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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Another Darwin Awards Candidate, Part 2

    | Portland, OR, USA | Extra Stupid

    (Note: This occurs at the pump while the customer’s car is filling.)

    Customer: “Is it okay if I smoke here?”

    Me: “No.”

    Customer: “Are you sure? I heard the law changed.”

    Me: “No, because gas is still flammable.”

    Customer: “Oh, it is?”

    Related:
    Another Darwin Awards Candidate

    Single-Handedly Stupid

    | California, USA | Extra Stupid

    Me: “How are you doing? Did you find everything all right?”

    Customer: “No, I was looking for left-handed writing instruments, but apparently, you don’t have them. I guess I’ll have to take my business somewhere else. I feel bad for my son, though. He has been suffering.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I believe that all pencils and pens work for both right-handed and left-handed people.”

    Customer: “Then, why is he suffering? He says his hand hurts every time he writes! You don’t understand!”

    Me: “I am left-handed. I have been using the same pencils and pens as everyone else, and never had a problem.”

    Customer: “I don’t like your tone! You are so disrespectful and unsympathetic! I want to speak to your manager!”

    Dumb By Any Metric

    | Oklahoma, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science

    Customer: “What’s the difference between these two water heater gas lines?”

    Me: “One is two feet long, and one is four feet long.”

    Customer: “But what is the difference? They’re priced differently.”

    Me: “Um, one is 24 inches long, and one is 48 inches long.”

    Customer: “I don’t understand! Why should I buy one over the other?”

    Me: “Because one is only this long.” *holds arms two feet apart* “And one is this long.” *hold arms four feet apart*

    Customer: “You don’t have to be so rude!” *storms away*

    Knowing Is Half The Battle, Part 2

    | Michigan, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

    Me: “Hello! How are you today?”

    Customer: “I don’t know…”

    Me: “Well, is there anything I can help you find?”

    Customer: “Yeah.”

    (There’s a long pause.)

    Me: “…Is there a specific style you’re looking for?”

    Customer: “I don’t know…”

    Me: “Maybe a color?”

    Customer: “I don’t know…”

    Me: “What size?”

    Customer: “I don’t know…”

    Me: “Um, I can’t help you unless you give me something to go on.”

    Customer: *dejectedly* “Okay.” *leaves*

    Boss: “What just happened?”

    Me: “I don’t know…”

    Related:
    Knowing Is Half The Battle

    Time To Start Screening Customers

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Top

    (A customer slams a bottle of sunblock on the counter.)

    Customer: “This is worthless! I can’t believe you sell this!”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, sir.” *examines the empty bottle* “But this is the highest protection factor we have.”

    Customer: “Well, it’s crap! I want a refund!”

    Me: “Sorry, I can’t refund an empty bottle; it’s store policy.”

    Customer: “Well, what do you expect?! I have two large windows!”


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