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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    All Set For Higher Standards

    | Southfield, MI, USA | Extra Stupid, School

    (I work at a test proctoring facility. A student has just finished taking his placement exams.)

    Me: “Alright, you placed into University Physics and Calculus 1.”

    Student: “Okay.”

    Me: “Do you have any last questions?”

    Student: “Who do I talk to about registration?”

    Me: “Go upstairs to Admissions. They should be able to help you.”

    Student: “Okay.” *stands there*

    Me: “…Anything else I can help you with?”

    Student: “Nope.” *stands there*

    Me: “Okay… you’re all set.”

    Student: “Okay.” *stands there*

    (I try to subtly signal the student to move on by shuffling my papers.)

    Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

    Student: “Nope.” *stands there*

    Me: “So… your scores have been entered into the database. So… you’re all set.”

    Student: “Oh, I’m all set?”

    Me: “Yes…”

    Student: “Oh, okay!” *leaves*

    Aisle Always Need Directions, Part 4

    | Australia | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I’m stacking shelves next to the chip display when this happens. Note: The display is very large thus hard to miss.)

    Customer: “Hi, I was wondering if you could help me?”

    Me: “Of course. What can I do for you, ma’am?”

    Customer: “I was wondering what aisle the chips are in?”

    (I’m a little stunned, as she is standing right next to them.)

    Me: “Um, just right there.” *points to chips*

    Customer: “No! I asked what AISLE they were in.”

    Me: “Um, ma’am you’re standing right—”

    Customer: “FOR F***’S SAKE! CAN YOU PLEASE JUST TELL ME WHAT AISLE THE CHIPS ARE IN?”

    Me: “A-Aisle 7.”

    Customer: “Thank you! Now was it really that hard?”

    (The customer arrives back at the display a few minutes later.)

    Customer: *grabs chips* “You could have f***ing told me I was standing right f***ing next to them! HONESTLY! What is this world coming to?!”

    Me: *speechless*

    Related:
    Aisle Always Need Directions, Part 3
    Aisle Always Need Directions, Part 2
    Aisle Always Need Directions

    They’ll Always Be (Baby) Back For More

    | Glendale Heights, IL, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (A customer has just given me her order for a full-slab of ribs. She seems nice and even-tempered until this moment.)

    Customer: “That’s to go, and I want to talk to your manager!”

    (I call over the manager.)

    Manager: “Yes, how may I help you?”

    Customer: “Last time I came here, I ordered your ribs and they were absolutely DISGUSTING! There was barely ANY sauce and they were cold and gross!”

    Manager: “Did you contact us? We could have given you customer credit.”

    Customer: “NO! Why would I EVER want to come back?!” *pays for her ribs and storms off*

    She Uses The Google, Part 3

    | Ontario, Canada | Extra Stupid, Technology

    Me: “Thank you for calling the [Company] Festival. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Oh, thank God! I need help! Your website is terrible. I can’t do anything on it! All I want to do is book my damn tickets. This is f***ing disgusting.”

    Me: “I’m sorry you’re having so much trouble! I can help you book your seats. What show are you interested in?”

    Caller: “I just can’t do anything on it. I can’t even find the calendar. You really need to be more accessible. This is the worst website I have ever seen! Who the h*** made this trash?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, miss. If you are having this much trouble, I would be more than happy to help you order over the phone. It will only take a—”

    Caller: “NO!”

    Me: “No?”

    Caller: “Tell me how to do this. I’m not a stupid old crone.”

    Me: “Sure! I can guide you through the process. Are you on our website at this moment?”

    Caller: “Of course I’m f***ing on your website!”

    Me: “Okay, then. The first thing I want you to do is login. I can create a temporary username and password on this end for you to use.”

    Caller: “Login?”

    Me: “At the very top of the page it should say ‘Welcome, please login.’ I want you to click that message.”

    Caller: “I don’t see it.”

    Me: “It should be in big bold red letters, right above our logo.”

    Caller: “Don’t be stupid. All it says is ‘Google!’”

    (As you can imagine, the call went on for quite some time before I finally convinced her to let me book her order over the phone!)

    Related:
    He Uses The Google
    He Wants The Google
    She Uses The Google, Part 2
    She Uses The Google

    The Only Foaming Is At Her Mouth

    | Charlotte, NC, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I work at a campus coffee house, which is primarily student-run. At least 80% of our customers are other students or teachers who all know us. Occasionally, we get new customers who don’t understand that we’re not a major chain.)

    Customer: “Can I have a latte with no foam?”

    Me: “Certainly.”

    (I ring the customer up, she gets her latte and leaves. Five minutes later, she comes storming back in, elbowing all the other customers out of her way and shoving the latte in my face.)

    Customer: “DOES THIS LOOK LIKE NO FOAM TO YOU?”

    (I look down, and all that’s on the top of the latte is two or three bubbles from the steamed milk. It’s definitely no foam.)

    Me: “Um… well, honestly ma’am, I don’t see any foam at all, but I’d be happy to remake it for you—”

    Customer: “WHAT IS SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND ABOUT ‘NO FOAM?!’”

    (At this point, my manager comes over.)

    Manager: “Ma’am, there is a line, and my employee needs to get other people their orders. I’ll be happy to remake it, but this is our rush hour and it might take a few minutes.”

    Customer: “YOU REMAKE IT, RIGHT NOW!”

    (While my manager remakes the latte—he’s even moved it forward in the line—the customer grumbles and complains about me to everyone else who is waiting, three of whom happen to be my teachers. I hand one of my teachers their order, and she gives me a huge smile.)

    My Teacher: “Thank you SO much. I know it’s really hard to juggle work with school. And, look at that! My drink looks perfect. I’ll see you in class later. ”

    (My teacher even makes a point of taking a huge sip and exclaiming, “Delicious!” before giving the rude customer a cheeky grin and exiting the store.)

    Customer: “I… well, I…. IT’S NOT HARD TO…”

    Manager: “Ma’am, here’s your drink.”

    Customer: “THERE’S STILL FOAM—”

    Manager: “Ma’am, those are bubbles from pouring the milk into the espresso. That is not foam.”

    (At this point, the other customers start giggling. Without a word, the customer yanks the drink from him and leaves. At least she never came back!)

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