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  • Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    One Is Too Hot, One Is Too Cold, And The Customer Is Not Right

    | Fort Worth, TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I have just finished preparing some drinks for a guest.)

    Me: “Alright, I’ve got two caramel macchiatos, one hot, one over ice, ready at the bar!”

    (I put both drinks down, one in a hot cup, the other in an iced cup.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, young man.”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Customer: “Are these my drinks?”

    Me: “Those are two caramel macchiatos, sir. One hot, one iced.”

    Customer: “Oh… okay.”

    Me: “Is there a problem with your drinks, sir?”

    Customer: “Err… which one’s the hot one?”

    (I physically pause for a few seconds, to see if he’s joking with me.)

    Me: “The hot one’s the hot one. The one over ice has the ice in the cup.”

    Customer: “Okay, thanks! I never know what fancy coffee drinks you people make nowadays.”

    A Capital Offense

    | AL, USA | Extra Stupid, Language & Words, Math & Science, Technology

    (A customer calls in requesting a password reset for his account.)

    Me: “Okay, sir, I’ll go ahead and reset your password to the default. It will be the last four digits of your social security number, and the four digit year of your birth.”

    Customer: “Okay, those are all capitals, right?”

    Me: “Yes, sir, all the letters in your username are capitalized.”

    Customer: “And what did you say my password will be?”

    Me: “It will be the last four digits of your social security number, and the four digit year of your birth.”

    Customer: “And are those capitalized or lowercase?”

    Me: “Well, it will be the last four digits of your social—”

    Customer: “I know that! But are they going to be capitalized or lower case?”

    Me: *gives up* “They’re going to be capitalized numbers, sir.”

    Customer: “Great! Thanks!”

    You Have To Laugh About The New Scarf

    | Kildare, Ireland | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (A customer has seen a scarf that she likes, and wants to buy two identical pairs. Unfortunately there are only two of the same style in stock.)

    Customer: “But I don’t like this one…”

    Me: “Um… they’re identical.”

    Customer: “No they’re not! I want two like this one!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, miss, they are the exact same pattern and the exact same colour. There is absolutely no difference. Look, I’ll compare them… see?”

    Customer: “Do you think I’m stupid? DO YOU? This one is a darker shade. I want the lighter shade. I AM NOT AN IDIOT!”

    Me: “I’m sorry; maybe it’s the lighting. I’ll just grab another from the stock room, and I’ll be right back.”

    (I hide in the stockroom for a minute with her second scarf, doing nothing. I then come back out with the exact same scarf.)

    Me: “I have found one just like the other one.”

    Customer: “See? I knew they were different! This third one is perfect!”

    (She buys them both.)

    Raining On Her Parade

    | IA, USA | Extra Stupid

    (It is raining outside. When it rains, water comes under the door to the garden section, which is located outside. A customer almost slips.)

    Customer: “OH MY GOD! I COULD HAVE REALLY HURT MYSELF! YOU PEOPLE SHOULD HAVE WET FLOOR SIGNS WHERE IT IS WET!”

    Me: *points to wet floor sign in front of the door*

    Customer: “Oh… sorry.”

    (She scurries out to her car.)

    Needs More Grey Matter

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Extra Stupid, Language & Words

    (The craft store is in a part of town near a university. At the moment, friendship style bracelets made of embroidery floss are popular. A young customer in his first year of college comes in.)

    Me: “Hi there! Can I help you find anything today?”

    Customer: “I’m looking for some string to make those bracelets with.”

    Me: “Sure thing! Most people are using this embroidery floss to make them. It’s only 65 cents a piece!”

    Customer: “Okay, great. I need some grey.”

    Me: “Well, most of the neutrals are in this drawer.”

    Customer: “These don’t have names. I need grey.”

    Me: “I’m sorry; this particular brand doesn’t print color names on the labels. It looks like there are five different greys in this drawer here.”

    (I pull out a grey and hand it to him.)

    Customer: “I can’t buy this. How am I supposed to know what color it is if it doesn’t say? Is this grey? It doesn’t say if it’s grey. I need grey.”

    (He leaves.)

    Me: *speechless*

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