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  • Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Barking Up The Wrongest Tree

    | San Jose, CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

    (I am a veterinary technician. I overhear an elderly client talking to the vet.)

    Client: “Oh, Dr. [name], can I ask one more question?”

    Vet: “Of course!”

    (The client gestures to a picture on the wall of a Dalmatian, sitting amidst a bunch of white cats with small black spots.)

    Client: “Is that possible?”

    Vet: “If you mean the markings, I’ve never seen a cat with Dalmatian spots. If you mean the dog being able to sit with cats—”

    Client: “No, no. Can the dog be the dad, and the cat the mom?”

    Vet: “Only with the magic of photoshop.”

    Unsure How To Insure

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Money

    Me: “Thank you for calling [company]. My name is [name]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Ummm, yeah. I rented a trailer from you guys, and got the optional insurance. I didn’t have a wreck or anything. Can I get that money back”?

    Me: “No, ma’am. It is insurance, not a deposit.”

    Customer: “But I didn’t use it.”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, you have car insurance, right?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “Does your car insurance company refund your premiums if you don’t have a wreck?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “So, you see, it’s insurance in case there is any damage, but it is not refundable.”

    Customer: “Oh, I see. So I can get a refund, right?”

    Stupidity Goes Up To Eleven

    | Montreal, QC, Canada | Extra Stupid, Musical Mayhem

    Customer: “Hi, I would like two tickets for [show].”

    Me: “Actually, it is [other ticket office] selling the shows in that venue.”

    Customer: “So, do you have their phone number?”

    Me: “Sure thing, it’s ###-###-1111.”

    Customer: “Liar! You’re giving me a fake number because you don’t want me to buy tickets from your competitors!”

    Me: “No, ma’am. I assure you, that really is their phone number. They don’t sell the same shows as we do, so we don’t mind if you do business with them. I give that number out many times a day.”

    Customer: “That’s impossible! My phone’s dial pad stops at 9! So how can a phone number end with 11-11? You’re lying to me!”

    Dead Parrot Sketch

    | Phoenix, AZ, USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

    (I work in a pet store. We offer a variety of animals, including birds.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, could I ask you a question?”

    Me: “Sure.”

    Customer: “Do you have any red birds for sale?”

    Me: “I’m afraid that all of the birds we have right now are green and blue, no red ones. I’m sorry.”

    Customer: “Well, can’t you just make one red for me, then?”

    Me: “No, ma’am, that’s not something we can do.”

    Customer: “And why not, exactly? I think you’re just being lazy, and I have more than half a mind to call your manager!”

    Me: “You could do that, but he can’t make the birds red either, sorry.”

    (The customer storms off in a huff. She comes back later asking if it is safe to dip a bird in paint.)

    No Port For The Harbor

    | Port Charlotte, FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology

    Customer: “I dropped my phone in the water while I was on the boat this weekend, and I want to retrieve my pictures off of it. Can you do that?”

    Me: “Sure we can.”

    (I wait to see phone.)

    Me: “Where is it?”

    Customer: “At the bottom of the harbor; you can still get my pictures, right?”

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