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  • August Theme Of The Month: Best. Customer. Ever!

    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Didn’t Study The Bear Necessities

    | MT, USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

    (A tourist runs into the ranger station looking really scared.)

    Tourist: “Help! There’s a grizzly bear in the parking lot. A grizzly bear! He chased my kids!”

    (The rest of the rangers and I grab our guns and run out to the parking lot to chase off the bear and make sure no one is hurt. When we get outside, we look around but don’t see the bear.)

    Rangers: *yelling* “Where is it?! Where is the bear?”

    Tourist: *pointing frantically* “It’s right there! Right there between those cars! Shoot it!”

    (We continue to look around but don’t see the bear while the tourist continues to point and scream. Finally, one of the rangers notices a marmot running between two cars.)

    Ranger: *pointing at the marmot* “Wait. Is that what you mean? That little brown animal right there?”

    Tourist: “Yes! That’s it! Shoot it, quick!”

    Ranger: “Sir, that is a marmot, not a grizzly. Marmots are just really big ground squirrels.”

    Tourist: “That’s not a grizzly? But it looked just like the picture I saw in the magazine. Are you sure?”

    Ranger: “Yes, sir. Grizzlies are much much bigger. They are taller than a person when they stand up and they weigh 500 lbs or more.”

    Tourist: *embarrassed* “It didn’t look that big in the picture.”

    Get A Sign Pointing To The Sign

    | London, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (When the ticket office is closed customers can buy tickets at the popcorn counter.)

    Customer: “Where can I buy tickets?”

    Me: “At the popcorn counter.”

    Customer: “Well… you should have a sign saying so!”

    Me: *pointing at a six-foot tall sign* “Do you mean like that one?”

    Customer: “Yes. You should get a sign like that!”

    This Customer Did A One-Eighty

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging

    (I’m new, and I have just finished helping a guest with directions to his room. He disappears into the elevator, and after a few minutes, returns.)

    Guest: “That elevator is BROKEN!”

    Me: “Huh? What do you mean, sir?”

    Guest: “I mean, I went in there, pressed the button for my floor, and the elevator went to my floor but the DOORS didn’t OPEN!”

    Me: “Did you turn around?”

    Guest: “Turn around?!”

    Me: “Yes. The doors open behind you.”

    (The guest stares at me, and then disappears back into the elevator. He doesn’t return.)

    Coworker: “Wow. In the five years I’ve been working here, that is the first time that has happened…”

    Got A Bad Feline About This One

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

    (I do volunteer work at an animal shelter. A lady calls and inquires about a particular cat that she saw on our website. She agrees to come down to the shelter to meet the cat. I bring the cat out as she arrives.)

    Me: “This is [Cat]. She is a bit shy.”

    Lady: “Well, hello there!” *pets cat’s head hard*

    Cat: *backs away*

    Me: “She prefers to be petted on her back, not the head.”

    Lady: “Oh, okay.” *keeps petting cat’s head*

    Cat: *hisses and spits*

    Me: *thinking she misunderstood* “No, no. Like this.” *pets cat’s back*

    Cat: *purrs*

    Lady: “Oh, okay.” *pets cat’s head*

    Cat: *runs away*

    Me: “You know, maybe this isn’t the pet for you…”

    You Can’t Top That

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I work at a frozen yogurt shop that charges customers by weight of what they make. It is not uncommon for customers to realize it is cheaper than expected and go back to add more toppings. I am working the register. The customer puts his cup on the scale in front of the register.)

    Me: “That will be $2.86.”

    Customer: “Really? Can I go back and add more toppings or something?”

    Me: “Sure, that won’t be a problem!”

    (The customer turns to look at the pumps for hot chocolate and caramel, and then comes back to the register. He sees the large bottle of hand sanitizer on the end of the counter.)

    Customer: “Ooh! What’s this?” *pumps into cup*

    Me: “…”

    Customer: “… Well. That wasn’t very smart, was it?”

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