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  • Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Inching Away From Intelligence, Part 2

    | Onley, VA, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science

    (I work in the electronics department of a large retail store. I receive a phone call one morning.)

    Me: “Hello? Electronics department, how can I help you?”

    Caller: “Well, I’m on your website looking at your [brand name] TVs. You got two on here I like, a 26 inch and a 32 inch. What’s the difference?”

    Me: “Well, sir. It depends. Are they Plasma, LCD, LED?”

    Customer: *cutting me off* “No, no, no! I don’t care about any of that. I just wanna know which one’s bigger!”

    Related:
    Inching Away From Intelligence

    No Wait To Her Argument

    | Columbus, OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Time

    (I’m running slightly late to meet a patient. I arrive about five minutes after the appointment time to find no one there. I wait around, wondering if she was perhaps caught up in traffic. After half an hour goes by, I call her.)

    Patient: *rudely* “Hello!?”

    Me: “Hello, this is [name] of [clinic name]. We had a 4 pm appointment today, but I didn’t see you.”

    Patient: “Oh, I was waiting forever, and you never showed!”

    Me: “I’m so sorry I missed you. How long were you waiting?”

    Patient: “45 minutes.”

    Me: “Huh? But it’s 4:30 now and there’s no one here.”

    Patient: “Yeah, I know! I left at 4pm!”

    Me: “But, that’s when our appointment was.”

    Patient: “Right! I can’t believe you were so late!”

    Me: “Please correct me if I’m wrong, but [clinic] is by-appointment-only, which means I am not in the office unless there’s a patient. I’ve told you this, haven’t I?”

    Patient: “That’s right.”

    Me: “So you’re upset because I wasn’t here 45 minutes before I was actually supposed to be here?”

    Patient: “Yes!”

    (The weirdest thing is that I had actually treated her before, and she’d shown up fifteen minutes late without calling!)

    The Price For Room To Improve

    | Omaha, NE, USA | Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging, Money

    Me: “Good evening, how can I help you?”

    Caller: “What are your rooms at for Thursday night?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we’ve sold out. Would you—”

    Caller: “Okay, but what are the prices?”

    Me: “Well, the prices are based on availability, so I can’t give an exact quote, but I can—”

    Caller: “What do you mean?! Why can’t you just give me the price?!”

    Me: “Well, based on other nights, it would be between $169 and $199, plus the local tax, but we are sold—”

    Caller: “No! You’re not hearing me! What’s the exact amount!?!”

    Me: “That would be $222.88, ma’am.”

    Caller: *in a very condescending tone* “There! That wasn’t so hard, was it!?”

    Me: “Uh…”

    Caller: “So, how many of those do you have left?”

    Doe Is Dear

    | Washington, DC, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Language & Words, Pets & Animals

    (I work at a pet supply store that offers alternative foods for animals with allergies.)

    Customer: “What’s bee-son?”

    Me: “Bison. It’s an alternate protein source, similar to beef.”

    Customer: “But what is it?”

    Me: “It’s also called buffalo. It’ a lot like beef, just leaner.”

    Customer: “But what is it?”

    Me: “They’re kind of like, um, feral cows?”

    Customer: *blank stare*

    Me: “Moo?”

    Customer: “Well, why didn’t you just say that? And veen-ay-son?”

    (She points to a bag labelled “venison.”)

    Me: “That’s deer.”

    Customer: *more blank staring*

    (I put my hands up on either side of my head like antlers.)

    Me: “Bambi?”

    Customer: “All these fancy names for things. It’s just so you can charge more for it, isn’t it?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. That’s exactly how it works.”

    Paying Fool Price, Part 2

    | Adelaide, SA, Australia | Extra Stupid, Money

    (We are in the middle of a massive stock-take sale. The store has two enormous banners at the entrance stating this, along with stands of our sale brochures. Every aisle and wall is hung with SALE posters every 2 metres, and there are red SALE balloons on every fixture. Every shelf or stand has an A3 sign on it stating the percentage of discount on that range, as well as smaller signs showing the price of individual items. Instead of our usual business wear, the staff are all wearing red shirts which have the company logo and SALE written on them, plus name badges. It’s quiet for a moment, so I am filling an empty shelf with stock from a trolley.)

    Customer: “Do you work here?”

    Me: *laughs* “Yeah, I do.”

    (She doesn’t even seem to take in my company shirt and apron, name badge or the fact that I’m doing stock work. She just seems mildly surprised.)

    Customer: “Oh, I wasn’t sure.” *picks up an egg poacher* “Is this on special?”

    Me: “Yes, everything is on special today. We’ve got 40% off cookware at the moment.”

    Customer: “Are you sure it’s on sale?”

    Me: “Yes, I’m quite sure there’s a sale on.”

    (I laugh, but she is just staring at me strangely.)

    Me: “The sign on top of the shelf says 40% off all cookware, and the little sign in front of the poacher says the egg Poacher now [price]. So it’s [price].”

    Customer: “I need to know the exact price. Go and check it for me.”

    Me: “Okay, well, the girls on the register can scan it for you to confirm the price before you purchase.”

    Customer: “No. I want you to check now.”

    (Giving in, I go right down the front, scan it, and not surprisingly, it comes up at the exact same price as I told her.)

    Me: “It came up [price].”

    Customer: “Oh, so it is on sale! I’ll just tell my sister!” *takes out phone* “Cheryl! They have a sale on!”

    (I ran into ‘Cheryl’ later. You’ll never guess what kind of questions she asked me.)

    Related:
    Paying Fool Price

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