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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Non Sequitur, Part 2

    | Las Vegas, NV, USA | Extra Stupid, Top, Tourists/Travel

    (A customer sits down at my poker table. He is clearly high out of his mind.)

    Customer: “Hey, man, what’s your sign?”

    Me: “Uh…I’m a Leo. What’s yours?”

    (The customer thinks about this for a full minute.)

    Customer: “I’m a marshmallow.”

    Have You Tried Dihydrogen Monoxide, Part 3

    | Lansing, MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I am standing in line at the pharmacy counter and a man rudely cuts in front of me, stating that he has been waiting in line, just in another part of the store. He assures me he’ll be quick, but I don’t buy his excuse. The following exchange occurs between him and the pharmacist.)

    Customer: “I need to speak to a pharmacist immediately.”

    Pharmacist: “Do you have a question about your medication?”

    Customer: “Yes, it says on the bottle to take with water. I don’t drink water. Water makes you fat.”

    Pharmacist: “Um, water is essential for your body, especially with those pills.”

    Customer: “What about water retention? Will I just pee it out, then?”

    Pharmacist: “Yeah, your body will eventually eliminate it. You should drink water, though. Your body needs plenty of water to work well, and you really don’t want to be dehydrated while on this drug.”

    Customer: “Okay, I’ll try it. Oh, and one more question. What about alcohol? Can I still have my alcohol?”

    Related:
    Have You Tried Dihydrogen Monoxide, Part 2
    Have You Tried Dihydrogen Monoxide

    Take Two Werewolves And Call Me In The Morning

    | New Zealand | Extra Stupid

    (I have just given a customer his prescription and am explaining to him the directions.)

    Me: “So, just take two of these with water at night.”

    Customer: “Okay, thanks. Wait, I work at night…should I take these in the day time?”

    Me: “Yes, just take them before bed.”

    Customer: “Okay, so they aren’t activated by the moon or anything?”

    Me: “No.”

    Customer: *slight disbelief* “Hmm, okay…” *turns around and leaves*

    Stop And Stair, Part 3

    | Boone, NC, USA | Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging

    Customer: “What’s up there?” *pointing at the stairs*

    Me: “Those stairs take you to the second floor and the breakfast area.”

    Customer: “So, like, if we walk up those stairs, we’ll be on the second floor?”

    Me: “Yes, that’s generally what happens when you go up stairs.”

    Customer: “That’s so cool! They’ve got stairs and an elevator!”

    Related:
    Stop And Stair, Part 2
    Stop And Stair

    Same Difference

    | Portsmouth, UK | Extra Stupid

    (We have an offer on in store: buy one backpack, get another backpack free. A customer comes to me to pay for one backpack and a pair of shoes.)

    Me: “Sorry, but the promotion only works when you buy two backpacks. You will then get one of them free.”

    Customer: “Oh, I see. So it’s just backpacks…just backpacks…just backpacks…backpacks.”

    (The customer wanders off, presumably in search of another backpack. She eventually returns.)

    Customer: “This, please.” *shows me a belt*

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, the belt isn’t in the deal.”

    Customer: “But I’m buying a backpack…A BACKPACK! You said it was free with a backpack!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. What I meant was that you can get a free backpack with your other backpack.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay.”

    (The customer wanders off again, and once again returns with a new item.)

    Customer: “I’ll just take these, then.” *shows me a pair of shoes*

    Me: “Those aren’t in the deal either, I’m afraid. It’s only backpacks.”

    Customer: “But it’s two of the same! You said they had to be the same!”

    (After going back and forth for another 5 minutes, I finally take her to pick out a backpack, specifically. She pays and leaves, still mumbling about “two of the same”.)

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