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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    A New Dimension Of Stupidity, Part 4

    | CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Movies & TV

    (I am working at the customer service counter. A middle-aged couple walks up, their 3D glasses still in the packaging.)

    Me: “Hi there! Can I help you?”

    Customer #1: “Yes, we’re seeing [popular 3D movie], and the screen is very blurry!”

    Me: “Hmm, that’s strange; usually the 3D glasses merge the images just fine. Let me call my manager, and see if something is wrong.”

    Customer #2: “But it should be clear even without the glasses. We can’t wear them!”

    Me: “Oh, well you have to wear the glasses with this version; otherwise you won’t be able to see the movie clearly, and will get a wicked headache from it.”

    Customer #1: *snottily* “Well, we have a medical condition that doesn’t allow us to see 3D. We’ve watched movies before without the glasses on just fine.”

    Me: “If you’d like, there is a non-3D version playing in about 30 minutes. I can refund you the surcharge for the 3D one, and then you don’t have to wear the glasses to watch it.”

    Customer #2: “If we wanted to go to the non-3D showing, then we would have gone to that one. Just because this showing is in 3D doesn’t mean I should have to watch it in 3D. I want a refund!”

    (My manager by now has heard the whole conversation, and refunds the order for the couple, who then storm out of the theater.)

    Manager: *to me* “If you know you have a medical condition that makes it so you can’t see 3D, then why—”

    Me: “I have no idea.”

    Related:
    A New Dimension Of Stupidity, Part 3
    A New Dimension Of Stupidity, Part 2
    Get A Life
    A New Dimension Of Stupidity

    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 8

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Extra Stupid

    (I’m looking through a display of jeans when a middle-aged customer approaches me. It’s the middle of winter.)

    Customer: “Excuse me?”

    Me: “Um, yes, ma’am?”

    Customer: “You work here, right?”

    Me: “No, I’m sorry; I don’t.”

    Customer: “Oh. Well you’re not wearing a coat!”

    Me: “Yeah, I rented a locker so that I wouldn’t have to carry around a big heavy coat while I shop.”

    Customer: “Well that’s stupid. How am I supposed to know you don’t work here if you’re not wearing a coat?”

    Me: “Uhh, the lack of uniform?”

    Related:
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 7
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 6
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 5

    Must Have Got Their Brains From The Dollar Store

    | CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I am a customer standing in line at a very large fast-food chain. Two scruffy-looking males in their early twenties get in line behind me, and are looking up at the menu. I detect the odor of marijuana coming from their direction.)

    Customer #1: *to his friend* “Why are there no prices on the menu?”

    Customer #2: “Uh… what do you mean?”

    Customer #1: “Dude, under the dollar menu, there are no prices! How stupid! How are we supposed to know how much things are?”

    (I turn around just enough to see the confused expressions on both their faces. A few seconds pass, and his friend finally realizes.)

    Customer #2: “Oh… dude! Those are all one dollar, because they’re on the dollar menu!”

    Customer #1: “Oh… OH!”

    Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 13

    | Elk Grove, CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (A customer comes up to me holding two controllers.)

    Customer: “Hi. I’d like to know what the differences are between these controllers.”

    Me: “Well, this controller is wireless, and this one is wired.”

    Customer: “What does that mean?”

    Me: “It means one of the controllers has a wire, and the other one does not.”

    Customer: “What does that mean?”

    Me: “Uh, one of the controllers has a physical cord that comes out of it.”

    Customer: “But what does that mean?”

    Me: “This controller has a cord to connect to the console. This other controller does not have a cord.”

    Customer: “Ooh, so it’s like it’s wired!”

    Related:
    Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 12
    Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 11

    H2Slow, Part 4

    | Blacksburg, VA, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (A customer walks into store with a phone that’s not working. It’s raining outside.)

    Customer: “Hey man, my phone stopped working. Can you get me a new one?”

    Coworker: “Do you have insurance? The watermarks show that the phone has gotten wet.”

    Customer: “No, I don’t, but I’ve never gotten my phone wet!”

    Coworker: “Well, it clearly did at some point. Were you by any chance using it while it was raining?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I was earlier, but that wouldn’t have done it, would it? Would rain get my phone wet?”

    Coworker: “Is rain made out of water?”

    Customer: “Ohh… right…”

    Related:
    H2Slow, Part 3
    H2Slow, Part 2
    H2Slow

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