Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Screening Out The Stupids

| Minneapolis, MN, USA | Extra Stupid, Transportation

(Our car wash has an intercom in front so customers that have trouble can reach us inside the store. It’s a beautiful summer day, so the car wash doors are open.)

Customer: *over the intercom* “Hello?”

Me: “Yes, sir? How can I help you?”

Customer: *unintelligible*

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: *unintelligible*

Coworker: “I’ll go out there.”

Me: “Sorry, we’re not hearing you clearly in here. I’ll send someone out.”

Customer: “Hello? HELLO?”

Me: “Sir, someone will be right there.”

Customer: “HELLO?”

(The customer starts banging on the intercom. I see my coworker on the camera, and shut off the intercom. After a minute, the car drives in, and my coworker comes back.)

Coworker: “Well, that guy wins the idiot of the year.”

Me: “What happened?”

Coworker: “He said the screen froze and he couldn’t go further.”

Me: “Okay?”

Coworker: “So I pointed out that the screen said ‘Please enter car wash.'”

Deference To The Difference

, | Plano, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I am working drive thru.)

Customer: “I want orange chicken and fried rice.”

Me: “Okay, no problem. Would you like that as a one side/one entree bowl, or as a one side/two entree plate with double orange chicken?”

Customer: “What’s the difference?”

Me: “The bowl is $6.05 and the plate is $7.13.”

Customer: “No, not the price! What is the difference?”

Me: “Well, one has a single side and a single entree and it comes in a bowl, and the other has a single side and two entrees and it comes on a plate.”

Customer: “But, what’s the difference?”

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 25

, | USA | Extra Stupid, Money

Me: “Thank you for calling the credit card department; my name is [Name]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Yes, I wanted to see when will I receive my new credit card.”

Me: “It will be my pleasure to assist you; can I have your social to see the application?”

(The customer provides her social, and after checking I see there are no credit cards in process of being offered to her. Still, I check the social in our database to see if she already has an account with us and didn’t receive the card. The account is there for a $300 dollar card, all maxed out.)

Me: “Ms. [Name], I do see that you already have an account with us. When did you apply for a second card?”

Customer: “I didn’t apply, but I already used all the money from the first card! I was wondering when you would give me another!”

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 24
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 23
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 22
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 21
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 20
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 19
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 18
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 17
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 16
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 15
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 14
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 13
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 12

H2-D’oh!

| NE, USA | Extra Stupid, Home Improvement

Me: “[Lawn Care], how can I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, you seeded my backyard for me this spring.”

Me: “Yes, is everything okay?”

Caller: “Well, it isn’t coming up very well. Some of it is, but not very much.”

Me: “I see, and how often are you watering?”

Caller: “Excuse me?”

Me: “How often are you watering your lawn?”

Caller: “Oh, I’m not. Should I be? Will that help?”

Stuck In A Vicious Triangle

| Dusseldorf, Germany | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Technology, Theme Of The Month

(I work as IT support for a law firm. Usually I am very understanding when someone asks me a question with an obvious answer, since most lawyers don’t know PCs very well.)

Lawyer: “HELP! My PC is going crazy! Triangles EVERYWHERE!”

Me: “Triangles? What kind of triangles? Do you mean error messages with a warning sign?”

Lawyer: “No, triangles! And a lot of them! I can’t finish my email. Please help me!”

Me: “One moment please, I will connect to your PC to see what’s going on.”

(I start the software and connect to his PC, and see Outlook doing ‘^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^’ without pause.)

Me: “Mr. [Name], is it possible that something is lying on the keyboard?”

Lawyer: *silence*

Me: “Maybe on the upper left corner?”

(At this moment, the ‘triangles’ stop.)

Lawyer: “I guess it wasn’t a good idea to place the book on the keyboard. Please wait a second.”

(He deletes the symbols and tries to write a normal sentence. Without the book pressing a different button, it obviously works.)

Lawyer: “I think I could have figured that out myself. Usually I’m very good with the computer. Thank you. Bye.”

(The lawyer hangs up and my coworker turns to me.)

Coworker: “Hey, Mr. [Name] again? How many times did he call us this week?”

Me: “I had him eight times on the line. I don’t know about the others.”

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