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  • Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Dumb By Any Metric, Part 2

    , | Nanaimo, BC, Canada | Canada, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    (We sell burgers in 1/4 lb and 1/2 lb size. It is part of our job to clarify which burger the customer is ordering. I overhear my coworker’s exchange at the next till.)

    Customer: “I’d like a burger please.”

    Coworker: “Certainly. Would you like the 1/4 lb or 1/2 lb?”

    Customer: “I’m not sure; whichever is bigger.”

    Coworker: “That would be the 1/2 lb.”

    Customer: “Sorry, I’m from the States, and I don’t understand your Canadian measurements!”

    Dumb By Any Metric

    Waiting For That Light Bulb Moment That Never Comes

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    (I work in a call center making camping reservations for several state parks.)

    Me: “Okay, are you looking for an electric or a non-electric site?”

    Customer: “What’s the difference?”

    Me: “Well, one site has electricity for you to hook an RV or a camper up to, and the non-electric has no hookups.”

    Customer: “I don’t understand.”

    Me: “An electric site has electricity. A non-electric site does not.”

    Customer: “I still don’t understand.”

    Me: “Um… an electric site has an outlet for you to plug things into. A non-electric site does not.”

    Customer: “So… what’s the difference again?”

    Me: *sighs* “Are you camping in a tent or an RV?”

    (I end up being on the call for 40 minutes. The customer continues asking me the difference between an electric site, and a non-electric site.)

    Time Lord Of The Ring

    | Kansas City, MO, USA | Extra Stupid, History, Top

    (We often have contests between stores as to who can sell the most items. This week, it is a specific brand of hat. To promote sales, I am wearing one with Muhammad Ali on it. I am also female.)

    Customer: *scoffs* “Why are you wearing Muhammad Ali?”

    Me: “I like him.”

    Customer: “Oh yeah? What did you think about the fight between him and Cassius Clay?”

    Me: “I was pretty impressed, considering that I wasn’t aware that he could bend space and time to fight himself before be changed his name.”

    Customer: “…whatever.”

    Didn’t Rock Her History Lessons

    | Crowsnest Pass, AB, Canada | Extra Stupid, Geography, History, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    (I am currently serving a couple. We are the first restaurant that tourists heading west come to after passing through the largest rock slide in Canadian history.)

    Man: “That rock slide thing was incredible. Do you know anything about it?”

    Me: “Actually, yes I know quite a bit. The mountain fell one morning in 1903; 82 million tonnes of rock fell on the sleeping mining town below and killed almost 90 people. The town remains buried. There is an interpretive center where you can learn more if you would like.”

    Woman: “That’s okay dear; I do have one question though.”

    Me: “Sure, if I know the answer I would be happy to tell you something about the area.”

    Woman: “How did they make the rocks jump and miss the highway?”

    Me: “Um… well they didn’t. The slide happened in 1903. They put the highway in after, ma’am.”

    Woman: “Well I don’t understand; how did they do that?”

    (Thankfully at this point, I have to go and deal with some other customers. I can still hear her asking her husband as they leave, to explain it one more time.)

    Way Under-Branded

    | Regina, SK, Canada | Extra Stupid, Funny Names

    (My clothing store has just sent out an email announcing ‘Winter Sale Underway!’ )

    Me: “Hello [store], how can I help you?”

    Caller: “Hi, I was wondering if you have any ‘Underway?’”

    Me: “Pardon?”

    Caller: “Do you have any ‘Underway?’”

    Me: “Do you mean underwear?”

    Caller: “No! ‘Underway!’ It’s a brand, and it’s supposed to be on sale!”

    Me: “Sorry, ma’am, I’m not familiar with that brand.”

    Caller: “God! You’re useless! Get me someone who knows what ‘Underway’ is!”

    (I hand the phone off to the manager, who goes through the same conversation.)

    Manager: “Ma’am, ‘Winter Sale Underway’ means that a winter sale is coming. ‘Underway’ isn’t a brand.”

    Customer: *hangs up*

    (We still don’t know if the customer came for the sale.)

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