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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    The Lost And Eaten

    , | Kansas City, MO, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (Sometimes, customers call the store when their order is wrong. This one was a little bit more special.)

    Manager: “How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “I didn’t get my food!”

    Manager: “What do you mean?”

    Customer: “When I came through the drive-thru, I got my food. But when I got home it was gone!”

    Manager: “Let me get this straight. You got your food at the window?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Manager: “And it was in your car when you left?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Manager: “And it was gone when you got home?”

    Customer: “It wasn’t there anymore.”

    Manager: “So between here and home, you lost your food? How do you expect us to fix it?”

    Customer: *hangs up*

    Seats Are All ‘Bout Location, Location, Location

    | Hollywood, CA, USA | Extra Stupid

    Me: “Thank you for calling Hollywood Bowl audience services. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “I need help finding my seat on the seating map.”

    Me: “Sure, what seats are they?”

    Customer: “Okay, well, these seats are in section E, row Z, seat 114.”

    Me: “Um, section E isn’t set up that way. The rows go in numbers, and the highest seat in that section is seat 47.”

    Customer: “So, I can just go to the box office and they can figure it out from there?”

    Me: “I guess so, but that row and those seats don’t exist at the Hollywood Bowl.”

    Customer: “Well, these are seats for the Santa Barbara Bowl. Is that the same as the Hollywood Bowl?”

    Me: “No. No, it’s not.”

    Customer: “Oh, so where’s the Santa Barbara Bowl?”

    Me: “I would assume in Santa Barbara.”

    Destination Or Bust

    , | New Zealand | Extra Stupid

    (I work in the call center for a road side assistance company in New Zealand. When members run out of fuel, we can bring it out to them, but they must pay for the fuel.)

    Me: “Welcome to road service, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “I’m out of fuel and I’m in the middle of [remote mountain pass].”

    Me: “That’s fine, we can find you. Do you have money for the fuel?”

    Customer: “Of course not! If I had money, I would have filled-up before I started on my trip, you idiot!”

    More Than You Bargained For, Part 2

    | Wisconsin, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

    Woman: “Can you tell me the price of these pants? I found them on the 25% off rack.”

    Me: “Sure thing. They’re $22.50.”

    Woman: “But that’s not 25% off.”

    Me: “They probably got put on the wrong rack, but they were actually $45.00, so you’re actually getting 50% off.”

    Woman: “But the sign said 25% off.”

    Me: “I understand, but like I said, they were on the wrong rack and are actually more than 25% off.”

    Woman: “I want them for the price that the sign advertised! Can I just talk to a manager? You sales people are so stupid sometimes. It’s not a hard concept.”

    Me: “Oh believe me, I know it’s not a hard concept. Let me call a manager for you.”

    (I call a manager and she comes over. I explain to her what is going on.)

    Manager: “If you get these pants as the price they are ringing up at, they are $22.50. If you get them at 25% off, they are $33.75.”

    Woman: “That’s what I want! Why is math such a hard concept for the workers here to grasp? Just change the price and give them to me for $33.75 or whatever.”

    (I changed the price so they were more expensive. The customer walks away, still mumbling something about how we suck at math.)

    Related:
    More Than You Bargained For

    I’m A Renaissance Woman

    | Princeton, NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

    (The computers at checkout have lately been asking for the full birthdate of everyone purchasing cigarettes. While technically, we card everyone, a lot of our older customers complained at first, so we are allowed to simply request their birthdate rather than ask to see their ID.)

    Customer: “Yes, I’d like [cigarettes], please.”

    Me: “Alright. I’ll need your date of birth, please.”

    Customer: “What? Make something up.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but the computer needs a birth date in order to sell this product.”

    Customer: “Well, you’re not getting it. Make something up!”

    Me: “Um.”

    (I put in January 1st, but leave the year free.)

    Me: “Okay, I put in January 1st, but I’m going to need the year, at least.”

    Customer: “Fine…1600.”

    Me: “Something reasonable, ma’am.”


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