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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    The Price For Room To Improve

    | Omaha, NE, USA | Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging, Money

    Me: “Good evening, how can I help you?”

    Caller: “What are your rooms at for Thursday night?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we’ve sold out. Would you—”

    Caller: “Okay, but what are the prices?”

    Me: “Well, the prices are based on availability, so I can’t give an exact quote, but I can—”

    Caller: “What do you mean?! Why can’t you just give me the price?!”

    Me: “Well, based on other nights, it would be between $169 and $199, plus the local tax, but we are sold—”

    Caller: “No! You’re not hearing me! What’s the exact amount!?!”

    Me: “That would be $222.88, ma’am.”

    Caller: *in a very condescending tone* “There! That wasn’t so hard, was it!?”

    Me: “Uh…”

    Caller: “So, how many of those do you have left?”

    Doe Is Dear

    | Washington, DC, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Language & Words, Pets & Animals

    (I work at a pet supply store that offers alternative foods for animals with allergies.)

    Customer: “What’s bee-son?”

    Me: “Bison. It’s an alternate protein source, similar to beef.”

    Customer: “But what is it?”

    Me: “It’s also called buffalo. It’ a lot like beef, just leaner.”

    Customer: “But what is it?”

    Me: “They’re kind of like, um, feral cows?”

    Customer: *blank stare*

    Me: “Moo?”

    Customer: “Well, why didn’t you just say that? And veen-ay-son?”

    (She points to a bag labelled “venison.”)

    Me: “That’s deer.”

    Customer: *more blank staring*

    (I put my hands up on either side of my head like antlers.)

    Me: “Bambi?”

    Customer: “All these fancy names for things. It’s just so you can charge more for it, isn’t it?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. That’s exactly how it works.”

    Paying Fool Price, Part 2

    | Adelaide, SA, Australia | Extra Stupid, Money

    (We are in the middle of a massive stock-take sale. The store has two enormous banners at the entrance stating this, along with stands of our sale brochures. Every aisle and wall is hung with SALE posters every 2 metres, and there are red SALE balloons on every fixture. Every shelf or stand has an A3 sign on it stating the percentage of discount on that range, as well as smaller signs showing the price of individual items. Instead of our usual business wear, the staff are all wearing red shirts which have the company logo and SALE written on them, plus name badges. It’s quiet for a moment, so I am filling an empty shelf with stock from a trolley.)

    Customer: “Do you work here?”

    Me: *laughs* “Yeah, I do.”

    (She doesn’t even seem to take in my company shirt and apron, name badge or the fact that I’m doing stock work. She just seems mildly surprised.)

    Customer: “Oh, I wasn’t sure.” *picks up an egg poacher* “Is this on special?”

    Me: “Yes, everything is on special today. We’ve got 40% off cookware at the moment.”

    Customer: “Are you sure it’s on sale?”

    Me: “Yes, I’m quite sure there’s a sale on.”

    (I laugh, but she is just staring at me strangely.)

    Me: “The sign on top of the shelf says 40% off all cookware, and the little sign in front of the poacher says the egg Poacher now [price]. So it’s [price].”

    Customer: “I need to know the exact price. Go and check it for me.”

    Me: “Okay, well, the girls on the register can scan it for you to confirm the price before you purchase.”

    Customer: “No. I want you to check now.”

    (Giving in, I go right down the front, scan it, and not surprisingly, it comes up at the exact same price as I told her.)

    Me: “It came up [price].”

    Customer: “Oh, so it is on sale! I’ll just tell my sister!” *takes out phone* “Cheryl! They have a sale on!”

    (I ran into ‘Cheryl’ later. You’ll never guess what kind of questions she asked me.)

    Related:
    Paying Fool Price

    Moving Not Improving

    | MN, USA | Extra Stupid

    (I am waiting at the DMV to transfer my out-of-state license. Things are moving relatively smoothly until a gentleman of about 65-70 years old is called to the window.)

    Customer: “Hello, I’d like to renew my license.”

    Employee: Alright, sir.” *takes his paperwork* “And are you still living at the address on your current license?”

    Customer: “Yes, but I’m going to be moving within the month.”

    Employee: “Okay. Well, I can see that your license is still valid for a little over a month, so you can just wait to renew it until you move. If we renew it for you today, then in couple weeks when you move, you will have to contact the state to change the address, and then come to us for a new printed license, which will cost you $5.”

    Customer: “But, I just want to renew my license.”

    Employee: “Yes, and we can do that for you, but as I said, you will then have to go through the hassle of contacting the state when you move and paying more money for a new license. If you are moving within the month, your current license will still be valid, so you might want to wait until then.”

    Customer: “No, I just want to do it today.”

    Employee: “Alright then… and you do understand that it will cost you $5 to get a new license when you move?”

    Customer: “Yes, yes.”

    (The employee obliges and they go through the eye test, photo, etc. They are finally finished.)

    Customer: “So, what happens when I move?”

    This Problem Can’t Get Licked

    | Chattanooga, TN, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

    (We are doing an adoption event at a retailer in conjunction with four other animal rescue/shelter groups. Each group is in a large tent with dogs that are up for adoption in crates. A lady approaches, she has two kids; a boy about 6 and a girl about 9.)

    Woman: “Oh, she is so cute!” *motioning towards a two-year-old Shepherd mix*

    Me: “Yes, she is a great dog, and she is great with kids. Would you like me to take her out so you can see how she acts around your children?”

    Woman: “Yes, that would be great!”

    (I take the dog out of her crate, and have her on a leash. The kids are both petting her and the dog is behaving very well.)

    Woman: “Oh… that dog doesn’t lick, does she?”

    Me: “Of course she does. All dogs lick.”

    Woman: “Oh, you will have to put her back, then. My daughter is allergic to dog saliva. We need a dog that doesn’t lick.”

    Me: “Ma’am, all dogs lick. They use their tongue to eat, drink water, clean themselves, and show affection. Maybe a dog is not what you should be looking for.”

    Woman: “Oh, that’s bull. I know you have some dogs here that don’t lick. If you don’t, then one of these other groups will.”

    Me: “You are welcome to ask around.”

    (The woman spent the next 30 minutes going to each tent trying to find a dog that doesn’t use it’s tongue. She ended up going inside and adopting a cat.)


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