November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Where There Are Smokers, There Is Fire

| IL, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid

(I am the manager of a store that sells hookahs, among many other things. Since there are very strict laws in the area I tend to cut people off before incriminating themselves too much. The phone rings and I answer.)

Me: “[Store Name]. This is [Name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Hi. You guys sell hookahs? I want to know how these things work. I need to know what order to put things in. I’ve got the coal ready. I put that in the bowl on top, then the tobacco and weed right?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t sell hookahs for anything illegal. Just tobacco.”

Caller: “Oh right… Where do I put the tobacco then?”

Me: *sighs* “The tobacco goes in the bowl, then either a screen or tin foil with some holes on top of the bowl, and the lit coal on top.”

Caller: “Oh… I would have burned my house down again! Thanks!” *hangs up*

Me: “Again?”

Understanding In All But Name

| IN, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

Me: “Hi! What can I do for you?”

Customer: “I need to cash my check.”

Me: “Sure! I’ll need to see your ID please.”

Customer: “Why? It’s MY check!”

Me: “I understand, but I’ve never waited on you before. I need to verify that it is your check.”

Customer: “But it’s MY check!”

Me: “But I don’t know that. I don’t know you.”

Customer: “It has my NAME on it!”

Me: “But I don’t know your name. I’ve never waited on you before. I have to make sure that the right person gets their money.”

Customer: “My name is on the check!”

Me: “Ma’am, what if you dropped the check outside and someone else brought it in to cash? Would you want me to cash it for them?”

Customer: “No, because they aren’t me!”

Me: “How would I know that?”

Customer: “Because MY name is on the check!”

Me: *sighs*

Just Checking

| OH, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

(An older customer comes through my line. She is paying with a check, and the register tells me to check her ID.)

Me: “May I please see your ID?”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t have one.”

Me: “…you don’t have an ID?”

Customer: “Well, I have a driver’s license. Is that an ID?”

Summing Up Bad Parenting

| USA | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Math & Science

(I work at a small water park where it’s $5 for adults and $4 for kids. I’m working as the cashier at the ticket booth when a mom and her daughter walk up. The daughter can’t be more than seven or eight years old.)

Me: “For the two of you it’s going to be $9.”

Daughter: *with a HUGE smile on her face* “That’s $5 for mom and $4 for me!”

Me: “Yes. You’re right! Good math!”

Mom: *hands over the $9 in cash* “No, honey! It’s eight dollars! Four for me, and four for you. That’s eight, ugh!”

(The mom storms in, mumbling something under her breath, while the girl’s smile vanishes.)

Signed His Own Fate

, | USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

(We had a bad storm the night before that disconnected our store’s internet which is used for the credit cards. We have signs posted on the doors and on the registers that we cannot accept credit or debit cards. We can accept only cash or checks.)

Me: “Hello. Is this for here or to go?”

Customer: “For here. I’d like to use these coupons.”

Me: “Okay.”

(I ring up his order which comes to around $35 even with the coupons. He hands me a debit card.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. We cannot accept cards at the moment.”

Customer: “Well. I guess I’ll have to go elsewhere.”

Me: “Okay, sir. Sorry for the inconvenience.”

Customer: “Y’all need to have signs up for that.”

Me: “You walked past two when you walked in, sir, and there’s one right there in your face.”

Customer: *shamefully walks out*