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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    It Keeps Saying Error

    | Eau Claire, WI, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work in a cell phone store. From time to time, we have to fix phones for people. Today, an elderly woman is asking me to look at her phone.)

    Customer: “There is something wrong with my phone. Could you fix it for me?”

    Me: “Sure, what’s it doing?”

    Customer: “Well, it won’t make any phone calls.”

    Me: “No problem. Can I see your phone for a moment?”

    (The customer digs through her purse, pulls out a calculator, and hands it to me.)

    Customer: “See, I punch in a phone number and nothing happens.”

    Me: “Erm, did you grab this by mistake? This is a calculator, not a cell phone.” *hands back the calculator*

    (The customer takes the calculator back, looks at it, then looks at me blankly before walking away.)

    Brakes Can Drive You Crazy

    | Austin, TX, USA | Extra Stupid

    (My manager is talking to a customer about what they need fixed on their car. I often eavesdrop so I can hear from a person’s own words what is wrong. It often helps me to diagnose the problem.)

    Customer: “The truck isn’t running right. It doesn’t have power and runs rough.”

    Me: “Well, when do you notice the problem?’

    Customer: “When I’m slowing down.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, it doesn’t have power when braking? ”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “Do you mean the brakes don’t feel right?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “What about when you get back on the gas pedal? Does it go fine?”

    Customer: “Oh, yes it has plenty of power then.”

    Me: “So, when you are on the brakes and slowing down, the truck doesn’t have power, but when you get back on the throttle it has plenty of power?”

    Customer: “Exactly.”

    Me: *speechless*

    (We take the car in and run full diagnostics. I never found anything wrong with the truck. It ran like it was brand new and had very few miles on it.)

    Some Things Just Don’t Add Up

    | Baltimore, MD, USA | Extra Stupid, School

    (I work in the testing center for a community college. We administer placement exams and make-up exams, among other things. This particular student is taking his placement exam.)

    Me: “Okay, sir, I have you set up on that computer over there.” *points to computer* “Just finish filling in your personal information and the test will begin.”

    Student: “Okay, thanks.”

    (About forty-five minutes go by as the student goes through the exam. I then see him raise his hand, so I stand up and walk over to his computer.)

    Me: “Is there something wrong?”

    Student: “Yeah, it’s telling me that I’m about to start the arithmetic test.”

    Me: “Yes, that is part of the placement exam.”

    Student: “But I’m supposed to be taking a math test, not an arithmetic test!”

    The One That Has Wheels And Moves

    , | Missouri, USA | Extra Stupid

    (I work at a tire center. More often than we’d like, we get completely clueless customers coming in for tire replacements.)

    Customer: “Hello, I’d like to get my tires changed.”

    Me: “Sure, what’s the year, make, and model of your vehicle?”

    Customer: “I’m really not sure of any of that. Do you need it?”

    Me: “Yeah, we need to know so we can get the right size of tires. Do you know if your car is a Chevy? A Ford? Dodge?”

    Customer: “I don’t know, but I think the name starts with an E?”

    Me: “Okay, is it a car, truck, or SUV?”

    Customer: “I’m really not sure.”

    Me: “Okay, let’s just step outside on the parking lot. You can point your car out for me and I can get the information there.” (The customer stands at the door and points out to the lot, which is filled with cars.)

    Customer: “It’s the white one.”

    (I go outside and begin to walk to the first white car I see.)

    Customer: “What are you doing?! I said the white one! The white one!” *points to another white car in a different direction* “You don’t know what you’re doing! Who hired you?”

    Noon, Not Too Soon, Part 2

    | Great Neck, NY, USA | Extra Stupid

    (I call patients the day before their appointment to remind them.)

    Me: “Hello, [patient], I am calling to remind you of your appointment with [doctor] tomorrow at noon.”

    Patient: “Okay, what time is my appointment?”

    Me: “Noon.”

    Patient: “But what time is my appointment?”

    Me: “Noon.”

    Patient: “What time is noon?”

    Me: “Um, it’s at twelve o’clock…in the afternoon.”

    Patient: “Oh, great. Thanks! I’ll be in.”

    Related:
    Noon, Not Too Soon


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