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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    3D Or Not, Time Is Still Linear

    | California, USA | Extra Stupid

    (I work in a box office at a movie theater.)

    Customer: “Is there a non-3D showing of Green Hornet at 6:45?”

    Me: “No, it’s at 8:00.”

    Customer: “When’s the next non-3D one?”

    Me: “8:00.”

    Customer: “There’s not one at 6:45?”

    Me: “No, it’s at 8:00.”

    Customer: “Oh…I looked up the 3D show instead of the regular one. So, wait, when’s the next non-3D showing of Green Hornet?”

    Me: “8:00…”

    Mentally Closed Down

    | Goodyear, AZ, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (It’s a little after 10:00 PM and two customers walk in.)

    Me: “Welcome to [restaurant]! Two tonight?”

    Customer: “Are you about to close?”

    Me: “No, we are open 24 hours.”

    Customer: “Oh…” *to his friend* “Let’s go then, dude.”

    Forget You, And Forget Me Too

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Extra Stupid

    (I work at a gym and recreational facility that requires a membership.)

    Customer: “Hi, I have a question about my membership payment.”

    Me: “Okay, are you on the annual or quarterly payment system.”

    Customer: “I don’t know.”

    Me: “On the bills you get from us, is it for $350 or $1400?”

    Customer: “I don’t know.”

    Me: “Okay, if you can give me your name and phone number, I can make sure our billing person looks up your payment and then contacts you.”

    Customer: “I don’t know my phone number…”

    Some Things Just Don’t Add Up, Part 4

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

    (I’ve just finished ringing out the customer’s items. He hands me a gift card for another store. It’s the same color as our rewards card, so I think he just isn’t paying attention and has them confused.)

    Me: “Sir, this is a [store] gift card. We can’t take this.”

    Customer: “No, you can. Take the gift card.”

    Me: “No, I can’t. This is for [other store]. You’re at [hardware store] right now.”

    Customer: “No, take the gift card. I want to pay with that.”

    (This goes on for a few more minutes, with the customer insisting I take the gift card for the other store. I even run the card through the scanner just in case.)

    Customer: “Wait, that is a [store] gift card, isn’t it?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “And I’m at [hardware store], aren’t I?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “Oh.” *takes gift card* “So, what do I owe you?”

    Me: “$30.00.”

    (He hands me a $20 and stares expectantly.)

    Me: “And then it’s still $10, sir.”

    Customer: “You’ve got the $20.”

    Me: “Right, and $30 minus $20 is still $10.”

    Customer: “But you’re holding the $20.”

    Me: “Yes, but your total is more than $20.”

    Customer: “I gave you a $20.”

    (This goes on for a few more minutes, too. Finally…)

    Customer: “Wait, did you say it’s $30?”

    Related:
    Some Things Just Don’t Add Up, Part 3
    Some Things Just Don’t Add Up, Part 2
    Some Things Just Don’t Add Up

    We Need To Know How Long Your Word Is Good For

    | Glen Burnie, MD, USA | Extra Stupid

    (I work at a call center where people can pay off speeding tickets over the phone with their credit card.)

    Me: “Okay, ma’am, can I have the expiration date?”

    Caller: “Of what? Me?!”

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