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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    PEBCAK, Episode VI

    | MO, USA | Extra Stupid, School, Technology, Top

    (I am a student worker at a college IT department. Most of our calls come from older professors who often have trouble with their machines. This call comes from a student.)

    Me: “Hello, this is [school] IT department. What can I do for you today?”

    Student: “Hello, yes, I’m trying to give a presentation in [classroom] but the projector won’t connect! It won’t show any image, you have to come right now!”

    Me: “Thank you for calling, I’ll be right over.”

    (I go to the classroom, and indeed, the projector says it can’t find any source. I check all the wiring, double check the projector, all while the class is waiting and the student is ranting.)

    Student: “I can’t believe this! IT never gets anything right! I’m going to send out an email to the whole school about this! Why can’t you get it to work? I have to give this presentation!”

    Me: “Well, I’m sorry, but everything is hooked up correctly, it should be working.”

    Professor: “Well, I guess we’ll just have to push all the presentations back.”

    (I suddenly realized I just assumed that someone my own age would know how to operate a computer, so I fall back on what I would do if this were a professor problem and go to open the cabinet where the computer tower is. I start to laugh as I realize the computer isn’t even turned on! I press the power button, and sure enough, the projector shows the start-up screen.)

    Student: “You got it to work! What did you do? What was wrong with it?”

    Me: “You didn’t turn on the computer.”

    (The rest of the class laughs and the student sheepishly thanks me and logs on to the computer as I leave.)

    Related:
    PEBCAK, Episode V

    Pointedly Pointing Out Appointments

    | CO, USA | Extra Stupid, Time

    (I am a receptionist taking calls for a very busy doctor.)

    Caller: “Hi, I need to schedule an appointment with the doctor.”

    Me: “Okay. Can I have your name, please?”

    Caller: *gives name*

    Me: “Well, it looks like you already have an appointment on the schedule for tomorrow. Do you need me to move it?”

    Caller: “No, I don’t have an appointment.”

    Me: “Are you sure? The computer says you’re marked down for 10:30 tomorrow morning.”

    Caller: “I’m positive. I always write my doctor’s appointments down in my little book. And I don’t have an appointment written down in my book or anywhere else. That means it doesn’t exist. Your computer must be malfunctioning. Just give me an appointment.”

    Me: “Wait… so my computer accidentally scheduled you an appointment?”

    Caller: “Yes. Now, please make me a real appointment.”

    Me: “Well, we have to schedule this type of appointment two months out.”

    Caller: “No, no. I need to get in this week.”

    Me: “Well, in that case, I just had a spot open up tomorrow at 10:30. Will that do?”

    Caller: “Yes! Perfect! Thank you!”

    Has No Idea What’s In Store For Them

    | Washington, DC, USA | Extra Stupid

    Me: “Thank you for calling [store name]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Is this a store?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “A store where you can buy things?”

    Me: “Um… yes?”

    Customer: “I’ll be there in fifteen minutes!” *hangs up*

    The Absence Of The Lambs

    | Dunedin, New Zealand | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    Customer: “Do you have any mutton pies?”

    Me: “No, sorry we don’t.”

    Customer: “I’ll have one of your mutton pies, thanks.”

    Me: “Sorry, we don’t have any mutton pies.”

    Customer: “Are your mutton pies done in the Scotch style?”

    Me: “No… because we don’t have any.”

    Customer: “Can I grab two of the mutton pies, then?”

    Me: “No, because we haven’t got any. I don’t even think we have any lamb pies either, for that matter.”

    Customer: “Well, can I get a lamb pie, then?”

    Me: “I’ll check if we have any, but I don’t think we do. Hey Shaun! We got any lamb?”

    Shaun: “No! Don’t have any!”

    Me: “Steve, we got any—”

    Steve: “NO!”

    Me: “Seems we don’t have any lamb, sorry.”

    Customer: “Are you sure?”

    Shaun and Steve: *at the same time* “YES!”

    Customer: “Oh, well… can I grab a couple of mutton pies, then?”

    Me: “No. Because we don’t have any. And we don’t have any lamb either. No lamb or mutton pies.”

    Customer: “What do you have then?”

    Me: “Well we have mince.”

    Customer: “I’ll take a venison pie, thanks.”

    Me: “Here’s your pie. Have a nice day.”

    (After the customer leaves, the next customer, who has been there through the entire conversation, steps up.)

    Next Customer: “What an idiot, aye?”

    Me: “Well, it takes all sorts. So, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “Can I grab a lamb pie, thanks?”

    Less Is More, More Or Less, Part 4

    | Baltimore, MD, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

    (I work in a large office supplies store that gives customers rewards coupons that act as a certain cash amount that can be spent on anything. We often send out separate coupons that expire on a Saturday, as that is when our sales change. This happens as I am working as a cashier on a closing shift on Saturday.)

    Me: “Hi, did you find everything you were looking for?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I think this is all I need.”

    (He hands me his rewards coupons, along with another coupon for $5 off a $25 purchase.)

    Me: “Oh, it looks like you’re not quite at $25, with only $17 worth of stuff. But your rewards coupons would take you down to around $3, so you’re fine!”

    Customer: “What? But I really wanted to use this $5 coupon. It expires today!”

    Me: “Well, you don’t have to use it, but I guess it’s up to you if you want to spend more money.”

    (The customer picks up all his things with a huff and walks away to look for more things. He returns almost 20 minutes later with many more things; one of the items alone is $40.)

    Me: “So, I guess you found more stuff?”

    Customer: “Yeah, this is how you get us to spend more money, huh? You give us these coupons that expire to force us to buy more at a time!”

    (Even with his coupons the guy spent around $30, ten times more than he would have spent originally!)

    Related:
    Less Is More, More Or Less, Part 3

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