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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    The Time Traveler’s Strife

    | Provo, UT, USA | Extra Stupid

    Me: “Thank you for calling [bookstore]. This is [name], how can I help you?”

    Customer: “I’d like to order 20 copies of [title].”

    (I look it up.)

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, it looks like that book is out of print.”

    Customer: “It can’t be out of print! I have a copy of it right here in my hand!”

    Try Wallmart, Part 2

    | New York, USA | Extra Stupid, Top

    Me: “Thank you for calling Borders. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Yeah, I’m redoing my kitchen right now and I could use some help. I’ve got all the counters and the floors and the cabinets planned, but I can’t decide what to do with the walls. I was thinking some kind of trim would be nice.”

    Me: “Okay.”

    Caller: *silent*

    Me: “Sorry, what are you looking for?”

    Caller: “Just trying to figure out what you offer.”

    Me: “Uh, well, I can do a quick search on home renovation or decorating and see what we have?”

    Caller: “Don’t you have samples or something?”

    Me: “What?”

    Caller: *sighs loudly* “SAMPLES. Can you come over and bring me some samples?”

    Me: “…What?”

    Caller: “Oh, good God. Samples, honey! SAM-PLES. They come in a big binder? Show all your different kinds of wallpaper?”

    Me: “You know you’ve called Borders, yes?”

    Caller: “Of course!”

    Me: “…and you know Borders is a bookstore?”

    Caller: “No. It’s a wallpaper company.”

    Me: “It’s not; it’s a bookstore. We sell books.”

    Caller: “ONLY books?”

    Me: “That’s right.”

    Caller: “Well, then why the h*** did you name it Borders? It sounds like you do wallpaper borders and trims and things!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Do you want me to look up a book on wallpaper for you?”

    Caller: “Can you install it if I find something I like?”

    Me: “No.”

    Caller: “You’re useless!” *hangs up*

    Related:
    Try Wallmart

    Alohomorons

    | Newport, TN, USA | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids

    (I’m working in the library when a patron of about 11 or 12 years of age walks up. We have the following exchange.)

    Young Patron: “Where do you have the Harry Potter books?”

    Me: “They’re right back here…”

    (I show her to the section where we keep them. She stares at them for a while.)

    Young Patron: “Can I have the Prisoner of Azkaban?”

    (I take it out and place it on a table. She opens it up and leafs through it.)

    Young Patron: “Oh my God! There are so many words! Can I have the one with less pages?!”

    Combo Incognito

    , | Texas, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Top

    (At this restaurant, they take your name when you order, and call it out when your food is ready to be picked up. I’m waiting with other customers for orders.)

    Cashier: “Jessica!”

    (No one comes forward.)

    Cashier: “Jessica? Is there a Jessica?”

    (Again, no one comes forward. Three more orders come out, and in between each, the cashier calls for “Jessica” again. Meanwhile, a customer who ordered before me has been standing right at the counter and is getting impatient.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, but these people who just got their orders got here after me. Do you have my order?

    Cashier: “What’s your name?”

    Customer: “Susan.”

    Cashier: “We don’t have any orders for Susan. What did you order?”

    Customer: “I got the #3 combo with a coke.”

    Cashier: “That’s what the order for Jessica has.”

    Customer: “Oh! I gave the name Jessica, but that’s not my name. I don’t like giving my real name.”

    Cashier: “You gave the name Jessica, but didn’t claim the order for Jessica?”

    Customer: “Well, it’s not my name!” *takes her bag and leaves*

    Related:
    Indecisively Incognito

    I Hope You’re Pool-ing My Leg

    | Somerset, England, UK | Extra Stupid

    Me: “Good afternoon, [business name]. How can I help?”

    Caller: “Yes, I’ve been looking at your seven-foot pool tables on your website, and I have a few questions.”

    Me: “Okay, that’s fine. What would you like to know?”

    Caller: “So, seven feet…is that the height?”


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