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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Out Of Print, Out Of Mind

    | Cambridge, MA, USA | Extra Stupid, Musical Mayhem

    (It is 1992. I am working cash register.)

    Customer: “Can you guys order a disc if I don’t see it out here?”

    Me: “Sure, I can make you a special order.”

    Customer: “Great, what do I do?”

    (We go through a form with the customer’s name, phone number, the band name and the album name.)

    Customer: “They’re called Split Enz, and the album is See You Around.”

    Me: “Oh, cool, I’ve heard of that band, but not that album. One minute…”

    (I look up the album in our distributor’s catalog.)

    Me: “Hmm, they don’t list that album here.”

    Customer: “So?”

    Me: “So, I can’t place the order without the distributor’s catalog number. Hang on a second.”

    (I phone the distributor and find out that the album is out of print.)

    Me: “They say it’s actually called See Ya Round, but I’m sorry, I can’t order this for you. The album is out of print.”

    Customer: “Of course it is! That’s why I need you to order it for me!”

    Me: “If there aren’t any copies out in the bins, I can’t order you something that’s not being made anymore.”

    Customer: “No, it’s out of print! Order me a new one!”

    Me: “Sorry, it doesn’t actually work that way. If it’s out of print, the record company isn’t making it anymore. They aren’t sending us any more copies. It’s out of print.”

    Customer: “Yes, I know it’s out of print. That’s why I have to order it, duh! Why can’t you get it?”

    Me: “Because it’s out of print?”

    Customer: “I just said that! Order one!”

    Me: “Um, have you tried any of the used record stores in town?”

    Customer: “Jeez! If it’s out of print, why can’t you just order me one?!” *storms out*

    More Of A Dollar Half Full Kind Of Person

    | OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Money

    Me: “Okay, will that be all?”

    Customer #1: “Yes, thanks.”

    Me: “Do you have a [store] card?”

    Customer #1: “Oh, I do!”

    Me: “Alright, your total is $9.43.”

    Customer #1: “Oh look, I even saved money!”

    Customer #2: “How much?”

    Me: “Umm, $0.60.”

    Customer #2: “Ooh, that’s almost half a dollar!”

    This Dollar Is Noncents

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Extra Stupid

    (Every Monday, my video rental store has a special where you can rent any movie for $1.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, can you tell me more about this dollar Monday thing?”

    Me: “Of course. Every Monday, all of the DVDs in store are just $1 to hire!”

    Customer: “What does that mean?”

    Me: “It means you can come in and rent any movie you want, new or old, for just $1!”

    Customer: “So, does that mean weekly movies?”

    Me: *smiling* “It sure does, everything is included!”

    Customer: “Well, what about 5 night hires? Are they included?”

    Me: *still smiling* “Yes, sir. All of the DVDs are included in this special.”

    Customer: “Okay, so what about 3 night hires?”

    Me: “They are. Everything is included in this deal—new releases and weekly movie rentals.”

    Customer: “Okay, good. And what about overnight hires? Are they $1 too?”

    Me: “Yep. As I said before, all movies are $1 to hire.”

    Customer: “Well, that’s stupid! Why does it have to be so confusing? You people need to make it less complicated so normal people can understand!” *storms out*

    Enough To Make Your Mascara Run

    | Portland, OR, USA | Extra Stupid

    (I work at a cosmetics counter at a department store. I notice a customer checking out the mascara display.)

    Me: “Hi, can I help you find a mascara today?”

    Customer: “Yes, I don’t remember what type of mascara I use, but I need two in black and two in brown.”

    Me: “Okay, how about we take a look at the mascara displayed here? Do any of the names or tubes looks familiar?”

    Customer: “No, I don’t know what it looks like. I know what the package looks like. Can I just look at in the box?”

    Me: “Ma’am, all of the packaging is identical.”

    Customer: “I’ll know the package when I see it! I just need it in black and brown!”

    Me: “Alright, let me go check around in the drawer for you.”

    (After several minutes of searching in the drawer to figure out what type of mascara she is looking for, the customer approaches me, holding out two used tubes of mascara.)

    Customer: “I have the mascara that I use in my purse. Would that help you find it easier?”

    How To Make Them As Silent As A Mouse, Part 3

    | Roanoke, VA, USA | Extra Stupid, School, Technology

    (I work at an IT help desk during college, helping both students and faculty. We have a call from a Computer Science professor; he is in the middle of teaching a classroom and wants a new mouse.)

    Me: *entering classroom* “You asked for a new mouse, right?”

    Professor: “It took you long enough! We’ve been waiting to start class for 15 minutes now!”

    Me: “Well, here you go.”

    (I put his mouse on the desk and start to walk out.)

    Professor: “Wait, aren’t you going to install it?”

    Me: “…It’s a USB mouse.”

    Professor: “So? I don’t know how to install these things!”

    Me: “It’s a plug-and-play mouse. Sir, you just—”

    Professor: “Just install the d*** mouse!”

    (At this point, I realize what I’m dealing with. I walk over, plug the mouse into the port labelled “USB” on the front of the tower, and walk out. The class erupts into laughter. The next day, he filed a complaint against the IT department for ‘Defamation and Public Humiliation’.)

    Related:
    How To Make Them As Silent As A Mouse, Part 2
    How To Make Them As Silent As A Mouse

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