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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Two Heads, Half A Brain

    | Oshawa, ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Money

    (Two teenage girls, about fifteen years old, are in my store trying to buy perfume. On the counter, there are two bottles of our store brand perfume beside each other. There is a small bottle and there is a large bottle.)

    Me: “So, the large bottle is $25.00 and the small bottle is $15.00.”

    Customer #1: “Which bottle is the small one?”

    Me: *confused* “The smaller one of these two.”

    Customer #1: “Oh…”

    (The girls wander around the store and comment on how cute our sandals are.)

    Me: “Our sandals are really nice. They’re actually buy one, get one half off.”

    Customer #2: “What do you mean?”

    Me: “You buy one pair of sandals, and you get the second pair half off.”

    Customer #2: “Wait, what?!”

    (The girl looks at me genuinely confused. At this point, I have no other way to explain buy one get one half off, so I just repeat what I said.)

    Me: “You buy one pair of sandals, and you get the other for half the price.”

    Customer #1: “I don’t understand…”

    (The girls eventually give up. As they walk out of the store, I overhear them talking to each other.)

    Customer #1, to Customer #2: “I don’t get what ‘Buy one, get one half off’ means!”

    Sugar And Spice, Although Brains Might Be Nice

    | Pickering, ON, Canada | Extra Stupid

    (The store I work in is a store full of little girls’ accessories. With headbands, nail polish, and necklaces, it’s fairly obvious this is a store for little girls.)

    Me: “Hey there, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, do you have any little girls accessories?”

    Me: “You’re in the right place.”

    Customer: “Oh, good! Where would I find them?”

    Me: *gestures* “Anywhere in the store.”

    Customer: “What do you mean?”

    Me: “The whole store is full of little girls’ accessories. That’s what [store] is all about.”

    Customer: *somewhat ditzy* “Oh. Okay! Thank you. Goodbye!”

    (I watch as the customer prances off into the mall and goes straight into another girls accessory store.)

    Coworker: “Wow.”

    Parts & Laboring The Obvious

    | Warwick, RI, USA | Extra Stupid

    Customer: “I need a tire for a 2010 Honda Accord.”

    Me: “What do you have on there now?”

    Customer: “A flat tire.”

    Here Today, (Not) Gone Tomorrow

    , | Melbourne, Australia | Extra Stupid

    (A man approaches the counter.)

    Me: “Hello, sir, what can I get for you today?”

    Customer: “Yes, I was wondering what days you guys are closed.”

    Me: “We’re open everyday.”

    Customer: “Yes, but which days aren’t you open?”

    Me: “None. We are open every day.”

    Customer: *irritated* “Are you deaf? Which days AREN’T you open?”

    Me: “Sir, we are open on days that end with the letter Y.”

    Customer: “Right! So you’re open 4 days a week! Why didn’t you just say that?”

    Pay Me Up, Scotty

    | South Carolina, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

    Caller: “I would like to make a reservation.”

    Me: “Sure, we require a one night advance deposit to reserve a room. What type of card will you be using?”

    Caller: “I would like to pay that in cash.”

    Me: “I am sorry, sir. I am unable to take a cash payment over the phone.”

    Caller: “I called yesterday and was told that you accept cash.”

    Me: “That is correct, sir, we do accept cash. However you must be present to pay cash.”

    Caller: “But I have the cash right here!”

    Me: “I am sorry, sir, I am unable to take cash through the phone. I will either need a credit card number, or you are more than welcome to come to the hotel when you arrive and pay cash.”

    Caller: “Ugh, fine. Here is my credit card number!”

    Related:
    Fax Me Up, Scotty

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