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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Stop And Stair, Part 2

    | Kennebunkport, ME, USA | Extra Stupid

    Customer: “Where are your stairs to get back to the street?”

    Me: “Right behind me, ma’am.”

    Customer: “No, I said the stairs to go DOWN!”

    Me: “We only have this set of stairs and our fire exit. These are the stairs that lead down to the street.”

    Customer: “But I came up these. I can’t go down them. Stairs only go one way!”

    Me: “Let me show you to the elevator…”

    Related:
    Stop And Stair

    In Through The Out Door

    | Bedford, NS, Canada | Extra Stupid

    (A woman and her son have just entered the library. They walk straight to me while I am sitting at the circulation desk. There
    is only one entrance to the library. All other doors leading outside are clearly and brightly marked fire exits.)

    Patron: “How do I come in?”

    Me: “Sorry?”

    Patron: “How do I come in here?”

    Me: “Through the door?”

    Patron: “Which one?”

    Me: “The one you just walked through.”

    Patron: “Oh okay, so I just do that again?”

    Me: “Yes…that should work perfectly.”

    Patron: “Thanks!” *walks away*

    In Case Of Emergency, Use Brain

    , | Hanover, Germany | Extra Stupid

    (I’m working in the insurance field service. One of many things I have to deal with is containing damages on the telephone.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [insurance company]. How may I assist you?”

    Customer: “My house is burning!”

    Me: *confused* “Your house is burning?”

    Customer: “My house is burning! What should I do?”

    Me: “Have you called the fire department?”

    Customer: “No, I thought the insurance wanted to see the damage before–” *disconnects*

    Live Wires Are Stupid Magnets

    | Wilmington, NC, USA | Extra Stupid

    Customer: “Excuse me, I have these wires that are red, black, and white, coming out of my drywall in my garage. I touched them and they did not appear live. I need to do something with them so I can patch the wall.”

    Me: “Okay, we can get some caps for you and some electrical tape. Just cap each one individually and wrap them individually with the tape and
    you can tuck them back into the wall without any issues.”

    Customer: “Should I test them to see if they are live? Should I touch them to my tongue?”

    Me: “No!”

    You’re Just Spin-Cycling Your Wheels

    | Nova Scotia, Canada | Extra Stupid

    (I work at a gas station with a carwash. A customer comes in and pushes his way to the front of the line. He is holding a shirt that is dripping wet.)

    Customer: “Your car wash sucks!”

    Me: “Sorry to hear that. What seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “I just bought a car wash and it didn’t clean anything! There is still a giant stain on it.”

    Me: “There is a giant stain on your car, sir?”

    Customer: “I don’t drive a car! I drive a truck, and the stain is on my shirt, you idiot!”

    (He holds up his shirt to show me a nice brown stain in the middle of his white shirt. I look at him confused for a few seconds until I look outside and see two men pulling clothes out from the back of a bright blue truck.)

    Me: “Sir, did you try and wash your clothes in our car wash?”

    Customer: “No, I am just standing here with a wet shirt for fun. I want a refund. It didn’t clean my shirt!”

    Me: “Sorry, this isn’t a laundromat, sir. I’m sorry. There is nothing I can do.”

    Customer: “I bought a luxury car wash and it didn’t clean s***! I want my f***ing money back!”

    Me: “We only give refunds on vehicles that haven’t been cleaned, sir.”

    (The customer yells a few choice words, threatens to call the head office, and leaves. To date, I have not heard from the head office.)


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