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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Best Just To Let It Slide

    | UK | Extra Stupid

    (I work on the rides at a small theme park. We swap round every so often because you’d go mad working in the same place all day. To reach the top of the water slide, we have to go up the same way the customers do. Ideally, customers should queue either side of the ramp, one queue for each of the two types of slides as indicated by the signs, then we’d walk up the space in the middle. It’s not always that easy, though.)

    Me: “Excuse me, please.”

    (As I walk up the space in the middle, most customers move to the side when they turn and see I’m in uniform. One woman, however, appears to ignore me.)

    Me: “Sorry, excuse me please.”

    Customer: “There’s a queue.”

    Me: “Yes, I know; I work here. Sorry about the wait. It shouldn’t take long from here. If I could just squeeze past?”

    Customer: “No! You can wait like everyone else. So rude. Trying to push in!” *begins ranting*

    (The customer’s husband turns around to see what his wife is ranting about and starts laughing.)

    Customer’s Husband: “Hun, let her past.”

    Customer: “What? No way!”

    Customer’s Husband: “Well, we’re not going to get very far if you don’t. She’s the one that’s operating the ride.”

    Customer: *turns around, goes bright red, and steps out of my way*

    (I laugh and thank her husband before carrying on. She looked quite embarrassed to see me operating the water slide by the time it got to her go!)

    Now That Is What I Call Up-Selling

    | AZ, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

    (Our store matches print ads for other stores in the area.)

    Customer: “These are on sale for $4.50 at [other store].”

    Me: “Ours are $3.89 for that.”

    Customer: “I insist that you ad match this for me.”

    Me: “Okay…”

    Not In The Right Frame Of Mind

    | USA | Extra Stupid

    (Our picture framing shop sells sheets of glass pre-cut to various sizes. An older customer comes up to the counter with an 11×14 inch piece.)

    Customer: “Which side is 11, and which side is 14?”

    When You’ve Been Shawshanked

    | BC, Canada | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

    (I work at a table that is set up at a farmer’s market every Sunday where I sell different deli meats. I also cater events and I am speaking to a couple in their 30s about possibly catering an engagement party. I am a caucasian female in my 20s.)

    Me: “So, I can give you my business card if you’d like to discuss the options for your engagement party.”

    Woman: “Sure, thanks!”

    Man: “You’ve been so helpful!” *looks at name on business card* “Morgan Freeman? Are you seriously Morgan Freeman?”

    Me: “Well, yes. That’s my name.”

    Woman: “Are you the actor?”

    Me: *laughing* “Haha, only on weekdays!”

    Man: “No she’s not. What a liar! This is bulls***. You’re not Morgan Freeman!”

    Woman: “Honey, it says right there on the card. So, are you the one that does all the narration? Like for the penguin movies?”

    Man: “She’s a liar. We’re leaving.”

    Me: “No. I’m not the African American male actor. But anyway, my email and phone number are on there for my catering business.”

    Man: “Sorry, we don’t deal with liars.”

    (He hauls his fiancée away.)

    Woman: *turns around and literally yells* “DO YOU KNOW OPRAH?!”

    This Call Makes Up The Numbers

    | England, UK | Extra Stupid

    (We are a small office. If all of us are on the phone, and calls can take a long time to handle, the phone system encourages callers to leave a phone message so we can get back to them as quickly as possible.)

    Caller: *answers phone message to us* “I am calling to complain! This is absolutely appalling service. You should answer the phone when I am trying to call you. If you’ve got someone on the line, why don’t you hang up on them if I want to call you? My call surely would be more important than theirs! I demand you hang up on whoever you are talking to at the moment and call me back immediately! My number is…”

    (There is a long pause.)

    Caller: “Oh, s***. I can’t remember my own number.”

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