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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Water Water Everywhere And Not A Drop To Flush

    | UK | Extra Stupid

    (We run a boat which takes 12 people at a time. We have two toilets on board, which is usually enough for no one to have to wait for any period of time.)

    Customer: *flustered and annoyed* “Both toilets are full!”

    Me: “Um, yes.”

    Customer: “But I need to go and both toilets are full!”

    Me: “I’m sorry but there’s nothing I can do.”

    Customer: “I need to go!”

    Me: “What do you want me to do? Drag someone out of there?”

    Customer: *mumbles* “But both toilets are full.”

    Economics Is About Supply and Nevermind

    | Miami, FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

    (Our store has a weekly special where if you buy certain item(s), you get a few other items for free. The customer I’m ringing up has two pizzas, which are the items you need to buy for this week’s deal.)

    Me: “By the way, ma’am, since you bought these two pizzas, you can get chicken tenders, popsicles, and a 2 liters soda for free. It’s part of our weekly deal.”

    Customer: “I don’t want them.”

    Me: “Well, they’re free, ma’am.”

    Customer: “I don’t care! I don’t want them!”

    Me: “Well, you could just take them and give them to someone you know.”

    Customer: “Why would I give them anything for free? That’s stupid.”

    Me: “Well, you could charge them for it, I guess. If you sold it for less than we sell it, they’d buy it off of you, I’m sure.”

    Customer: “Nobody would be stupid enough to do that!”

    Me: “What?”

    Customer: “Just shut up and ring me up!”

    (I proceed to ring her up without her free items.)

    Natural Selection, Hard At Work

    | Baltimore, MD, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (A customer comes with an old toolbox.)

    Customer: “Hey, look what I found just outside…”

    (The customer opens the metal toolbox filled with mushrooms.)

    Customer: “I doubt they’re the kind that make you high.”

    Me: “Um, I wouldn’t eat those. I think they’re destroying angel mushrooms, which are deadly poisonous.”

    Customer: “If they are, then I’ll probably eat them!” *leaves the store and never returns*

    Canada: America’s Hat, Part 2

    | Nova Scotia, Canada | Canada, Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel

    (The majority of the customers coming into this shop are from off of the cruise ships and mainly American.)

    Me: “Is there anything I can help you with today, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Um, yes…could you tell me where I am?”

    Me: “Yup, you’re in Canada.”

    Customer: “And where is Canada?”

    Me: “Um, well, if you look at a map, it’s that large country on top of your country.”

    Customer: “Oh.”

    (She looks baffled by this new piece of information and slowly turns around and walks away.)

    Related:
    Canada: America’s Hat

    Water You, Stupid, Part 3

    | Greenburg, NY, USA | Extra Stupid

    (Every year, there is one day in July where the pool lets everyone in, even if they don’t have a membership. I’m lifeguarding at the diving boards.)

    Woman: “Excuse me, lifeguard. How deep is this pool?”

    Me: “The diving tank is 13 and a half feet deep.”

    (She looks at the water for a few seconds.)

    Woman: “So, how does it work? Do you jump in and then, when you’re at the bottom, you just float back up?”

    Me: “Um, no, you have to swim.”

    Woman: “Oh, then this isn’t for me.”

    (She walks away and tells her family the news. They leave disappointed.)

    Related:
    Water You, Stupid, Part 2
    Water You, Stupid


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