes, but it doesn’t say good grass!”

    Me: “You’re right. However, grass covers all grass types.”

    Customer: “Well, it should say on the label it kills good grass.”

    Me: “Actually, it does on the back. It lists all the grasses it kills, and your grass is listed.”

    Customer: “Well, it should tell you to read the label before use!”

    Me: “Actually, it does. See that stop sign on the back?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Me: “And right after, it says read entire label before use.”

    Customer: “Well, it should say it on the front so I can see it!”

    Me: “I’ll put your request into corporate…”

    Related:
    Customer: Impossible
    Customer: Impossible, Part 2

    1 Part Bleach To 100 Parts Stupidity

    | Avondale, PA, USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals, Top

    Me: “How are you today? I’m told you needed help with fish?”

    Customer: “Yeah, all my fish died after I cleaned my tank yesterday. My husband says that it may have had to do with me using bleach, but I told him he was wrong.”

    Me: “Well, actually he is right. Bleach leaves residue on the glass. Even after rinsing it, that can kill the fish.”

    Customer: “But I didn’t even rinse it.”

    Me: “What did you do, then?”

    Customer: “I just added it to the water. How could that kill them?”

    Aging Is A Zero Sum Game

    | Quebec City, Quebec, Canada | Extra Stupid

    (Our store has an aisle with toys as well as celebration stuff for birthdays, including candles for birthday cakes. I am filling up this aisle when a lady in her late 50′s comes up to me.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, do you carry candles that are numbers?”

    Me: “Yes, let me show you.”

    (I show her the candles we have, from 0 to 9.)

    Customer: “Oh, they don’t carry 55. My husband is going to be 55.”

    (I think she’s joking, and laugh a little.)

    Me: “Well, you can just buy two 5′s, and that’ll make 55.”

    Customer: *disgusted* “I don’t know why they hired you!” *leaves without buying anything*

    Less Social, More Security

    | USA | Extra Stupid

    (I am on working the register during a busy day and the line is building up fast. I have finished ringing up a customer and am gathering some information.)

    Me: “And can I have your zip code, please?”

    Customer: “Sure, it’s [zip code].”

    Me: “All right, and a phone number?”

    (The customer rattles off a number that sounds exactly like a social security number.)

    Me: “Um, sir, that sounds like it would be your social security number.”

    Customer: “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “You tricked me into giving you my social security number!”

    Me: *speechless*

    Size Matters, Part 5

    | Destin, FL, USA | Extra Stupid

    (I work at the photo counter of a major retailer. This happens almost everyday.)

    Me: “Hello, how can I help you today?”

    Customer: “I was wondering how big is an 8 x 10 photo?”

    Me: *holding up fingers to approximate size* “About this big.”

    Customer: “So, how big is that?”

    Me: “It’s 8 inches by 10 inches.”

    Customer: “So, will that fit in a 4 x 6 frame?”

    Related:
    Size Matters, Part 4
    Size Matters, Part 3
    Size Matters, Part 2
    Size Matters

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