Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Crime Can Be A Vicious Cycle
    (1,815 thumbs up)
  • October Theme Of The Month: Coupon Complications!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Name Changer Is A Game Changer

    | Bellevue, NE, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Language & Words

    (I work for a nationwide retail company. We do not price match or accept coupons from other stores. The company name is very similar to another company of the same type, and people often get them confused. I ring up a customer’s items and total the sale before she hands me a page of coupons from a similar company’s ad flyer.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but these coupons are from [other company].”

    Customer: “Well, what is this?”

    (I look down at my apron, which displays my company’s logo.)

    Me: “This is [company name].”

    Customer: *angrily* “Well, it says [other company] out on the sign!”

    (I points to the sign by the street, which is visible from where we are standing.)

    Me: “No, ma’am, I assure you that this is [company name].”

    Customer: *shoves coupons back in her purse* “You guys should change your name!”

    Don’t Feed It Rock, Paper, Scissors Or Spock

    | OR, USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals, Time

    (A customer comes in and explains that her daughter caught a lizard. People frequently come in for advice on their wild-caught animals, so I start explaining what proper care would be. Before this, she expressed general shock at several things, including having to provide heat and light for the lizard she wanted to shut in the dark of her garage.)

    Me: “And so you’ll want to primarily give them crickets and mealworms, occasionally waxworms.”

    Customer: “I see… And are green crickets okay too?”

    Me: “Er, that sounds like a grasshopper. I’m sure it would be fine; I’m not entirely sure how they compare with crickets.”

    Customer: “But if I catch them outside, I can use them?”

    Me: “I wouldn’t recommend it, you’re taking a risk that they could have sprays and toxins on them. Ours are only 10 cents each. I think it—”

    Customer: “So, how do I catch crickets?”

    Me: *pause* “I’m not entirely sure. I don’t know anyone who catches their own crickets from the wild. It would be much easier to just buy them.”

    Customer: “Well, how about if I just feed it dog food?”

    Me: “No. I would definitely not recommend you feed dog food to a lizard. They really should be eating crickets, at least, and mealworms.”

    Customer: “So, how long do they live without food?”

    Me: “Um. I would guess no longer than a week or so.”

    Customer: “So, when should I let it go if I can’t feed it?”

    Me: “If you can’t feed it, I would let it go immediately.”

    Customer: “But I want to try and catch crickets. How long should I wait? Like, when is the lizard’s expiration date?”

    Me: “I wouldn’t go for more than a couple of days without feeding it.”

    Customer: “But when should I let it go?”

    Me: “A couple of days.”

    Customer: “But what date is that?”

    Me: “The 15th.”

    Customer: “So, you’re telling me I can only wait a day, then I have to let it go?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “Okay, thank you!”

    It’s Not Her Calling

    | Raleigh, NC, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

    (I am working when my phone rings. I pick it up on the second ring.)

    Me: “[Call center]. Mary speaking.”

    Caller: “Why did you call me?”

    Me: “…pardon, ma’am?”

    Caller: “WHY. DID. YOU. CALL. ME?”

    Me: “Ma’am, I just answered the phone. You called me. Can I—”

    Caller: “No, I didn’t! I just picked up my phone and you were talking!”

    Me: “My phone rung and I answered it, ma’am. Is there anything that I can help you with?”

    Caller: “No! I don’t know you! Who are you?!”

    Me: “This is Mary from [call center].”

    Caller: “No! No! I don’t know any Mary and I don’t know any [call center]. Why did you call me?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I did not call you. Were you intending to call someone else?”

    Caller: “I didn’t call anyone! You called me! I’m done with you!” *click*

    America: Canada’s Shoes

    | Duluth, MN, USA | Canada, Extra Stupid, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (Because our store is located fairly close to the Canadian border, we sometimes get customers from Canada who come to take advantage of our sales. It is Black Friday.)

    Customer: “Why is it so busy? I’ve never had to wait in line so long!”

    Me: “I apologize for the wait ma’am, but it is Black Friday.”

    Customer: “So? We don’t madness on Fridays in Canada!”

    Me: “It’s Black Friday. It’s the day after our Thanksgiving, where stores have the biggest sales of the year, which means we are really busy.”

    Customer: “Well, I shouldn’t have had to wait in line so long! I’m from Canada! I didn’t know it would be this busy!”

    Me: “With all due respect ma’am, why did you drive three hours to shop today?”

    Customer: “Because it’s the biggest sale of the year!”

    Me: “That’s also why so many Americans are here.”

    Customer: “Still! I’m from Canada! We don’t have Black Friday!”

    Related:
    Canada: America’s Hat

    Cannot Make It Any Clearer

    | Canada | Extra Stupid, Money

    Customer: “My son is doing a project and he needs something that looks like a window. Are laminate pouches see-through without being heated?”

    Me: “Not really. They are kind of frosty.”

    (I take one out to show her.)

    Customer: “Oh, shoot. It’s not clear enough.”

    Me: “Well, I can put it through the laminator for you. It doesn’t have to have anything in it in order to seal it.”

    Customer: “Really?”

    Me: “Yeah, once it goes through it will just look like a thin sheet of plastic and it will be completely see-through.”

    Customer: “Okay, how much would 5 11″x17″ sheets cost?”

    (I tell her the price.)

    Customer: “Wow! That’s really expensive for laminating sheets that don’t even have anything in them!”

    Me: “They are the same price whether you have something in them or not.”

    Customer: “Why?!”

    Me: “Because if you had something in it, you would be supplying it, not us. When you get something laminated, you are just paying for the pouch itself, not the stuff inside it.”

    Customer: “Hmm, I don’t know. I don’t know if I want to pay that much. I mean, I’m not even putting anything in them.”

    Me: “But if you put something in them they won’t look like windows anymore.”

    Customer: “Yeah, but I just don’t understand why it’s so much when you’re not even putting anything in the pouches.”

    Me: “Because you don’t pay for the stuff that goes in the pouches.”

    Customer: “Nope, I’ll think of something else. It’s too expensive for not putting anything in them!”

    Page 147/214First...145146147148149...Last