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  • November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Not Even Remotely Close, Part 3

    | Columbus, OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work for a large cable company, and we leave our personal number after an install so customers can call us with questions. I get a call from a customer while on a lunch break.)

    Me: “Hello. This is [Name] with [Company].”

    Customer: “Yes! You installed my cable a few weeks ago, and something is going on! Your box is broken, and it broke my TV!”

    Me: “Okay… So, what exactly is happening?”

    Customer: “I push the power button on the remote, and nothing turns on!”

    (This is a common problem that’s easily fixed by simply pushing a different button on the remote.)

    Me: “Oh! All you have to do is push [cable] button and then hit your power button, and it should turn back on. You might have dropped your remote and un-programmed it. It’s an easy fix!”

    Customer: “I tried that. It’s not working!”

    (I am thinking I’ll have to drive out and help this customer push a different button on the remote, when suddenly, it hits me.)

    Me: “Ma’am… when you hit the buttons on your remote, do they light up at all?”

    Customer: “No! They don’t do anything! I push and push and nothing happens!”

    Me: “Ma’am, your remote just needs new batteries.”

    Customer: “Well, how was I supposed to know that? Don’t you just mail me a new one?”

    Me: “Sorry, no. Enjoy your day, and thanks for choosing [Company].”

    (Later, I found out she called my manager, and he had some poor soul run her out a new remote.)

    Not Even Remotely Close, Part 2
    Not Even Remotely Close

    Refunder Blunder, Part 5

    | Calgary, AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

    (I’m the assistant manager of my store. I’m at work on a quiet day when I get the following call.)

    Caller: “Hello. I’ve got a problem here.”

    Me: “Sorry to hear that. What’s the issue?”

    Caller: “A refund with you guys didn’t show up on my credit statement!”

    (It’s rare, but possible for an employee to make the mistake of charging the card a second time instead of refunding the money, so I check that right away.)

    Me: “Oh, dear… By any chance does the same charge from us come up twice? If so—”

    Caller: “No, no. There’s just no refund listed!”

    (Baffled, I get her to give me the date and number from her receipt so I can look up the transaction.)

    Me: “Oh, so, this is the sale transaction, not the refund. When did you come in to return the items?”

    Caller: “I didn’t.”

    Me: “You… Sorry, what?”

    Caller: “I didn’t return them.”

    Me: “So… you didn’t actually do a return with us, and now you’re wondering why there’s no refund on your credit statement?”

    Caller: “Well, it just sounds silly when you put it like that!”

    Refunder Blunder, Part 4
    Refunder Blunder, Part 3
    Refunder Blunder, Part 2
    Refunder Blunder

    A Driving Thought

    , | Palm Harbor, FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    Me: “Welcome to [Fast Food Chain]; can I take your order?”

    Customer: “I’ll have [order].”

    Me: “Okay, I have a [order]? Can I get you anything else?”

    Customer: “Nope.”

    Me: “Thanks. Your total will be [total].”

    (The customer drives up to the window.)

    Customer: *smugly* “You forgot to tell me to please drive through.*

    Me: “Sir, if I need to tell someone to drive through, then I’m not sure I want to deal with them when they eventually find the window.”

    Has A False Sense Of Security

    | NM, USA | Extra Stupid, Money, Theme Of The Month

    (I work outside of an ATM at night. I drive a company vehicle with the word SECURITY and the company phone number on both sides. One night a woman pulls up to the ATM. She sits in her car for a few minutes, and I can’t see through the tinted windows. Eventually the door flies open, and she runs as fast as she can into the small room where the ATM is. I can’t actually see the ATM or what she’s doing until she comes back to the door, but she comes to the door, leans against it, and watches me intently. I don’t do anything, but I know where this is going. After a few minutes and realizing I don’t want to waste the police’s time, I move the car to a parking spot (passing the bank door so she can see the side of the car), and get out of the car. As soon as I open the car door, she bolts as fast as she can from the bank into her car. Then she rolls down the window an inch, sees me (in a security uniform, with a badge on it) and screams:)


    (I never heard anything more about this incident, so she must not have called, but I can’t understand how she saw the number, but not the SECURITY written right above it.)

    Needs To Pour Oil Over Troubled Water

    | LA, USA | Bigotry, Extra Stupid, Technology, Transportation

    Customer: “I need to know where the motor oil is.”

    (I tell her, but she comes back to the counter with a bottle of transmission fluid.)

    Me: “Ma’am, that’s not oil. It’s transmission fluid.”

    Customer: “What do you know about it? You’re a girl. Just ring me up.”

    (I ring her up. She pays and goes outside, pops the hood of her car, and gets on the phone. Two minutes later, she’s back.)

    Customer: “I needed oil. You sold me the wrong thing. I need to exchange this.”

    Me: “Okay. Do you need some help? It’s slow. I can do this for you.”

    Customer: “What, do you think you know about cars? I’m on the phone with my husband and he knows more about it than you do. Just do the d*** exchange so I can get some oil.”

    (I do the exchange. She comes back up with oil.)

    Me: “Ma’am, that’s 50 weight. You don’t want that, you want 40 weight.”

    Customer: “This is what my husband said to get.”

    Me: “Oookay. Are you sure you wouldn’t like me to help?”

    Customer: “No. You’re a girl and you don’t know what you’re talking about. My husband works for [Company] and he knows way more about it than some clerk!”

    Me: “Well, maybe he does, Ma’am, but he’s not here.”

    Customer: “Just ring me up.”

    Me: “Okay, if you’re sure you don’t need help.”

    Customer: “I don’t need your help.”

    Me: “Yes, Ma’am. You have a nice day, now.”

    Customer: “Whatever.”

    (I watch through the front window as she went back to her SUV and smugly poured her oil… into her radiator. I wonder what her husband said when her engine blew up halfway across the causeway.)