July Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

No Vocation For Location, Part 6

| Israel | Extra Stupid, Geography, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

(I am a South African, working at a hotel restaurant in Israel. The establishment has both servers and guests from all over the world. Generally people are interested in finding out where people are from and why they’re here. One day I am clearing a table for an American couple.)

Me: “Shalom! I hope you enjoyed your meal. May I take your plates?”

Husband: “Yes, please. It was great.”

Wife: “Hey, you sound weird. Where are you from?”

Me: “I’m from South Africa.”

Wife: “Really?! South Africa… where is that?”

Me: “Err…”

Husband: *embarrassed* “Honey, it’s in Africa. If you look at a map, it’s right down at the bottom.”

Wife: “Oh…” *blank look* “Oh! Kangaroos, right?”

Husband: “Err…” *looks at me apologetically*

Me: *just smiles* “I hope you enjoy the rest of your stay!”

Related:
No Vocation For Location, Part 5
No Vocation For Location, Part 4

A Very Shallow Pool Of Intelligence

| AR, USA | Extra Stupid

(The phone rings.)

Customer: “I need to get sand for my pool filter.”

Me: “Okie doke, how much sand do you need?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

Me: “If you look on your filter, it will usually tell you how much it uses.”

Customer: “I’m looking at it right now. It doesn’t say how much it needs.”

Me: “Does it say anything on it at all?”

Customer: “Yes it has a serial number.”

Me: “What is it?”

Customer: “300-L-B-S.”

(I pause.)

Customer: “Does that help?”

Me: “I will have your sand ready to pick up in 15 minutes.”

Food For Thoughtless, Part 2

| Orlando, FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Top

(I’m waiting for my food at a popular restaurant that calls your order number, and then puts your food up on a counter so you can grab it.)

Cook: “Order number [X].”

(I’m walking, up when a customer runs up and grabs at the food.)

Customer: “What is this? This isn’t what I ordered!”

(The customer starts taking the sandwich apart.)

Customer: “I didn’t order this! What’s this?”

(The customer starts picking parts of the salad out with her fingers.)

Customer: “I ordered a roast beef and soup!”

Cook: “Were you order number [X]?”

Customer: “No. My order number is [Y].”

Cook: “Then that’s not your food. That belongs to someone else.”

Customer: “Well you should have said something!”

(The customer stomps off. I look at my ripped apart sandwich that someone has just been grabbing.)

Me: “I’m order number [X]. Sorry, I tried to speak up.”

Cook: “Don’t worry; I’ll remake that for you. You wouldn’t believe how often this happens.”

Related:
Food For Thoughtless

Has No Propensity For History

| Gettysburg, PA, USA | Extra Stupid, History, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

(I’m working behind the register counter that has glass display cases of knives, wallets, etc. Some are engraved with CSA—Confederate States of America, and USA—for the Union.)

Customer: *running up to the counter* “Oooh! Knives! Wait, what does ‘CSA’ mean?”

Me: “It stands for ‘Confederate States of America.’ Did you want to have a look?”

Customer: “No, I don’t want to buy. But, the Confederate states are the North, right?!”

Me: “No, not at all… ”

Customer: “Oh, oh well. But you know what’s strange? All these battles happened in national parks!”

Me: “Uh…”

Customer: “I guess that just made it easier to hide behind the monuments!”

Me: “I have to get back to work; have a nice day.”

(I get back to folding and stocking while the customer walks out with the smuggest look on their face, like they just gave me a history lesson.)

How To Train Your Customer

| Nanuet, NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

(A shipment of bearded dragons has just arrived at the store, and I’m placing them into the designated habitat when a customer walks up.)

Customer: “Excuse me, what are those?”

Me: “They’re baby bearded dragons.”

Customer: “Are those considered lizards or dragons?”

Me: “Uhh… they’re lizards, sir.”

Customer: “Oh. Okay.” *walks off disappointed*

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