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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    This Problem Can’t Get Licked

    | Chattanooga, TN, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

    (We are doing an adoption event at a retailer in conjunction with four other animal rescue/shelter groups. Each group is in a large tent with dogs that are up for adoption in crates. A lady approaches, she has two kids; a boy about 6 and a girl about 9.)

    Woman: “Oh, she is so cute!” *motioning towards a two-year-old Shepherd mix*

    Me: “Yes, she is a great dog, and she is great with kids. Would you like me to take her out so you can see how she acts around your children?”

    Woman: “Yes, that would be great!”

    (I take the dog out of her crate, and have her on a leash. The kids are both petting her and the dog is behaving very well.)

    Woman: “Oh… that dog doesn’t lick, does she?”

    Me: “Of course she does. All dogs lick.”

    Woman: “Oh, you will have to put her back, then. My daughter is allergic to dog saliva. We need a dog that doesn’t lick.”

    Me: “Ma’am, all dogs lick. They use their tongue to eat, drink water, clean themselves, and show affection. Maybe a dog is not what you should be looking for.”

    Woman: “Oh, that’s bull. I know you have some dogs here that don’t lick. If you don’t, then one of these other groups will.”

    Me: “You are welcome to ask around.”

    (The woman spent the next 30 minutes going to each tent trying to find a dog that doesn’t use it’s tongue. She ended up going inside and adopting a cat.)

    Slightly Accented Hair

    | NY, USA | Canada, Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel

    (I have lilac hair with blue tips. I also wear light grey contacts, and I have slight Irish accent.)

    Customer: “Oh my, such pretty hair you have!”

    Me: “Thank you!”

    Customer: “Is it natural?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “Like, were you born with that hair color? That’s so peculiar!”

    Customer’s friend: “That’s not the only thing peculiar about her! Look at her eyes, they’re so big and grey!”

    Me: “Oh, they’re just contact lenses.”

    Customer’s Friend: “Look, she’s even speaking with a weird accent! You must not be from here! Are you from Canada?”

    Customer and her Friend: *simultaneously* “Ah, Canadians!”

    Not Harnessing The Brain Waves

    | NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel

    (I work at guest services aboard a cruise ship that does 5-day cruises to Canada. We get pretty wacky questions sometimes. A man comes up to the desk.)

    Guest: “Excuse me, I have a question.”

    Me: “Yes, sir?”

    Guest: “Where does the water in the pools come from?”

    Me: “We actually convert seawater into freshwater and put it into the pools.”

    Guest: “Oh, so that’s why the water’s splashing so much!”

    Diet In The Honeymoon Stage

    | MN, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    Customer: “Hi, I would like a small latte, please.”

    Me: “Would you like a flavor shot added to your latte?”

    Customer: “Do you have any sugar-free flavors?”

    Me: “Yes.” *points to the menu* “Our flavor shots are listed here, we have sugar-free vanilla, caramel, hazelnut, raspberry.”

    Customer: “Hmm, no thanks. I really shouldn’t have any sugar added to my drink. Can you just put honey in it?”

    Not Getting The Message

    | ON, Canada | Extra Stupid

    (We are a small store that repairs watches. Upon the completion of a repair job, we call the customer to alert them that there product is ready.)

    Customer: “I am here to pick up my watch.”

    Me: “Okay, sure! Did you receive a call that it was ready?”

    (Asking this allows me a better idea of where to look for the bag, in the completed drawer, in progress drawer, or intake drawer.)

    Customer: “No! I had to call you and ask if it was ready. That is outrageous!”

    (I am confused, because the job has three notes of us calling her, but no one answered.)

    Me: “That’s strange. It says here that we did call you, but there was no answer. Perhaps your answering machine was broken? Or maybe we misread your number?”

    Customer: “No, that is my number, and I don’t have an answering machine! You should have left me a message, at least! You have terrible customer service!”

    Me: “You expected us to leave a message for you even though there was no person nor machine there to hear or record it?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

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