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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Natural Selection, Hard At Work

    | Baltimore, MD, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (A customer comes with an old toolbox.)

    Customer: “Hey, look what I found just outside…”

    (The customer opens the metal toolbox filled with mushrooms.)

    Customer: “I doubt they’re the kind that make you high.”

    Me: “Um, I wouldn’t eat those. I think they’re destroying angel mushrooms, which are deadly poisonous.”

    Customer: “If they are, then I’ll probably eat them!” *leaves the store and never returns*

    Canada: America’s Hat, Part 2

    | Nova Scotia, Canada | Canada, Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel

    (The majority of the customers coming into this shop are from off of the cruise ships and mainly American.)

    Me: “Is there anything I can help you with today, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Um, yes…could you tell me where I am?”

    Me: “Yup, you’re in Canada.”

    Customer: “And where is Canada?”

    Me: “Um, well, if you look at a map, it’s that large country on top of your country.”

    Customer: “Oh.”

    (She looks baffled by this new piece of information and slowly turns around and walks away.)

    Related:
    Canada: America’s Hat

    Water You, Stupid, Part 3

    | Greenburg, NY, USA | Extra Stupid

    (Every year, there is one day in July where the pool lets everyone in, even if they don’t have a membership. I’m lifeguarding at the diving boards.)

    Woman: “Excuse me, lifeguard. How deep is this pool?”

    Me: “The diving tank is 13 and a half feet deep.”

    (She looks at the water for a few seconds.)

    Woman: “So, how does it work? Do you jump in and then, when you’re at the bottom, you just float back up?”

    Me: “Um, no, you have to swim.”

    Woman: “Oh, then this isn’t for me.”

    (She walks away and tells her family the news. They leave disappointed.)

    Related:
    Water You, Stupid, Part 2
    Water You, Stupid

    The Sweet Smell Of Savings

    , | Chino, CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel

    (A customer comes to my window and I help him get his entry and equipment rentals. I also give him a coupon for his next visit.)

    Me: “Here is a coupon for $5 off your next visit.”

    (The customer starts to scratch the coupon.)

    Customer: “What’s it do?”

    Me: “Sir, it’s not scratch and sniff. It gets you $5 off you next visit.”

    (He scratches the coupon with more force, then smells it.)

    Customer: “I don’t smell anything. What’s it do?”

    Me: “It’s a $5 off coupon for your next visit.”

    (The customer scratches the coupon some more.)

    Customer: “Ugh! I don’t understand. I scratch it and it doesn’t smell like anything. What does it do?!”

    Me: “The next time you come back, you bring this with you and you save $5 on your entry.”

    Customer: “Oh, so it doesn’t smell like anything?”

    Me: “No.”

    Customer: “And I save $5 on my next visit?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “Oh, I’m from out of state, so, no thank you!”

    Non Sequitur

    | Philadelphia, PA, USA | Extra Stupid

    Customer: “Where is the escalator?”

    Me: “Go down this aisle and turn left. It’ll be right there.

    Customer: “Where?”

    Me: “Down this aisle, to the left.”

    Customer: “Where?”

    Me: “Let me show you.”

    (I walk her over to about five feet from the escalator and point at it.)

    Me: “It’s right here, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Where is the escalator?”

    (I move to stand almost on it.)

    Me: “Right here.”

    Customer: “This is the escalator?”

    Me: “Yes”

    Customer: “Oh, thank you! You are so pretty.”

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