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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    The Dimmest Thing In The Store

    | PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (A customer is standing in front of the sake in a corner of our store. My coworker approaches her.)

    Coworker: “Can I help you with anything?”

    Customer: “Do you think this sake is, you know, safe to drink?”

    Coworker: “I’m sorry, safe to drink? I assume it’s gone through the proper processing procedures.”

    Customer: “I mean… was this sake affected by the tsunami that hit Japan?”

    (My coworker realizes she’s alluding to the power plants that were hit by the tsunami, and the possibility that the sake is radioactive.)

    Coworker: *jokingly* “Well, if you take it home, and it starts to glow in the dark, I’d suggest you don’t drink it.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay!”

    (My coworker walks away. After a couple of minutes, my manager and I glance over to see the lady cupping the bottle in her hands. She is trying to make it dark enough to see if it will glow in the dark!)

    Strawberry Fields Forever

    | MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (I am ordering ice-cream for my family and me.)

    Cashier: “What can I get for you?”

    Me: “I’ll have a scoop of strawberry, please.”

    Cashier: “Sorry, we only have chocolate, vanilla, and butter pecan today.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry! Chocolate, then.”

    Cashier: “Alright, anything else?”

    Dad: “I’ll have a strawberry shake.”

    Cashier: “Sorry, we only have chocolate, vanilla, and butter pecan.”

    Dad: “Oh right, a chocolate shake then.”

    Sister: “I want a strawberry sundae!”

    Cashier: “We only have chocolate, vanilla, and butter pecan.”

    Sister: “Okay, vanilla.”

    Me: “Does that happen a lot?”

    Cashier: “Often enough that I look forward to the days we actually have strawberry.”

    Had The Key All Along

    | PA, USA | Extra Stupid, Transportation

    (I work as a receptionist at my local dealership answering the phones.)

    Caller: “I need to have my car towed to your dealership. Do you have a service for that, or one that you can recommend?”

    Me: “We do, but it’s expensive. Can you tell me more about the problem so we can try and help you before resorting to that?”

    Caller: “Oh, sure! Well, I think my key remote is dead, so I can’t unlock my car. Because I can’t unlock it, I can’t get anywhere! This is my only car, and I rely on it. I need to get it unlocked as soon as possible.”

    Me: “Ma’am, have you tried putting the key into the keyhole on the door?”

    Caller: “What? Cars still have that? I don’t think mine does, but I’ll go check.”

    (About a minute passes…)

    Caller: “Oh, my God! You’re my hero! It totally worked! Thank you so much!”

    Common Sense Has Checked Out

    | MI, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

    (I finish a customer’s order, and they ask for a pen so they can write a check.)

    Me: “Oh, sure. But you don’t need to fill it out.”

    Customer: “Okay.”

    (The customer continues to write the check.)

    Me: “You can just fill out the information you need, but you don’t need to fill out the check. You can leave it blank if you’d like to.”

    Customer: “What’s the date today?”

    Me: “It’s the 30th, but you don’t need to write it down, unless you need to.”

    (The customer completely fills out the check. I run the check, and when the transaction’s complete, I give the customer her receipt and check back.)

    Me: “There you are. Have a great night!”

    Customer: *looking at the check in her hand* “Oh, you didn’t need this?”

    Me: “Nope, it’s run electronically.”

    Customer: “Why didn’t you say anything!?”

    Refund Isn’t In The (Memory) Cards

    | FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology, Top

    (A customer comes in trying to return a camera with no receipt. After I tell her I will not be doing the refund, she demands a manager.)

    Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “Your store ruined my daughter’s graduation! This camera that your employees sold me wouldn’t work! I couldn’t take any pictures!”

    Manager: “I’m sorry, but without a receipt we can’t refund this.”

    Customer: “You are going to refund this! And the memory card too!”

    Me: “Okay, tell you what: why don’t I just try to fix your camera for you? Then we’ll go from there.”

    (The customer scoffs and shoves her camera at me.)

    Customer: “Yeah, sure, go ahead and try. I’m telling you, you sold me a defective camera.”

    (I turn the camera on. It works fine. I try to take a picture; it says it doesn’t have enough memory. I open the battery compartment to inspect the card and immediately see the problem.)

    Me: “This isn’t a memory card.”

    Customer: “Excuse me?! Your employees picked this card and sold it to me!”

    Me: “This is an adapter, which is fine. The memory card needs to be inside of the adapter as well. Do you have something that looks like it would fit in this?”

    Customer: “Oh, that little thing? I threw that away.”

    (She grabs her camera and slinks away.)

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