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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Happy Order-Dependence Day

    | Great Neck, NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Holidays

    (A patient wants to reschedule their appointment. Since she’s said she’s unavailable at every time I’ve given her, I suggest she let me know when she’s available.)

    Patient: “How about July 4th? I could come in at 1:00.”

    Me: “Well, we’re closed for the holiday.”

    Patient: “What holiday? There’s no holiday then!

    (Before I can answer, she figures it out.)

    Patient: “Oh…wait. July 4th must be the 4th of July!”

    Related:
    The Fourth Is Not Strong With This One

    He Has An Alco-huh Problem

    | Canberra, Australia | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (A man in his 40s walks in to the store. He’s carrying an empty 750ml bottle of bourbon, and places it on the counter.)

    Customer: “I want a refund on this bottle of bourbon. It was off.”

    Coworker: “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t refund that one as the bottle is empty.”

    Customer: “But I even brought the receipt back.” *waves receipt*

    Coworker: “I’m terribly sorry, sir. As the bottle is empty, we cannot refund it. If I may, sir, what made you think the bottle of bourbon was off?”

    Customer: “I drank it last night and it made me throw up.”

    Coworker: “I am terribly sorry for that, but what happened to the rest of the bottle?”

    Customer: “I told you! I drank the whole bottle last night, and it made me feel dizzy and throw up! It was clearly off!”

    Caution: Wet Weather May Be Wet, Part 2

    | Jacksonville, NC, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (I’m outside gathering shopping carts as it is raining. As I am headed back towards the store with the carts, I notice a woman walking towards the entrance on the sidewalk. The woman slips and lands on her butt.)

    Me: “Are you okay?”

    Customer: “Are you serious? You don’t have a wet sign out here! Let me speak to your manager!”

    (We head inside, and my manager approaches us.)

    Manager: “What seems to be the problem, miss?”

    Customer: “There are no wet signs outside this store. How am I supposed to know if it is slippery?” *storms into the store*

    Me: *to my manager* “I didn’t know that I was supposed to put wet signs outside when it was raining.”

    Manager: “You’re not.”

    Related:
    Caution: Wet Weather May Be Wet

    Water You, Stupid, Part 10

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (Due to a broken water line in the apartments above, our copy shop has been flooded and needs to be closed. All power to the building is shut off and we are currently trying to clean up the mess. Despite this, a customer walks past the barricade and orange cones. I find her standing at one of the copy machines in ankle-deep water while wearing high heels.)

    Customer: “Why aren’t your machines on?”

    Manager: “Ma’am, the store is flooded.”

    Customer: “But your doors are unlocked! Everything should be on!”

    Manager: “Ma’am, we are currently in the process of removing everything that was damaged, so we need the doors unlocked to take stuff out.”

    Customer: “Well, this is terrible. I’m contacting your corporate office. If your doors are unlocked, everything should be working!” *storms out*

    Related:
    Water You, Stupid, Part 9
    Water You, Stupid, Part 8
    Water You, Stupid, Part 7
    Water You, Stupid, Part 6
    Water You, Stupid, Part 5
    Water You, Stupid, Part 4
    Water You, Stupid, Part 3
    Water You, Stupid, Part 2
    Water You, Stupid

    Sometimes, This Job Really Blows

    | Colorado, USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body

    (I work as a drug tester for state agencies. Most people come in for breathalyzers. Our machine though does not stop on its own and I have to tell people when to stop blowing. A new client has just come in and is doing his blood alcohol.)

    Me: “…and stop blowing.”

    (The client doesn’t stop, but keeps blowing until the machine gives a system error.)

    Me: “Okay, let’s try one more time…” *client blows* “…and stop.”

    (Again, the client doesn’t stop, which causes a system error again. This goes on ELEVEN more times, with me explaining repeatedly that he needs to stop when I tell him to.)

    Client: “What the F***! Why won’t this f***ing thing work?!”

    Me: “As I’ve explained multiple times, you have to stop when I say or it won’t work.”

    Client: “I don’t like people telling me what to do!”

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