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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    It’s Not Her Calling

    | Raleigh, NC, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

    (I am working when my phone rings. I pick it up on the second ring.)

    Me: “[Call center]. Mary speaking.”

    Caller: “Why did you call me?”

    Me: “…pardon, ma’am?”

    Caller: “WHY. DID. YOU. CALL. ME?”

    Me: “Ma’am, I just answered the phone. You called me. Can I—”

    Caller: “No, I didn’t! I just picked up my phone and you were talking!”

    Me: “My phone rung and I answered it, ma’am. Is there anything that I can help you with?”

    Caller: “No! I don’t know you! Who are you?!”

    Me: “This is Mary from [call center].”

    Caller: “No! No! I don’t know any Mary and I don’t know any [call center]. Why did you call me?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I did not call you. Were you intending to call someone else?”

    Caller: “I didn’t call anyone! You called me! I’m done with you!” *click*

    America: Canada’s Shoes

    | Duluth, MN, USA | Canada, Extra Stupid, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (Because our store is located fairly close to the Canadian border, we sometimes get customers from Canada who come to take advantage of our sales. It is Black Friday.)

    Customer: “Why is it so busy? I’ve never had to wait in line so long!”

    Me: “I apologize for the wait ma’am, but it is Black Friday.”

    Customer: “So? We don’t madness on Fridays in Canada!”

    Me: “It’s Black Friday. It’s the day after our Thanksgiving, where stores have the biggest sales of the year, which means we are really busy.”

    Customer: “Well, I shouldn’t have had to wait in line so long! I’m from Canada! I didn’t know it would be this busy!”

    Me: “With all due respect ma’am, why did you drive three hours to shop today?”

    Customer: “Because it’s the biggest sale of the year!”

    Me: “That’s also why so many Americans are here.”

    Customer: “Still! I’m from Canada! We don’t have Black Friday!”

    Canada: America’s Hat

    Cannot Make It Any Clearer

    | Canada | Extra Stupid, Money

    Customer: “My son is doing a project and he needs something that looks like a window. Are laminate pouches see-through without being heated?”

    Me: “Not really. They are kind of frosty.”

    (I take one out to show her.)

    Customer: “Oh, shoot. It’s not clear enough.”

    Me: “Well, I can put it through the laminator for you. It doesn’t have to have anything in it in order to seal it.”

    Customer: “Really?”

    Me: “Yeah, once it goes through it will just look like a thin sheet of plastic and it will be completely see-through.”

    Customer: “Okay, how much would 5 11″x17″ sheets cost?”

    (I tell her the price.)

    Customer: “Wow! That’s really expensive for laminating sheets that don’t even have anything in them!”

    Me: “They are the same price whether you have something in them or not.”

    Customer: “Why?!”

    Me: “Because if you had something in it, you would be supplying it, not us. When you get something laminated, you are just paying for the pouch itself, not the stuff inside it.”

    Customer: “Hmm, I don’t know. I don’t know if I want to pay that much. I mean, I’m not even putting anything in them.”

    Me: “But if you put something in them they won’t look like windows anymore.”

    Customer: “Yeah, but I just don’t understand why it’s so much when you’re not even putting anything in the pouches.”

    Me: “Because you don’t pay for the stuff that goes in the pouches.”

    Customer: “Nope, I’ll think of something else. It’s too expensive for not putting anything in them!”

    Out Of Print, Out Of Mind

    | Cambridge, MA, USA | Extra Stupid, Musical Mayhem

    (It is 1992. I am working cash register.)

    Customer: “Can you guys order a disc if I don’t see it out here?”

    Me: “Sure, I can make you a special order.”

    Customer: “Great, what do I do?”

    (We go through a form with the customer’s name, phone number, the band name and the album name.)

    Customer: “They’re called Split Enz, and the album is See You Around.”

    Me: “Oh, cool, I’ve heard of that band, but not that album. One minute…”

    (I look up the album in our distributor’s catalog.)

    Me: “Hmm, they don’t list that album here.”

    Customer: “So?”

    Me: “So, I can’t place the order without the distributor’s catalog number. Hang on a second.”

    (I phone the distributor and find out that the album is out of print.)

    Me: “They say it’s actually called See Ya Round, but I’m sorry, I can’t order this for you. The album is out of print.”

    Customer: “Of course it is! That’s why I need you to order it for me!”

    Me: “If there aren’t any copies out in the bins, I can’t order you something that’s not being made anymore.”

    Customer: “No, it’s out of print! Order me a new one!”

    Me: “Sorry, it doesn’t actually work that way. If it’s out of print, the record company isn’t making it anymore. They aren’t sending us any more copies. It’s out of print.”

    Customer: “Yes, I know it’s out of print. That’s why I have to order it, duh! Why can’t you get it?”

    Me: “Because it’s out of print?”

    Customer: “I just said that! Order one!”

    Me: “Um, have you tried any of the used record stores in town?”

    Customer: “Jeez! If it’s out of print, why can’t you just order me one?!” *storms out*

    More Of A Dollar Half Full Kind Of Person

    | OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Money

    Me: “Okay, will that be all?”

    Customer #1: “Yes, thanks.”

    Me: “Do you have a [store] card?”

    Customer #1: “Oh, I do!”

    Me: “Alright, your total is $9.43.”

    Customer #1: “Oh look, I even saved money!”

    Customer #2: “How much?”

    Me: “Umm, $0.60.”

    Customer #2: “Ooh, that’s almost half a dollar!”

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