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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Answering Her Own Calling

    | CA, USA | Extra Stupid

    (I am an office manager for a window cleaning company. I schedule appointments for customers. When we perform a cleaning, the customer receives an invoice. This invoice has their name, address, and phone number on it, as well as the charges.)

    Me: “Window cleaning, how can I help you?”

    Caller: “I want to schedule an appointment. I’ve been trying to call you for over an hour and the phone is always busy. What have you been doing?”

    Me: “I’m sorry about that, ma’am. The phone shouldn’t be busy. We have several different lines all attached to our number so the answering machine or myself should have picked up.”

    Caller: “Well, you didn’t, and I’m very upset. I’ve been a customer with you for years. My name is [name].”

    (I pull up her file so I can see all her info, including her phone number.)

    Me: “Okay. I am really sorry about that. Can I ask what number you dialed?”

    Caller: *lists her phone number, not ours* “I’ve been calling it, and calling it. It’s on my invoice so it has to be the right phone number! When I kept getting the busy signal, I finally tried the number at the top of the invoice, under your company name!”

    (Apparently, the customer was dialing her own phone number for over an hour and never realized it!)

    A New Dimension Of Stupidity, Part 3

    | NY, USA | Extra Stupid

    Customer: “Where do we get the glasses for [film]?”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. We don’t have it in 3D here.”

    Customer: “What do you mean?”

    Me: “Our theater doesn’t have 3D capability, so it’s just in 2D.”

    Customer: “What’s 2D?”

    Me: “It’s two-dimensional. You know, flat.”

    Customer: “I don’t understand. We don’t get glasses?”

    Me: “No, it’s just a regular film.”

    Customer: “I’m still not getting it.”

    Coworker: *overhearing* “It’s not in 3D.”

    Customer: “Oh! Okay.”

    Related:
    A New Dimension Of Stupidity, Part 2
    Get A Life
    A New Dimension Of Stupidity

    It’s Always Best To Check

    | Central Valley, CA, USA | Extra Stupid

    (I have spoken to this caller about two weeks ago. She calls again and I pull up her account.)

    Caller: “I called a couple of weeks ago and was told to expect a check for $1000.”

    Me: “Yes, that’s correct, I remember authorizing the check myself, let me review the file. I spoke to you on the 9th, and the check went out on the 10th.”

    Caller: “Today is the 22nd, and I haven’t received it yet.”

    Me: “I’m sorry about that, let’s double-check your address. We send the check to [address].”

    Caller: “Yes, that is correct.”

    Me: “Okay, let’s make sure that we have everything spelled correctly.”

    (We double-check that her name and address are spelled correctly.)

    Me: “Ma’am, have you been having any difficulties with receiving your mail? Have you gotten the mail from anybody else?”

    Caller: “I don’t know, I haven’t checked the mail all week!”

    Me: “Then maybe you should check your mail?”

    Caller: “As in right now?”

    Me: “Yes, I can hold while you check.”

    Caller: “Okay, I’ll be right back.”

    (Caller puts the phone down, and she comes back on the line in about a minute.)

    Caller: “I got the check!”

    Inching Away From Intelligence, Part 2

    | Onley, VA, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science

    (I work in the electronics department of a large retail store. I receive a phone call one morning.)

    Me: “Hello? Electronics department, how can I help you?”

    Caller: “Well, I’m on your website looking at your [brand name] TVs. You got two on here I like, a 26 inch and a 32 inch. What’s the difference?”

    Me: “Well, sir. It depends. Are they Plasma, LCD, LED?”

    Customer: *cutting me off* “No, no, no! I don’t care about any of that. I just wanna know which one’s bigger!”

    Related:
    Inching Away From Intelligence

    No Wait To Her Argument

    | Columbus, OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Time

    (I’m running slightly late to meet a patient. I arrive about five minutes after the appointment time to find no one there. I wait around, wondering if she was perhaps caught up in traffic. After half an hour goes by, I call her.)

    Patient: *rudely* “Hello!?”

    Me: “Hello, this is [name] of [clinic name]. We had a 4 pm appointment today, but I didn’t see you.”

    Patient: “Oh, I was waiting forever, and you never showed!”

    Me: “I’m so sorry I missed you. How long were you waiting?”

    Patient: “45 minutes.”

    Me: “Huh? But it’s 4:30 now and there’s no one here.”

    Patient: “Yeah, I know! I left at 4pm!”

    Me: “But, that’s when our appointment was.”

    Patient: “Right! I can’t believe you were so late!”

    Me: “Please correct me if I’m wrong, but [clinic] is by-appointment-only, which means I am not in the office unless there’s a patient. I’ve told you this, haven’t I?”

    Patient: “That’s right.”

    Me: “So you’re upset because I wasn’t here 45 minutes before I was actually supposed to be here?”

    Patient: “Yes!”

    (The weirdest thing is that I had actually treated her before, and she’d shown up fifteen minutes late without calling!)

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