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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    You’re Dumb Enough Without Alcohol

    | Christchurch, New Zealand | Extra Stupid

    (We have a daily special where everything in the bar is $4. There are huge signs everywhere advertising this. I have this conversation at least twice a week.)

    Customer: “How much is a vodka lime?”

    Me: “$4. Everything is $4.”

    Customer: “Really? So, how much is a tequila shot?”

    Me: “$4. Everything is $4.”

    Customer: “Even Jäger?”

    Me: “If it’s alcohol, then it’s $4.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay. I’ll have a gin.” ”

    *pause*

    Customer: “Is that $4 too?”

    How About A Pound Of Cherries For A Pound Of Money

    | Chicago, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

    Customer: “How much are the cherries?”

    Me: “$3.49 a pound.”

    Customer: “Okay. Well, I have a pound. How much is it?”

    Me: “$3.49.”

    Customer: “Why? Shouldn’t it be less?”

    Me: “It’s $3.49 a pound. You have a pound, so it’s $3.49.”

    Customer: “No, that doesn’t make sense. Just take them off!”

    An I For An Eye

    | Portland, OR, USA | Extra Stupid

    Me: “What’s your name, ma’am?”

    Caller: “Miriam.”

    Me: “‘M’ as in Mary, ‘I’ as in India–”

    Caller: “No! ‘I’ as in the eye in your face!”

    This Apple Fell Far From Its Tree

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA | Extra Stupid, Top

    (I am working at an elementary school for gifted children. We have a horseshoe shaped parking lot where parents picked up their kids. At the end of the day it’s my job to stand at the exit of the one way and direct people 10 feet to my right to the correct entrance. A woman coming to pick up her child tries to enter the wrong way. I step in front of her car. She steps on the gas and gets close enough to hit my bright orange flag that says “stop”.)

    Woman: “What the h*** are you doing? I need to pick up my daughter! Why aren’t you letting me pick up my daughter?”

    Me: “Ma’am, this is a one way. You need to back out and go the correct way.”

    Woman: “You’re kidnapping my daughter! I’m going to call the police! Let me in to see my daughter!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I assure you, we are not keeping you from your daughter. All you need to do is back up and drive a few feet to the entrance. You are trying to go the wrong way down a one way.”

    Woman: “Well, how am I supposed to know which way is the right way?”

    Me: “Ma’am, even if I weren’t here to tell you, there’s a sign right behind me that says ‘Do Not Enter’.”

    Woman: “Well, I shouldn’t be expected to read street signs!”

    Obviously, She Needs Food For Thought

    | North Brunswick, NJ, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Top

    (A truck flips over down the street and takes out a power line, knocking out the power to our restaurant. We are all getting ready to start cleaning up and calling it an early day until a customer walks in. Note that all the lights are off.)

    Customer: “I tried calling to place an order and you guys didn’t answer the phone!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Our power is out, so our phones don’t work.”

    Customer: “Well, that’s okay. Can I just order a chicken lori dinner?”

    Me: “Well, I’m afraid that’s not possible at the moment. We have no electricity in the kitchen and there aren’t any windows back there. Plus, our ovens and grilles have electric starters.”

    Customer: “You guys are open though, correct?”

    Me: “Only for a little while longer while we clean up.”

    Customer: “Well, then, can you at least make me a pizza?”

    Me: “I don’t think you really understand. We lost power. We can’t cook anything right now.”

    Customer: “Ugh, what kind of pizza place is this? Can I at least have one of the slices on the counter?”

    Me: “Sure, we can do that.”

    (I pick her slices out and start putting them in a box.)

    Customer: “You aren’t even going to heat them up or anything?”

    Me: “Ma’am, I honestly don’t know how much clearer I can make this. The power is out. Anything that uses electricity is currently not working. Our stoves cannot be started.”

    Customer: “Fine! Forget it. I’m never coming back here again. You people are useless!”


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