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  • Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Moving Not Improving

    | MN, USA | Extra Stupid

    (I am waiting at the DMV to transfer my out-of-state license. Things are moving relatively smoothly until a gentleman of about 65-70 years old is called to the window.)

    Customer: “Hello, I’d like to renew my license.”

    Employee: Alright, sir.” *takes his paperwork* “And are you still living at the address on your current license?”

    Customer: “Yes, but I’m going to be moving within the month.”

    Employee: “Okay. Well, I can see that your license is still valid for a little over a month, so you can just wait to renew it until you move. If we renew it for you today, then in couple weeks when you move, you will have to contact the state to change the address, and then come to us for a new printed license, which will cost you $5.”

    Customer: “But, I just want to renew my license.”

    Employee: “Yes, and we can do that for you, but as I said, you will then have to go through the hassle of contacting the state when you move and paying more money for a new license. If you are moving within the month, your current license will still be valid, so you might want to wait until then.”

    Customer: “No, I just want to do it today.”

    Employee: “Alright then… and you do understand that it will cost you $5 to get a new license when you move?”

    Customer: “Yes, yes.”

    (The employee obliges and they go through the eye test, photo, etc. They are finally finished.)

    Customer: “So, what happens when I move?”

    This Problem Can’t Get Licked

    | Chattanooga, TN, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

    (We are doing an adoption event at a retailer in conjunction with four other animal rescue/shelter groups. Each group is in a large tent with dogs that are up for adoption in crates. A lady approaches, she has two kids; a boy about 6 and a girl about 9.)

    Woman: “Oh, she is so cute!” *motioning towards a two-year-old Shepherd mix*

    Me: “Yes, she is a great dog, and she is great with kids. Would you like me to take her out so you can see how she acts around your children?”

    Woman: “Yes, that would be great!”

    (I take the dog out of her crate, and have her on a leash. The kids are both petting her and the dog is behaving very well.)

    Woman: “Oh… that dog doesn’t lick, does she?”

    Me: “Of course she does. All dogs lick.”

    Woman: “Oh, you will have to put her back, then. My daughter is allergic to dog saliva. We need a dog that doesn’t lick.”

    Me: “Ma’am, all dogs lick. They use their tongue to eat, drink water, clean themselves, and show affection. Maybe a dog is not what you should be looking for.”

    Woman: “Oh, that’s bull. I know you have some dogs here that don’t lick. If you don’t, then one of these other groups will.”

    Me: “You are welcome to ask around.”

    (The woman spent the next 30 minutes going to each tent trying to find a dog that doesn’t use it’s tongue. She ended up going inside and adopting a cat.)

    Slightly Accented Hair

    | NY, USA | Canada, Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel

    (I have lilac hair with blue tips. I also wear light grey contacts, and I have slight Irish accent.)

    Customer: “Oh my, such pretty hair you have!”

    Me: “Thank you!”

    Customer: “Is it natural?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “Like, were you born with that hair color? That’s so peculiar!”

    Customer’s friend: “That’s not the only thing peculiar about her! Look at her eyes, they’re so big and grey!”

    Me: “Oh, they’re just contact lenses.”

    Customer’s Friend: “Look, she’s even speaking with a weird accent! You must not be from here! Are you from Canada?”

    Customer and her Friend: *simultaneously* “Ah, Canadians!”

    Not Harnessing The Brain Waves

    | NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel

    (I work at guest services aboard a cruise ship that does 5-day cruises to Canada. We get pretty wacky questions sometimes. A man comes up to the desk.)

    Guest: “Excuse me, I have a question.”

    Me: “Yes, sir?”

    Guest: “Where does the water in the pools come from?”

    Me: “We actually convert seawater into freshwater and put it into the pools.”

    Guest: “Oh, so that’s why the water’s splashing so much!”

    Diet In The Honeymoon Stage

    | MN, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    Customer: “Hi, I would like a small latte, please.”

    Me: “Would you like a flavor shot added to your latte?”

    Customer: “Do you have any sugar-free flavors?”

    Me: “Yes.” *points to the menu* “Our flavor shots are listed here, we have sugar-free vanilla, caramel, hazelnut, raspberry.”

    Customer: “Hmm, no thanks. I really shouldn’t have any sugar added to my drink. Can you just put honey in it?”

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