Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Freedom Isn’t Free

| OH, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

(I work at a wholesale club and every few months we give out free 90 day trials in lieu of paying for a membership. I have just finished explaining our offer to a customer.)

Me: “So, did you want to try our paid membership or just get the 90 day free trial?”

Customer: “I have a question.”

Me: “Okay. What’s your question?”

Customer: “This is completely free?”

Me: “Yep.”

Customer: “So, you mean to tell me that for 90 days I can come in here, and get anything I want for free?”

(I pause and look at them for a second, and I ask her to repeat her question, which she does.)

Me: “Ma’am, only the membership is free. You still have to pay for the items.”

Customer: “Well, that is just false advertising. You all shouldn’t say something is free if you still have to pay for it.

(She stormed off and I sat there wondering what just happened.)

Towering Ignorance

| NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology, Transportation

(I work in tech support for cell phones. A coworker is having a conversation with a customer whose phone isn’t working.)

Agent: “Okay! Have you tried checking out the settings on your phone? You may have turned those services off.”

Customer: “No, I didn’t. Definitely didn’t do that.”

Agent: “Hmm, I see! Well, you could always give our customer service department a quick call to see if something is up! How’s that sound?”

Customer: “I’m at my cousin’s house and the elevation is very high so I made sure to turn ‘airplane mode’ on. It’s pissing me off that this isn’t working.”

Agent: “Oh! Airplane mode is actually going to disable your phone from using those features. Take that off for me, please, and try again.”

Customer: “Wow! Do you think I’m going to be fooled like that? You’re lying. How do people talk to each other on airplanes? DUH! Sucks when I know more than an employee…”

Agent: “I’m not entirely sure what you mean. Could you elaborate, please? ”

Customer: “Uhm, wow. I can’t believe I’m doing this: Airplane mode is for when you need to call someone while up high in the air to connect to satellites and stuff rather than towers. How do you think pilots and astronauts contact ground control? You’re a complete idiot. Goodbye.”

Up In The Air About It

| New York, NY, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

(I’m filling in as receptionist at a firm where I’ve never worked before.)

Me: *on the phone* “Thank you for calling [Company]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Yes. Someone called me from there.”

Me: “Okay. Do you know the name of the person who called?”

Caller: “Um… I think it was [first name]?”

Me: “Do you have a last name?”

Caller: “No. Why did she call me?”

Me: “I’m not sure, but I’ve found her name, so I’ll transfer you to her.”

Caller: “NO. I want you to tell me. Why did she call me?”

Me: “I’m not sure, but if I could transfer you over, I’m sure she’ll be able to tell you.”

Caller: “But I’m in the airport.”

Me: “Okay. Should she call you back later?”

Caller: “No. Why did she call me? Is it a job offer? I’m not looking for a job. I’m just starting a new job.”

Me: “Well, I’m not sure why she called. But I could transfer you to her—”

Caller: “NO! I’M AT THE AIRPORT WAITING TO GET ON AN AIRPLANE, SO I CAN’T TALK RIGHT NOW. WHAT DOES THIS COMPANY EVEN DO? WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME?”

Me: “Well, I didn’t call you. But if you’ll just let me transfer you over, I’m sure she can explain why she called.”

Caller: “WHY DON’T YOU KNOW WHAT THE COMPANY DOES?! WHY CAN’T YOU TELL ME WHY SHE CALLED?! I’M IN AN AIRPORT! I DON’T HAVE TIME TO TALK! WHY DID SHE CALL ME?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I just don’t know why she called you. But if I could just transfer you.—”

Caller: “I’M IN AN AIRPORT!” *click*

Take Note And Buy A Pen

| Brooklyn, NY, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

(I answer the phone.)

Me: “[Store]. Hello?”

Customer: “Hi.I need the number for [Company] support.”

Me: “Okay, do you have a pen ready?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Okay, here’s the number. [Number].”

Customer: “Could you repeat that?”

Me: “Sure.” *repeats number*

Customer: “D***. One more time, please?”

Me: *repeats number*

Customer: “D*** it!”

Me: “Can you not hear me or something?”

Customer: “I can hear you. I just don’t have a pen and paper. I was trying to memorize the number.”

The Rotten Eggs Aren’t The Only Rotten Eggs

| TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I work at a big chain retail store that also has a grocery section. On this day, my store has a power outage that lasts several hours. There’s a generator that keeps lights, necessary systems, and two registers going, but it’s not strong enough to power the refrigerated/frozen section. We block off those aisles and announce over the PA that we will not be able to sell any cold foods. I see a customer ducking the cordon and opening a refrigerator door.)

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am? Because of the power outage, these aisles are closed. We can’t guarantee the cold food is safe to eat anymore.”

Customer: “Yeah, I heard, but I just need some eggs.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we can’t sell those. There’s a [Grocery Store] across the street if you need.”

Customer: “Why would I go there? I’ve already got these. Hey, what the h***? These eggs are all warm!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, because of the power outage. The refrigerators haven’t been working, so all the cold food has thawed. We can’t sell it.”

(The customer drops the egg carton on the floor.)

Customer: “Then why the h*** are they still on the shelf? What kind of sick store would try to sell bad food to people?”

Me: “…that’s what I’ve been trying to tell you, ma’am. We CAN’T sell it. That’s why these aisles are blocked with the ropes and signs saying ‘Do Not Enter.'”

Customer: “That’s it. I’ve had enough of your stupid policies! I’m taking my business to [grocery store across the street]!”

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