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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Idle Hands Are The Devil’s Dishwasher

    | Christchurch, New Zealand | Extra Stupid

    Customer: “Hi, I’d like to purchase this dishwasher.”

    Me: “Sorry, we don’t actually have any in stock at the moment. It’s about a week’s wait.”

    Customer: “That’s not good enough! I NEED ONE TODAY! How am I supposed to do the dishes if I don’t have a dishwasher for a whole week?!”

    You Can Win The Battle But Lease The War

    | Toronto, Canada | Extra Stupid, Money

    (This takes place just when DVDs are starting to replace VHS. A customer comes to the counter with a popular movie on VHS.)

    Me: “You know, sir, the rental costs $4.99 for a week, but we are selling previously rented copies of this movie for only $1.99.”

    Customer: “That’s okay. I just want to rent it.”

    Me: “But sir, it’s $3 cheaper if you buy it, and you won’t have to bring it back.”

    Customer: “But I don’t want to keep it!”

    Me: “Well, you could buy it and then throw it out after.”

    Customer: *impatiently* “Look, I don’t want to buy anything. I just want to rent this movie!”

    Me: *gives up* “Certainly, sir. That will be $5.14 with taxes. The movie is due back next Tuesday by midnight.”

    Customer: “Great! Thanks!”

    A Whale Of A Story

    | Pleasant Hill, CA, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals, Top

    (My coworker and I have been laughing over a list of dumb laws during a quiet spell at the registers.)

    Me: “Check this out. It’s illegal to hunt whales in Utah.”

    Coworker: “Well, now, that’s not very specific. Is it illegal to hunt FOR them, as in go looking for one, or is it illegal to FIND one and harpoon it? Because, let me tell you, the second one is a lot harder!”

    Me: “Well, if I ever go to Utah, I think I’ll walk up to a cop and ask them where I can go hunting for whales, just to see his reaction.”

    (As we continue joking, a customer overhears us and becomes angry.)

    Customer: “You filthy murderers! How can you think hunting whales is funny?!”

    Me: “I assure you, ma’am, there is little danger of me actually harming a whale in Utah.”

    Customer: “That’s no excuse! You think you could get away with taunting a police officer by openly admitting you were going to commit a crime?”

    Coworker: “Yes… actually, in this case, we probably could.”

    Customer: “HOW?!”

    Coworker: “Well, since whales live in the ocean and there are no oceans in Utah—”

    Customer: “Don’t treat me like I’m stupid! I’m calling the producers of Whale Wars on you! You’ll be shamed in front of the whole nation!” *storms out*

    You Just Weeded Yourself Out

    | NC, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid, Top

    (I work at a very popular supplement store, and we sell products that are called “detoxes”. There are certain ones that people buy under the impression that they can cheat a urinalysis. If the customer mentions anything about drugs or a urine test, we must refuse the sale.)

    Customer: “Hey, I need one of those detoxes.”

    (I unlock the display and bring it to the counter.)

    Me: “Okay, anything else?”

    Customer: “Do these really work? I’m trying to find a job and I smoke a lot of weed.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I cannot sell you this product because you told me that. It is against federal law. I will have to ask you to leave.”

    Customer: “Really? That sucks. Hey, are you guys hiring?”

    Let Me Google That For You

    | Missouri, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    Me: “Thanks for calling [store]! How may I direct your call?”

    Customer: “Hi, I was wondering when the new season of this TV show is supposed to come out.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but our system doesn’t allow us to research release dates. I could only tell you if it was being released this month.”

    Customer: “Well, could I find out on your website?”

    Me: “Well, your best bet would just be to Google it.”

    Customer: “Umm… so what should I Google?”

    Me: “The name of the TV show, the season, and the words ‘release date.’”

    Customer: “Oh my God, thank you! I never would have thought of doing that! I’ll go look it up now. Bye!”

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