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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Adventures In The Third Dimension, Part 3

    | Sacramento, CA, USA | Extra Stupid

    Customer: “I want you to take these two pages, which are one-sided, and make me copies that come out two-sided. But print a test copy of it first so I can see it.”

    (I print the requested double-sided copy and hand it to the customer. He stares at it for several seconds in silence.)

    Customer: “Well, that’s great and all, but what about the other side?”

    Me: “Uh, turn the paper over?”

    Customer: “OH!”

    Related:
    Adventures In The Third Dimension, Part 2
    Adventures In The Third Dimension

    No Need To Drive This Deal Home

    | Illinois, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Money, Top

    (I have just brought a middle-aged couple back from a test drive. We are going over the price of the car.)

    Me: “With your trade and money down, we’re looking at about $400 per month for the base model, and $440 per month fully-loaded.”

    Husband: “But we only wanted to spend $500 to $550 or more per month!”

    Me: “…Excuse me?”

    Wife: “Like he said, we’re looking to spend no more than $550.”

    Me: “Well, yes. Even if you get the fully loaded model, it’s far under $500 per month.”

    Husband: “NO! What part of ‘$500 per month’ don’t you understand?”

    Me: “Not a problem, sir. I definitely think we can make the numbers work for you at $500 per.”

    Wife: “Much better. We’ll take it, then!”

    The Time Traveler’s Strife

    | Provo, UT, USA | Extra Stupid

    Me: “Thank you for calling [bookstore]. This is [name], how can I help you?”

    Customer: “I’d like to order 20 copies of [title].”

    (I look it up.)

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, it looks like that book is out of print.”

    Customer: “It can’t be out of print! I have a copy of it right here in my hand!”

    Try Wallmart, Part 2

    | New York, USA | Extra Stupid, Top

    Me: “Thank you for calling Borders. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Yeah, I’m redoing my kitchen right now and I could use some help. I’ve got all the counters and the floors and the cabinets planned, but I can’t decide what to do with the walls. I was thinking some kind of trim would be nice.”

    Me: “Okay.”

    Caller: *silent*

    Me: “Sorry, what are you looking for?”

    Caller: “Just trying to figure out what you offer.”

    Me: “Uh, well, I can do a quick search on home renovation or decorating and see what we have?”

    Caller: “Don’t you have samples or something?”

    Me: “What?”

    Caller: *sighs loudly* “SAMPLES. Can you come over and bring me some samples?”

    Me: “…What?”

    Caller: “Oh, good God. Samples, honey! SAM-PLES. They come in a big binder? Show all your different kinds of wallpaper?”

    Me: “You know you’ve called Borders, yes?”

    Caller: “Of course!”

    Me: “…and you know Borders is a bookstore?”

    Caller: “No. It’s a wallpaper company.”

    Me: “It’s not; it’s a bookstore. We sell books.”

    Caller: “ONLY books?”

    Me: “That’s right.”

    Caller: “Well, then why the h*** did you name it Borders? It sounds like you do wallpaper borders and trims and things!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Do you want me to look up a book on wallpaper for you?”

    Caller: “Can you install it if I find something I like?”

    Me: “No.”

    Caller: “You’re useless!” *hangs up*

    Related:
    Try Wallmart

    Alohomorons

    | Newport, TN, USA | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids

    (I’m working in the library when a patron of about 11 or 12 years of age walks up. We have the following exchange.)

    Young Patron: “Where do you have the Harry Potter books?”

    Me: “They’re right back here…”

    (I show her to the section where we keep them. She stares at them for a while.)

    Young Patron: “Can I have the Prisoner of Azkaban?”

    (I take it out and place it on a table. She opens it up and leafs through it.)

    Young Patron: “Oh my God! There are so many words! Can I have the one with less pages?!”

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