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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Slightly Accented Hair

    | NY, USA | Canada, Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel

    (I have lilac hair with blue tips. I also wear light grey contacts, and I have slight Irish accent.)

    Customer: “Oh my, such pretty hair you have!”

    Me: “Thank you!”

    Customer: “Is it natural?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “Like, were you born with that hair color? That’s so peculiar!”

    Customer’s friend: “That’s not the only thing peculiar about her! Look at her eyes, they’re so big and grey!”

    Me: “Oh, they’re just contact lenses.”

    Customer’s Friend: “Look, she’s even speaking with a weird accent! You must not be from here! Are you from Canada?”

    Customer and her Friend: *simultaneously* “Ah, Canadians!”

    Not Harnessing The Brain Waves

    | NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel

    (I work at guest services aboard a cruise ship that does 5-day cruises to Canada. We get pretty wacky questions sometimes. A man comes up to the desk.)

    Guest: “Excuse me, I have a question.”

    Me: “Yes, sir?”

    Guest: “Where does the water in the pools come from?”

    Me: “We actually convert seawater into freshwater and put it into the pools.”

    Guest: “Oh, so that’s why the water’s splashing so much!”

    Diet In The Honeymoon Stage

    | MN, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    Customer: “Hi, I would like a small latte, please.”

    Me: “Would you like a flavor shot added to your latte?”

    Customer: “Do you have any sugar-free flavors?”

    Me: “Yes.” *points to the menu* “Our flavor shots are listed here, we have sugar-free vanilla, caramel, hazelnut, raspberry.”

    Customer: “Hmm, no thanks. I really shouldn’t have any sugar added to my drink. Can you just put honey in it?”

    Not Getting The Message

    | ON, Canada | Extra Stupid

    (We are a small store that repairs watches. Upon the completion of a repair job, we call the customer to alert them that there product is ready.)

    Customer: “I am here to pick up my watch.”

    Me: “Okay, sure! Did you receive a call that it was ready?”

    (Asking this allows me a better idea of where to look for the bag, in the completed drawer, in progress drawer, or intake drawer.)

    Customer: “No! I had to call you and ask if it was ready. That is outrageous!”

    (I am confused, because the job has three notes of us calling her, but no one answered.)

    Me: “That’s strange. It says here that we did call you, but there was no answer. Perhaps your answering machine was broken? Or maybe we misread your number?”

    Customer: “No, that is my number, and I don’t have an answering machine! You should have left me a message, at least! You have terrible customer service!”

    Me: “You expected us to leave a message for you even though there was no person nor machine there to hear or record it?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Fuming Over The Gas

    | Finland | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I am working alone in a very crowded kiosk. A customer points at a soda refrigerator.)

    Customer: “Can you tell me which ones do and don’t have gas in them?”

    Me: “Gas?”

    Customer: “Yes, gas! I want one without gas!

    Me: “Oh, okay I think you mean carbona—”

    Customer: “I mean gas! I don’t like it.”

    Me: “Well I’m sorry to tell you this, but everything else except for regular spring water has ‘gas’ in them.”

    (The customer keeps staring at the refrigerator quietly, then picks up one soda.)

    Customer: “Does this one have gas in it?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “How about this one?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “Hmmm. How about this one?”

    Me: “Yes. As I said, only spring water doesn’t contain any gas. All the others do.”

    Customer: “Well, I think I’ll take this one anyway and try out for myself.”

    Me: “Okay, great, that’ll do two euros.”

    (After about 10 minutes, the customer comes back.)

    Customer: “MISS! IT DOES HAVE GAS IN IT!”

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