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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    The Only Foaming Is At Her Mouth

    | Charlotte, NC, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I work at a campus coffee house, which is primarily student-run. At least 80% of our customers are other students or teachers who all know us. Occasionally, we get new customers who don’t understand that we’re not a major chain.)

    Customer: “Can I have a latte with no foam?”

    Me: “Certainly.”

    (I ring the customer up, she gets her latte and leaves. Five minutes later, she comes storming back in, elbowing all the other customers out of her way and shoving the latte in my face.)

    Customer: “DOES THIS LOOK LIKE NO FOAM TO YOU?”

    (I look down, and all that’s on the top of the latte is two or three bubbles from the steamed milk. It’s definitely no foam.)

    Me: “Um… well, honestly ma’am, I don’t see any foam at all, but I’d be happy to remake it for you—”

    Customer: “WHAT IS SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND ABOUT ‘NO FOAM?!’”

    (At this point, my manager comes over.)

    Manager: “Ma’am, there is a line, and my employee needs to get other people their orders. I’ll be happy to remake it, but this is our rush hour and it might take a few minutes.”

    Customer: “YOU REMAKE IT, RIGHT NOW!”

    (While my manager remakes the latte—he’s even moved it forward in the line—the customer grumbles and complains about me to everyone else who is waiting, three of whom happen to be my teachers. I hand one of my teachers their order, and she gives me a huge smile.)

    My Teacher: “Thank you SO much. I know it’s really hard to juggle work with school. And, look at that! My drink looks perfect. I’ll see you in class later. ”

    (My teacher even makes a point of taking a huge sip and exclaiming, “Delicious!” before giving the rude customer a cheeky grin and exiting the store.)

    Customer: “I… well, I…. IT’S NOT HARD TO…”

    Manager: “Ma’am, here’s your drink.”

    Customer: “THERE’S STILL FOAM—”

    Manager: “Ma’am, those are bubbles from pouring the milk into the espresso. That is not foam.”

    (At this point, the other customers start giggling. Without a word, the customer yanks the drink from him and leaves. At least she never came back!)

    Melteasers

    | New Zealand | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    Me: “Hi, how can I help?”

    Customer: “I want a bag of Malteasers.”

    Me: “Sure, just a moment…”

    (I reach under the counter and take a bag of Malteasers from the drawer.)

    Me: “That’s $5.50.”

    Customer: “No, I don’t want those!”

    Me: “Pardon?”

    Customer: “Those ones you keep below the counter are all crushed up together! ”

    (She bangs the bag up and down on the counter. If they weren’t before, they’re probably a bit crushed now.)

    Me: “They felt fine when I took them out, but I can get you another.”

    Customer: “I want those ones!”

    (The customer points to the wall behind me. We hang some expired stock there just to show what we have available.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, that’s just for display. It’s expired stock.”

    Customer: “I don’t care. I want one of those.”

    Me: “Uh, okay.”

    (I reach for a nearby bag on the wall.)

    Customer: “No, not that one! I want one of the ones up there. Right up the top!”

    Me: “Those are under the lights. They’ve probably melted.”

    Customer: “One of those!”

    Me: “Okay…”

    (I scramble onto the counter behind me and take down one of the expired, partially melted bags at the top of the wall.)

    Me: “That’s $5.50.”

    Customer: “THANK YOU!”

    Home Doesn’t Always Work

    | Midlands, UK | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, School, Top

    (I am a year 5 class teacher. I’m dismissing my class of nine and ten year olds at the end of the day when a mother approaches me.)

    Mother: “My son’s not been doing his homework!”

    Me: “I know. He hasn’t handed his homework in for several weeks now.”

    Mother: “Well, I’m not very happy about this!”

    Me: “No, nor am I.”

    Mother: “So, what are you going to do about it?”

    Me: “I can’t make him do his homework. His homework is to be completed at home.”

    Mother: “Why?”

    Education Is Bacon For Granted

    | Virginia, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Pets & Animals

    (We are a college bookstore that sells fetal pigs that biology students must purchase and dissect for their labs. Students usually come in knowing whether they must purchase a male or female pig.)

    Student: “Hi, I need to buy a fetal pig.”

    Me: “No problem. Male or female?”

    Student: “What’s the difference?”

    Time To Sign Up For Delivery By Delorean

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Time, Top

    (I’m answering the main line at a busy newspaper on a Saturday.)

    Me: “[Newspaper], this is [name].”

    Caller: “Yeah, it’s dark out.”

    Me: “…Okay?”

    Caller: “Yeah, it’s… what time is it?”

    Me: “It’s 10:12 p.m., sir.”

    Caller: “Yeah, it’s 10:12 p.m. and I still haven’t gotten my Sunday paper.”

    Me: “Sir, it’s 10:12 p.m. on Saturday. We’re still making the Sunday paper.”

    Caller: “But I haven’t gotten my Sunday paper!”

    Me: “Yes, sir, I understand. That’s because it’s Saturday. Your Sunday paper will be delivered as usual in the morning.”

    Caller: “But it hasn’t arrived yet!”

    Me: “It’s still Saturday night. The Sunday edition will arrive Sunday morning.”

    Caller: “I haven’t gotten… oh, wait. It’s Saturday?”

    Me: “Yes, sir.”

    Caller: “Oh. Well, then… I’ve been working nights. I’m very confused about things now. I just knew it was dark.”

    Me: “Not a problem, sir.”

    Caller: “This never happened.”

    Me: “Deal.”

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