Featured Story:
  • A Caffeinated Christmas Miracle
    (2,741 thumbs up)
  • Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Out Of The Frying Pan…

    | SA, Australia | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Home Improvement

    (A customer is browsing our sale frying pans, which are gift boxed. On top of the pile of boxes is a frying pan that has been taken out so customers don’t keep opening new boxes to look at them.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, are any of these out on display? I don’t want to buy one if I don’t know what it looks like.”

    Me: “Yep, there’s this one right here.”

    Customer: “Oh, I didn’t think it was the same one. It looks different to the one in the picture. The one in the picture has vegetables in it.”

    (I laugh politely, thinking it’s a joke.)

    Customer: “So, are there vegetables in the box?”

    Me: “Um… no. It’s just a frying pan, and a glass lid. If there was food in there, it would go off.”

    (The customer continues browsing, while I am called away to help someone else. As I am passing back by the first customer, I notice he is roughly pulling a new frying pan out of the gift box, tearing it up.)

    Me: “Uh, do you need some help here?”

    Customer: “I just wanted to see what this frying pan looks like before I buy it.”

    Me: “It’s exactly the same as the one on display. We put that out so everyone can see what it looks like. That way, people will stop pulling new stock out of boxes and wrecking them.”

    Customer: “I know, but I want to see what this one looks like. Yes, this should be fine. Oh, but the box is all torn up. Can you give me a discount for that?”

    Breast Not To Correct Them

    | QC, Canada | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I am working the drive-thru.)

    Customer: “I’d like to have three boxes of chicken legs, white.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “What, don’t tell me you’re out already?! These chicken legs can’t be brown, okay? They have to be white!”

    Me: “Ma’am, there’s no such thing as white chicken legs. It’s always brown meat.”

    Customer: “Don’t lie to me, girl! I know what I eat. I. WANT. WHITE CHICKEN LEGS!”

    Me: “Okay, okay, let me see if we have some.”

    (I order up three servings of chicken breast, and meet the customer at the drive-thru window with the food.)

    Customer: “This better be my white chicken legs!”

    Me: “You can check if you want, ma’am. If it’s not to your liking, we can always switch.”

    (The client checks inside the three boxes, and smiles triumphantly.)

    Customer: “I knew you had some! They always tell me they don’t, but the others always lie. I like you. I’ll come back again!”

    You’ll Need A Brake After This

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Technology, Transportation

    (A customer has had one of our cars for three days, when he calls our customer service number.)

    Customer: “The car is stuck in park. No matter what I do, it will not go out of park. I’m trying pretty hard, but I don’t want to break the gear shift.”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear about that; let’s take a look at this and see what we can do. Are you able to start the car at all?”

    Customer: “Yes the car starts just fine, and everything works. It just won’t move.”

    Me: “Are there any indicator lights on?”

    Customer: “All of them come on when you start the car.”

    Me: “Okay, go ahead and put your foot on the break, flush to the floor.”

    Customer: “What? What is that? What do you mean?”

    Me: “The brake pedal. Go ahead and push that down, and then shift into reverse.”

    Customer: “I still don’t know what you mean.”

    Me: “The pedal next to the accelerator. Push that down.”

    Customer: “It worked! Thank you so much; I thought I was going to be stuck here!”

    Couldn’t String It Together

    | TX, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

    (A customer is returning a pyjama set that has a drawstring on the pants.)

    Customer: “I need to return these pyjamas. They’re way too small! They must be the smallest size large ever made!”

    Me: “Not a problem, ma’am; did you have a receipt?”

    Customer: “Yes, somewhere in here.”

    (The customer holds up the pyjama bottoms and stretches the waistband as far as it will go, which is not very far since the drawstring is still tied.)

    Customer: “I mean, really! Does this look like a size large to you?”

    Me: “Well, you can untie the string and it should stretch more.”

    (I untie it. She stares, mouth agape, as she stretches the pants to twice their size.)

    Customer: “Oh, wow! Well, I guess that’s all I needed!”

    The Machine Runs On Punch-Lines Of Code

    | PA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Technology

    (I am working the self-scans, bagging a customer’s groceries. The customer puts two small plastic containers filled with olives on the belt. The self-scan is programmed not only to mention the price of an item, but also to weigh some items, and let people know if their item should be placed on the belt or not.)

    Self-Scan Machine: “Please take your item to the bagging area.”

    (The customer puts both containers on the belt instead of taking it to the bagging area, and watches as the belt doesn’t move.)

    Self-Scan Machine: “Please take your item to the bagging area.”

    (The customer puts her hand on both containers and instead of picking them up and giving them to me, she pushes them down the belt causing the self-scan to freeze.)

    Self-Scan Machine: “Please stand by. Help is on the way.”

    (The customer turns to me.)

    Customer: “Why do you need to help me?”

    Me: “Because you pushed your olives down the belt. You never have to put these on the belt. Just bring them to me so I can bag them.”

    Customer: “Oh! When the machine told me to bring these items straight down, I actually had to do it? I didn’t have to put them on the belt at all?”

    Me: “No, ma’am.”

    Customer: “I thought this machine was just joking with me.”

    Page 137/228First...135136137138139...Last