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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Got A Taxi-ing Search Ahead Of Them

    | Las Vegas, NV, USA | Extra Stupid

    (My friend and I are just about to get out of a cab at 4 am when two girls approach the driver.)

    Girl: “I forgot something in the last cab.”

    Driver: “Which cab?”

    Girl: “I don’t know.”

    Driver: “Do you know which cab company?”

    Girl: “No.”

    Driver: “There are lots of companies.”

    Girl: “Some old guy.”

    Driver: “There are lots of old guys…”

    Has A Plain Brain

    | MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, School

    (My younger sister is in high school, and I often pick her up. I overhear a conversation when I am waiting.)

    Student #1: “I’m gonna go get a burger… wanna come?”

    Student #2: “Over at [fast food] place? Nah, they always mess up my order when I go.”

    Student #1: “What do they do?”

    Student #2: “I always order it plain but then they put nothing on it.”

    Student #1: “You dumba***, that’s what plain means!”

    Student #2: “No, it isn’t! Plain means a plain burger! You know, how they’re supposed to make it. No changes.”

    Student #1: “I can’t believe I’m friends with you.”

    Screaming For Ice Cream For Other Reasons

    | TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Spouses & Partners, Top

    (It is Dickens Faire this weekend, so we have a constant line for ice cream for a good 6 hours straight on Saturday. By Sunday, we only have 4 flavors left; the unavailable ones are covered with lids. A middle-aged couple comes in and looks at the ice cream.

    Me: “Hi! The only ice cream we have left are the open ones.”

    Husband: “Oh, okay. So just the ones that aren’t covered?”

    Me: “Yes, sir. We had a huge rush of people yesterday and sold out of all but those 4 flavors.”

    Husband: “Hmmm… I’d like Buttered Pecan on a cone, please.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. We don’t have any left. We only have the ones that don’t have the lids on them.”

    Husband: “Oh… well, how about Coffee?”

    Me: “Sorry, sir. We sold out of coffee as well. The only four flavors we have left are Strawberry, Caramel, Strawberry Cheesecake, and Vanilla.”

    Husband: “Hmmm… well, I’ll take Mint Chocolate Chip then. In a cone.”

    Me: “We don’t have any of that left.”

    Husband: “Well what do you have left then?!”

    Wife: “She’s told you at least three times already. Only the ones that you can actually see the ice cream in are the ones they have.”

    Husband: “But I wanted Buttered Pecan.”

    Wife: “Well, too bad. Pick something else!” *to me* “I’ll have the Strawberry Cheesecake in a cup please dear.”

    Husband: “I want… Cookies and Cream in a cone.”

    Wife: “That’s it. No ice cream for you!”

    More Clueless Than Keyless, Part 2

    | NY, USA | Extra Stupid

    (I am working by myself at the lower level circulation desk of our library. A patron with two small children comes to check out a pile of books and hands me her key-ring with her library card on it. I scan it, hand it back, and check out her books.)

    Patron: “Where are my keys? [Son], did you take my keys?”

    Son: “No.”

    Patron: *to me* “Did you give me my keys back?”

    Me: “Yes, I did.”

    (She continues looking, can’t find her keys, and begins to yell at me and at her children.)

    Patron: “We are not leaving until I find my keys!”

    Me: “You went to get your daughter a crayon. Might the keys be on the coloring table?”

    Patron: “No! I didn’t go anywhere! They have to be here!”

    (I go to check the coloring table, but I don’t see the keys. I go back and check the circulation desk again, even though I know I gave the keys back to her.)

    Patron: “WHERE ARE MY KEYS?!”

    (At this point, I have to help some other patrons.)

    Patron: *to other patrons* “I’m sure that girl didn’t give my keys back.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I don’t have them. They aren’t at the desk.”

    Patron: “WHERE ARE THEY?”

    Me: “I don’t know.”

    Patron: “This is ridiculous! This always happens down here! It’s a d*** good thing I didn’t lock the house. How would I get in without my keys!?” *to her children* “WE’RE LEAVING!”

    (She drags her children upstairs to the main circulation desk. While there, she tells them that I’ve taken her keys and won’t give them back. However, while complaining, she finds her keys in her bag. Not surprisingly, she did not come back to apologize.)

    Related:
    More Clueless Than Keyless

    Airheaded Dimwits

    | San Diego, CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (I overhear a couple of customers shopping for Christmas lights.)

    Customer #1: “Ooh, these are LEDs, so that means no electricity!”

    Customer #2: “And that means no cords, right?”

    Customer #1: “Well, I’m sure there are SOME cords…”

    Customer #2: “Obviously something has to hold them together, but I mean no cords to stretch across the driveway and lawn!”

    Customer #1: “Oh! Right!”


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