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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    This Is Lazy, But Here’s The Number, So Help Yourself Maybe

    | Maine, USA | Extra Stupid

    (I’m with my parents at a large chain hardware store. I’ve wandered off to the garden section and am minding my own business while looking at some potted plants.)

    Customer: “Excuse me! How much are the potted plants out front?”

    Employee: “I’ll help you out in just one second, okay? I have to unload this pallet right away, but I’ll be right with you.”

    Customer: “You’re useless!” *comes up to me* “Excuse me! how much are the potted plants?”

    Me: *looks around* “…Me? Oh, I don’t work here. I do believe that man told you he’d be right with you, though.”

    Customer: “You work here, I know you do. Don’t lie! You just want to be lazy.”

    Me: “No… I don’t work here. Sorry.”

    Customer: “You just want to be lazy!” *stomps over to the registers* “Excuse me, but your employees are being lazy and won’t tell me how much the potted plants are.”

    Employee #2: “Ma’am, I heard my coworker tell you he’d be right with you, and that girl doesn’t work here.”

    Customer: “Sure, she doesn’t! She just wants to be lazy. HOW MUCH ARE THE D*** PLANTS?!”

    Employee #2: “Well, which ones?”

    Customer: “THE POTTED PLANTS!”

    Employee #2: “Ma’am, we have many potted plants here—”

    Customer: “THE D*** ONES UP FRONT!”

    Employee #2: “Ma’am, there’s a rather large neon yellow sign in front of the rack they’re on. The price is on there.”

    Customer: “Well, why didn’t someone say so?!”

    Really Fond-a Of Rhonda

    | Cleveland, OH, USA | Extra Stupid

    Receptionist: “Hi, this is (company). May I direct your call?”

    Caller: “Yeah, I need to speak to Rhonda.”

    Receptionist: I’m sorry, but we don’t have anyone here by that name.”

    Caller: “RHONDA! RHONDA! I need to talk to Rhonda!”

    Receptionist: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but there is no one here named Rhonda. What department were you trying to reach?”

    Caller: “The newsletter girl! I want to talk to Rhonda!”

    Receptionist: “Oh, Sue is in charge of the newsletters. I can transfer you to her right now.”

    Caller: “Why did she change her name?!”

    Disturbingly Dense, Part 2

    | Michigan, USA | Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging, Top

    (We are a small hotel in an even smaller town. Because of our size, we only have housekeeping until about 1 pm. After that, the front desk can stock towels and things, but we don’t fully clean the room.)

    Guest: “We left at 9:30 this morning to go out for the day. It is now 12:50 and we still don’t have maid service!”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, sir. We can have housekeeping come up immediately and clean that for you.”

    Guest: “Absolutely not! We will be here for an hour. Then you can get in!”

    Me: “Unfortunately, sir, we do not have 24 hour housekeeping service. Housekeeping is not offered after 1 pm.”

    Guest: “But we put out our sign!”

    Me: “The sign on the inside of the door? Your ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign?”

    (Upon saying this, the guest realizes that they are in error.)

    Guest: “Well, yeah… but they should’ve know we weren’t in here!”

    Me: “If there is a ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign up, sir, they are not supposed to disturb you.”

    Guest: “You are incompetent! I demand to speak to a manager!”

    Me: “You’re speaking to her, sir.”

    Guest: *click*

    Related:
    Disturbingly Dense

    To Hole And Back

    | Montana, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

    Customer: “Why do you have that swimsuit?”

    Me: “My coworker found a rip in the seam of this one. I have to fill out a sheet so we can send it back.”

    (The customer grabs the swimsuit from my hands.)

    Customer: “This is my size! Don’t you dare send it back! I need it!”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, this one has a hole in it. I’m sure we have more swimsuits in your size—”

    Customer: “Not this color! You just don’t want me to have it!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but there is a fairly large hole here…”

    (I show her by putting my fingers through the hole. It’s large enough to fit 3 fingers.)

    Customer: “I don’t care about a stupid hole. I’m buying this!”

    (The customer buys the suit despite my explanation. The next day, the she comes back while I am working the return counter.)

    Customer: “I want my money back! This stupid swimsuit you sold me has a giant hole in it!”

    Me: *speechless*

    Dumbing On Empty

    | New Jersey, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

    (I am a cashier at a popular home improvement store, and on this particular day I am working refunds. A customer comes into the store pushing in a new ride-on lawn mower.)

    Me: “Good morning, what can I do for you today?”

    Customer: “Your incompetent associates sold me this tractor, and it doesn’t even work! I demand a refund?”

    Me: “No problem, sir. May I see your receipt?”

    Customer: “I don’t have my receipt, but I bought it yesterday. All I want to do is get another, and I need it NOW!”

    Me: “Well, I need to call an associate from the department to see what is wrong with the tractor. Maybe it can easily be fixed.”

    (I phone a season associate and he comes over to look at the tractor. He proceeds to ask the customer what is wrong with it.)

    Customer: “I spent thousands of dollars on this. You…” *points to seasonal associate* “…sold me this piece of s***! I turned the key and it doesn’t even turn on!”

    Other Associate: “Sir, there’s no gas in it.”

    Customer: “Of course there’s no gas in it! Give me a working one NOW!”

    Other Associate: “It needs gas to run. You know, like a car.”

    (The customer angrily argues that gas will not fix the problem and refuses to listen. My fellow associate takes it outside, puts gas in it and it starts right away. The other associate walks in alone and the customer drives off with his working tractor.)

    Me: “Is it going to be that kind of day?”

    Other Associate: “Yep, I think so. Put gas in it and it’s working just fine. Guy was too embarrassed to come in and apologize!”


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