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  • November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Not Exactly Heavy Math

    | Roscoe, IL, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science

    (I just finish helping someone when a young man walks up to me.)

    Customer: “Do you guys sell ice cubes?”

    Me: “Yes. Would you like an 8-pound bag or a 16-pound bag?”

    Customer: “What’s the difference?”

    Me: “The 16-pound bag holds twice as much ice cubes as the 8-pound bag.”

    Customer: “Is that the heavier one?”

    Rage Against The Machine, Part 3

    | USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I have finished ringing up a customer’s purchase when he is paying with a debit card at the card reader. My computer tells me the customer clicked the ‘cancel’ button on the machine.)

    Me: “Sir, please re-slide your card and press the green button for credit.”

    Customer: *to his wife* “They should make these things all work the same way.”

    Customer’s Wife: “Honey, it says right there to press the green button for credit.”

    Customer: “I shouldn’t be expected to read that.”

    Rage Against The Machine, Part 2
    Rage Against The Machine

    Honesty Unplugged

    | Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Extra Stupid, Technology

    Caller: “Hello, my— Oh, s***, wait. Never mind, I forgot to plug it in. I swear I’m getting dumber every year.” *click*

    Me: “… Well, all right, then.”

    (Wrong numbers notwithstanding, that was the shortest call of my career.)

    Pull The Plug On The Appointment

    | WA, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work in a fireplace store. I take a call from a customer.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, the fan on my stove isn’t working.”

    Me: “Oh, no. That’s not good!”

    Customer: “Yeah. So what’s wrong with it?”

    Me: “Well, hard to say over the phone. It could be a number of things. If you’d like I can set up a service appointment and have one of our techs check it out. Please be aware that we are booked out about two weeks.”

    Customer: “Seriously!? What the h***! I’m cold!”

    Me: “Well, you have to option to bring the fan into our shop; it’s cheaper and you can do that pretty much anytime.”

    Customer: “No, I’m not really comfortable working on this thing.”

    Me: “Is your stove working?”

    Customer: “Yeah.”

    Me: “So just your fan isn’t operating? ”

    Customer: “Yeah.”

    Me: “Does it make any noises or grinding sounds?”

    Customer: “It’s not doing anything at all. I just got this fan two years ago, I’ll be very unhappy with you if it’s broken already.”

    Me: “I hate to ask it, but just to make sure, have you checked to make sure that it’s plugged in?”

    (The customer completely goes off on me, calling me all kinds of names. I have permission from my boss to hang up on people who are rude to me without cause but at this point I’m not sure what to do. I let him finish his rant and just change the subject.)

    Me: “Do you want to schedule for [date two weeks from now]?”

    Customer: “I guess. How much is a service call?”

    Me: “$150.”

    Customer: “That’s outrageous!”

    Me: “Sir, we’re the cheapest around here and we’re booked out because when you’re good, you’re busy.”

    Customer: “Fine. I’ll take it but this is ridiculous. You guys are con men, ripping off old people like me.”

    (We hang up and less than an hour later, I get another call from him.)

    Customer: “Hi. Um, not sure if I talked to you earlier, but um this is… and I, um, checked with my wife and it looks like she unplugged the fan to plug in the Christmas tree lights. So, uh, I’d like to cancel my appointment. Um, thank you.” *click*

    Not As Easy As ABC, 123

    | Crystal Lake, IL, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science

    Patient: “I’m picking up some meds. My name is [Name].”

    Me: “I have three prescriptions here for you today. Is that correct?”

    Patient: “I think so. Can you show them to me?”

    Me: “Sure”

    (I pull out three bottles from the bag and show all three to the patient.)

    Patient: “Okay, where’s the third one?”

    Me: “I just showed you all three. What are you talking about?”

    (I hold each one up and count as I go along. I get to three and he still looks confused.)

    Patient: “I thought you said I had three… I don’t see the third one!”

    Me: “I just showed you three bottles! What are you talking about?! Do you know how to count?!”

    Patient: “Oh… okay. I’ll take your word for it but I still don’t think there’s three here”