Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • The Offer Is Sub-Standard
    (1,890 thumbs up)
  • August Theme Of The Month: We Are Closed!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Forming A Theory

    | Helsinki, Finland | Extra Stupid

    (I’m a lawyer in a small firm. We send out documents in an envelope with our address stamped on it, and with prepaid postage fees. The society where I live operates on trust, and the postal service has stopped stamping sent mail. If you are the dishonest type, you can send the same envelope multiple times for free, but you’d have to put a sticker or something on the previous address. I get a call from an irate client.)

    Customer: “What is the matter with you!”

    Me: “What seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “Why do you keep sending me this same form over and over again?! Are you out of your minds?! If I filled it wrong you could attach some advice as how to fill it, and not just the same form again and again! And further, this envelope of yours is in a disgraceful state. I’m at the end of my patience here!”

    Me: “I’m very sorry that this has happened to you. Could I please have your name so I can check what the problem is?”

    Customer: “Well okay, but you should know who I am since you seem to send me mail every single day!”

    (I check the records. Only one letter has been sent to the customer.)

    Me: “I don’t know how this could have happened, since I’m pretty sure we’ve only sent you one letter.”

    Customer: “You are wrong! This same letter keeps coming and coming. You are sending it to me!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I would know if I’m sending you mail every day. And furthermore if we get a legal document from a client that has been filled wrong, we always call and give advice on how to fill it. Could you please go over the document, and I’ll see if there is anything wrong with it.”

    Customer: “Fine!”

    (We go over the form, and all seems to be fine.)

    Me: “Thank you very much for your patience. Everything on the form seems to be correct. I can’t think of any reason why it would get sent back to you. Could you go over the whole procedure of how you are sending it back to us?”

    (She goes over the whole thing in detail…)

    Customer: “…and then I glue the envelope back shut again.”

    Me: “Excuse me, but did you say you use glue to shut the envelope again? What does it say on the envelope you are trying to send us?

    Customer: “It says [her own name and address], of course!”

    Me: “So, you are carefully opening the letter we used to send you the form. Then you reuse it to send the form back to us, instead of the attached envelope meant for return mail? You do realize that the envelope goes to the address that is actually on the envelope?”

    (There is a long silence and sounds of paper rustling.)

    Customer: “You really should write clearer instructions on how to return these d*** forms!” *click*

    License To Bill

    | Wisconsin Dells, WI, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid

    (I work in the arcade at luxurious resort. Resort guests can use their room key to get a game card to play the arcade games.)

    Customer: “Hi, can I get three cards with $50 on each for my family? And here’s my room key; charge it to the room!”

    Me: “Sure, I’ll get that for you right away!”

    (I give them the cards and the family walks away excited, when five minutes later…)

    Customer: “What the h*** is this!? This d*** card isn’t working; I didn’t pay all this money for a card that doesn’t work!”

    (She rants for a few more minutes and then throws the card at my face. I pick it up to show it to her.)

    Me: “Ma’am, this is your driver’s license, not the game card.”

    Customer: *turns really red, takes the card, and walks away sheepishly*

    To Give Credit Where Debit Is Due, Part 3

    | NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid

    (Our card readers are different from a lot of other stores. If you swipe a debit card, it asks for a pin number. To use it as credit, the cashier has to push a button on the register. Pushing ‘cancel’ does not change it to credit; it cancels the card, and the customer has to swipe it again. A customer approaches my register with a nearly-full cart.)

    Me: “Hello! Did you find everything okay?”

    (The customer ignores me, and starts putting items on the counter. I start to scan and bag as usual. However the customer does not remove the bags, and instead continues unloading her cart. Eventually, I have scanned and bagged everything; however all the bags are still sitting on the counter.)

    Me: “Your total is—”

    (The customer tries to swipe their debit card, cannot do so as the bags are blocking the card reader. Rather than place the bags in the empty cart, she shoves them out of the way, sending two bags to the floor and knocking over a third. After sighing loudly, she puts the bags back on the counter, swipes their card and pushes ‘cancel’ when it asks for a pin.)

    Me: “Did you want that as credit?”

    Customer: *annoyed* “Yes!”

    Me: “Could you swipe your card again, please?”

    (The customer grumbles, swipes the card, and immediately pushes cancel again.)

    Me: “Could you swipe your card again and not push ‘cancel’ this time, please?”

    Customer: “Your stupid card reader isn’t working!”

    Me: “Ma’am, pressing ‘cancel’ does not switch it to credit. Swipe your card again and don’t push ‘cancel’.”

    (She swipes her card, and pushes ‘cancel’.)

    Me: “Sorry, it’s not reading your card. Could you swipe it one more time please?”

    (This time, I’m mashing the ‘credit’ button on the register. Fortunately, I manage to get it to switch before the customer hits ‘cancel’ yet again.)

    Customer: *sees that it switched to credit* “Why didn’t pushing ‘cancel’ work before?”

    Me: “I have no idea.” *completes transaction* “Have a nice day.”

    (At this point, the customer finally takes the bags off the counter and puts them in their cart. After they exit, I call my manager over, who witnessed part of the exchange.)

    Me: “Can I go on break?”

    Manager: “Yep. Take a few extra minutes if you need to.”

    Related:
    To Give Credit Where Debit Is Due, Part 2

    Twist And Shout

    | Ireland | Extra Stupid

    (I work for a well known camera brand in their technical and customer support department. A customer calls in with quite an angry tone.)

    Customer: “I have bought a lens for my camera and the lens cap is stuck on it and won’t come off. This is the second lens of this kind I have had. I had to get the first one replaced for the same issue. There is clearly a fault with this lens.”

    Me: “I am very sorry to hear of your issue, sir. Can I ask what lens it is you have and where you bought it from?”

    Customer: “It is a [lens model], and I bought it from [store]‘s online store.”

    Me: “Thank you. Can you please explain in what way you are having difficulty in getting the lens cap off?”

    (I ask this because the lens cap normally just twists off, and it would be very unlikely for it to be stuck on purchasing the lens.)

    Customer: “What a stupid question! I am turning it like on all my other lens. They’re supposed to twist off!”

    Me: “Have you tried turning it the other way sir?”

    Customer: “Oh!”

    (There’s a long pause while the customer fiddles with their camera.)

    Customer: “…Well, it should be clearer.” *click*

    Water Is A Force(Field) Of Nature

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Math & Science

    (I work in a small outdoors store. Most of our customers are total gear-heads and know almost as much about the product as we do. A well-dressed man who looks to be in his sixties walks in, stansd in front of the cash register, and announces loudly that he needs a new coat as “the rain kept getting in” his old one. I proceed to speak to him for about an hour. Despite English appearing to be his first language, he doesn’t seem to understand the term ‘waterproof’.”

    Me: “This is another good option over here, totally waterproof and seam-sealed. It’s from [brand]. I guarantee the rain won’t get in it.”

    Customer: “So, the rain won’t get in this one?”

    Me: “Not at all.”

    Customer: “It won’t get in? Not even a little bit?”

    Me: “No.”

    Customer: “Even through the top?”

    Me: “Well… not if you put the hood up.”

    Customer: *nods curtly and smiles* “I see. So you’re sure the rain won’t go through this one?”

    Me: “No, it’s waterproof. The rain won’t go through.”

    Customer: “So…” *looks as if a light bulb just went off* “Does the rain touch the jacket at all?”

    Coworker: *who has heard the whole exchange* “Sir, it’s a rain jacket, not a force field.”

    Page 119/199First...117118119120121...Last