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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    A Penny For Your Loud Thoughts

    | Charlotte, NC, USA | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Money, Theme Of The Month

    (The place where I work offers ‘extended protection’ plans for select items. The plans are typically 10% the cost of the item, meaning if the item is $19.99, the plan costs $1.99. Because of this, I often just round up to the next whole dollar amount when citing the price of the item, then point out it’s a penny less if they opt to purchase it. It’s never been an issue before now. The customer is a middle-aged woman who has been very pleasant, thus far.)

    Me: “It looks as though this item comes with the option of an extended protection plan, beyond that of the manufacturer’s warranty. It only costs $3 and gives you another year in case anything goes wrong.”

    Customer: “Sure!”

    Me: “Okay!” *adds the plan* “Also, it actually only costs $2.99, so you—”

    Customer: *suddenly angry* “What? F*** you! No! I don’t want it! Never mind!”

    Me: “…um, okay? But, so you’re aware, that’s less than what I said it would—”

    Customer: “You! You said it would cost $3! YOU LIED JUST TO GET MY MONEY!” *jabs her finger towards my chest*

    Me: “I promise you, ma’am, that wasn’t—”

    Customer: “Shut the h*** up! I said no! You are trying to charge me more than what you said it would cost!”

    (At this point, the customer standing behind her speaks up. She is a regular, and just celebrated her 87th birthday the week prior.)

    Regular Customer: “Oh, for the love of Pete, you idiot! $2.99 is less than $3, not more! She just saved you a penny! And shame on you, standing here, screaming at her like this! What would your mother think? Now you apologize to this girl, buy the d*** plan, and get out of line! I’m missing my shows because of your shenanigans!”

    (At this point, the other customer shuts up, pays for her items, and slinks off without another word.)

    Me: *awestruck* “Thank you, for that. That was amazing.”

    Regular Customer: *pats my hand and smiles* “It was nothing, dear. Honestly! No respect. That’s what’s wrong with people today!”

    (I told my manager about the incident some hours later. The next time the regular came into the store? There was a $50 gift card waiting for her, as thanks from all of us.)

    Getting Heated About A Lack Of Heated Food

    | PA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I work at a soft serve ice cream shop. The building has a window to serve people outside, as the inside is rather small. A woman literally drives up to the window.)

    Me: “Ma’am, this isn’t a drive through. Can you please park the car and order then?”

    Customer: “Do you have cheeseburgers?”

    Me: *confused* “Ma’am, this is an ice cream store. We don’t sell any hot foods.”

    Customer: “Do you have hot dogs?”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but we have no hot dogs, cheeseburgers, or anything hot. But I’m sure that the restaurant down the road has those?”

    Customer: “Can I have a large order of fries?”

    Me: “Ma’am we don’t have fries.”

    Customer: “Can I have a fish filet with ketchup?”

    Me: “Ma’am, please: we don’t have any fish, fries, chicken, cheeseburgers, hot dogs, pasta, or pizza.”

    Customer: *gives me a creepy stare*

    Me: “Ma’am?”

    (The customer yells incomprehensibly, stomps on the gas, and does a donut in the parking lot before speeding away.)

    You Spin My Head Right Round

    | Appleton, WI, USA | Extra Stupid

    (I work at a cellphone store in the mall, but am standing outside to greet visitors. A random patron approaches me.)

    Patron: “Excuse me, do you know where [cellphone store] is?”

    Me: “Turn around.”

    (The customer turns around, but in a 360 degree circle.)

    Patron: *frustrated* “How did that help?!”

    Me: “Wow.”

    Idiot’s Combo

    | VA, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science

    (I work in a hospital cafeteria as a cashier. We have different combos for our grill for stuff like burger and fries, or sandwich and soup. The examples are merely suggestions, and don’t vary in price depending on your combination. Two middle-aged women come up with their items.)

    Me: “Hi, how are you all doing today?”

    (Customers #1 and #2 don’t say anything.)

    Me: “Okay, I see you have 2 grilled cheese, a soup, fries, and 2 drinks.”

    (I hit the combo button twice to keep them moving.)

    Customer #1: “Hey! What did you do there?”

    Me: “…I put in your orders?”

    Customer #1: “You put two combos, but I don’t have two combos!”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, you have two grill items and two side items.”

    Customer #1: “I know what I have! I don’t have the soup, so it’s not a combo! You’re trying to make me pay more!”

    Me: “Ma’am, it’s actually cheaper if you—”

    Customer #1: “It says right there,” *she reads slowly* “Sandwiches… and… soup… combo. It’s not a combo and you put it in as a combo!”

    Customer #2: “Yeah! I saw you do it right here!”

    Me: “Alright, I’m sorry about that.”

    (I change it, making the total go from about $6 to $8.)

    Customer #1: “That’s better!”

    (We exchange money, and they both leave, when a doctor comes up next.)

    Doctor: “Could you imagine if we made combos for healthcare? They’d go broke from taking care of a cold!”

    Do You Accept Reality Checks

    | MO, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

    (My boyfriend’s sister owns her own jewelry shop. I’m helping her with one of the city’s ladies nights and at the time, and am standing to the side of one of her displays. I am 5’11″ and light-skinned.)

    Customer: “Wow, you have done so well with this shop! Have you had any help tonight?”

    Friend: “Yes, my sister and my brother’s girlfriend.”

    Customer: “I haven’t seen anyone around.”

    (I step next to her and chime in.)

    Me: “Hello, having a—”

    (The woman then grabs me and yells.)

    Customer: “Oh, god! You’re real.”

    (She then proceeds to touch my face while mumbling.)

    Customer: “She can’t be real… no… nooooooo!” *walks away*

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