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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    1 Part Bleach To 100 Parts Stupidity

    | Avondale, PA, USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals, Top

    Me: “How are you today? I’m told you needed help with fish?”

    Customer: “Yeah, all my fish died after I cleaned my tank yesterday. My husband says that it may have had to do with me using bleach, but I told him he was wrong.”

    Me: “Well, actually he is right. Bleach leaves residue on the glass. Even after rinsing it, that can kill the fish.”

    Customer: “But I didn’t even rinse it.”

    Me: “What did you do, then?”

    Customer: “I just added it to the water. How could that kill them?”

    Aging Is A Zero Sum Game

    | Quebec City, Quebec, Canada | Extra Stupid

    (Our store has an aisle with toys as well as celebration stuff for birthdays, including candles for birthday cakes. I am filling up this aisle when a lady in her late 50′s comes up to me.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, do you carry candles that are numbers?”

    Me: “Yes, let me show you.”

    (I show her the candles we have, from 0 to 9.)

    Customer: “Oh, they don’t carry 55. My husband is going to be 55.”

    (I think she’s joking, and laugh a little.)

    Me: “Well, you can just buy two 5′s, and that’ll make 55.”

    Customer: *disgusted* “I don’t know why they hired you!” *leaves without buying anything*

    Less Social, More Security

    | USA | Extra Stupid

    (I am on working the register during a busy day and the line is building up fast. I have finished ringing up a customer and am gathering some information.)

    Me: “And can I have your zip code, please?”

    Customer: “Sure, it’s [zip code].”

    Me: “All right, and a phone number?”

    (The customer rattles off a number that sounds exactly like a social security number.)

    Me: “Um, sir, that sounds like it would be your social security number.”

    Customer: “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “You tricked me into giving you my social security number!”

    Me: *speechless*

    Size Matters, Part 5

    | Destin, FL, USA | Extra Stupid

    (I work at the photo counter of a major retailer. This happens almost everyday.)

    Me: “Hello, how can I help you today?”

    Customer: “I was wondering how big is an 8 x 10 photo?”

    Me: *holding up fingers to approximate size* “About this big.”

    Customer: “So, how big is that?”

    Me: “It’s 8 inches by 10 inches.”

    Customer: “So, will that fit in a 4 x 6 frame?”

    Related:
    Size Matters, Part 4
    Size Matters, Part 3
    Size Matters, Part 2
    Size Matters

    Sender To Return

    | Denver, CO, USA | Extra Stupid

    (A customer comes in and presents me with a package. I immediately note that he has the delivery address in the place of the return address, by standard postal conventions.)

    Customer: “I sent this package from here last week, and it came back to me.”

    Me: “Sir, you have your addresses in the wrong places.”

    Customer: “Why does it matter? Can’t the post office hire people who can read?”

    Me: “They can read just fine, sir. However, they do try to move quickly to get your mail out on time, so they look at the second address.”

    Customer: “That just means they’re stupid and they need to learn how to read. No wonder the post office is going out of business!”

    Me: “Sir, standard postal addressing conventions have the return address on top, and the delivery address on the bottom, and this is what postal employees expect to see. You have your ‘To’ and ‘From’ backwards.”

    Customer: “Oh, so now this is all my fault? They deliver it wrong and you tell me it’s my fault? I hope you don’t expect to keep business that way. I won’t be coming back. I’m going to UPS.”

    Me: “Have a good day, sir!”

    Next customer: *having witnessed entire exchange* “UPS is going to send it back to his house too!”

    Me: *nods*

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