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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Santa Vs Jason

    , | Campbellton, NB, Canada | Extra Stupid, Holidays, Theme Of The Month, Time

    (Our restaurant is promoting several new products for the holidays, and the lobby and seating area are festively decorated. Two young women walk in with bags of Christmas wrap and the like. My manager and I overhear them having a brief conversation.)

    Customer #1: “So, I guess Christmas falls on a Friday this year.”

    Customer #2: “Oh my God. I really hope it’s not on the 13th!”

    Customer #1: “Really, right? That would suck. Let me check the calendar on my phone to make sure.”

    Customer #2: “Good idea! I’m celebrating the night before if it is!”

    Fails To Register

    | Nanuet, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

    (My store has three registers. I am stocking a shelf when a customer stops in front of the registers.)

    Customer: “Which register?”

    Me: “I can ring you up on the second register, ma’am.”

    Customer: *points to the third register* “That one?”

    Me: “No, the second one.”

    Customer: *points to the first register* “That one?”

    Me: “No, ma’am, the second register. This one here, with the light on.” *points at the second register*

    Customer: *angry* “Why isn’t this more clearly marked!? You should make it clearer which one is the one you’re on!”

    (Despite what I’ve said, she still walks over to the third register and drops her items on the counter. I walk over to the second register and put in my code.)

    Me: “I’ll take you over here, ma’am.”

    Customer: “You should’ve said that before I put my stuff down!”

    Causing Infractions With Customers

    | PA, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Money

    Customer: “Give me about half pound of the all-beef salami.”

    Me: “Sure thing, ma’am.”

    (I slice up the salami. I’m usually pretty good at eyeballing the weight of a product, but when I put the sliced salami on the scale, it’s pretty underweight.)

    Customer: “I think that will be enough. Is that less than a half pound?”

    Me: “Yes, it’s about four-tenths.”

    (The customer gives me a blank look.)

    Me: “Four-tenths of a pound.”

    Customer: “I don’t understand what that means.”

    (The customer looks to her husband for help, but he looks as perplexed as she does and just shrugs.)

    Customer: “Are you sure it’s less than half a pound?”

    Me: “I’m positive, ma’am.”

    Customer: “I don’t know…”

    Me: “A half is five-tenths, right? Four-tenths is less than five-tenths.”

    Customer: “I don’t understand what you’re talking about.”

    Me: “Okay, uh, well… what’s worth less, forty cents or fifty cents?”

    Customer: “There’s no way all that salami only costs fifty cents!”

    (She did eventually buy the four-tenths of a pound of salami at the listed price, though I doubt either she or her husband were convinced it was less than half a pound.)

    Got A Taxi-ing Search Ahead Of Them

    | Las Vegas, NV, USA | Extra Stupid

    (My friend and I are just about to get out of a cab at 4 am when two girls approach the driver.)

    Girl: “I forgot something in the last cab.”

    Driver: “Which cab?”

    Girl: “I don’t know.”

    Driver: “Do you know which cab company?”

    Girl: “No.”

    Driver: “There are lots of companies.”

    Girl: “Some old guy.”

    Driver: “There are lots of old guys…”

    Has A Plain Brain

    | MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, School

    (My younger sister is in high school, and I often pick her up. I overhear a conversation when I am waiting.)

    Student #1: “I’m gonna go get a burger… wanna come?”

    Student #2: “Over at [fast food] place? Nah, they always mess up my order when I go.”

    Student #1: “What do they do?”

    Student #2: “I always order it plain but then they put nothing on it.”

    Student #1: “You dumba***, that’s what plain means!”

    Student #2: “No, it isn’t! Plain means a plain burger! You know, how they’re supposed to make it. No changes.”

    Student #1: “I can’t believe I’m friends with you.”

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