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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Self-Discarding Prophecy

    | Switzerland | Extra Stupid, Health & Body

    (I am a secretary at an eye clinic. A patient comes up to me to get a new appointment.)

    Me: “So, this is your card with the date and time of the consultation.”

    Patient: “Do I get a letter with this information?”

    Me: “We just give out the cards. We have about 140 patients everyday. So, we can’t mail everyone a letter for their next appointment… sorry.”

    Patient: “But then, how do I remember it?”

    Me: “Well, you have your card now.”

    Patient: “That’s not possible, because I’m going to throw this card away!”

    Me: “Just please hang on to the card, and you’ll be fine.”

    Patient: “Great. How am I supposed to remember the appointment when I’m throwing this away?”

    Me: “Please just hang on to the card.”

    Patient: “You’re no help at all. In case I forget my next appointment, it’s your fault!”

    Somehow, The Great Indoors Doesn’t Have The Same Ring To It

    | Newfoundland, Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (I work in a small checkpoint building at a campground. It acts as sort of a front desk for the campground. The building being very small, it gets very hot in the summer and has windows on all four sides of it. Three sides for ventilation, with one wicket for serving customers.)

    Customer: *pulls up in an RV* “Yeah, I want a campsite for the night.” *holds out cash*

    Me: “Sure, we have lots of availability. Can you come around to the front window here? This one is only for fresh air, and I can’t remove the fly screen.”

    Customer: “You mean come OUT? Like OUTDOORS?” *gets panicky* “Like, where there are bugs, and dirt, and pollen?!”

    Me: “Yeah, I can’t serve anyone through that window. I need you to get out and come around to this one.”

    Customer: “Oh, no, I can’t do that! I think I’ll find somewhere else to camp for the night, with less outdoors!” *drives off*

    How To Count On Feeling Like A 8008

    | Prescott, AZ, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I am working in the electronics section of a store. A customer approaches me to get a calculator for doing taxes. I ensure she has a decently priced calculator, two rolls of paper and extra batteries since she doesn’t have a power adapter. She leaves happily. A few hours later, she returns.)

    Customer: *holds the calculator like a hurt puppy* “Something is wrong with the calculator.”

    Me: “Oh, I am sorry to hear that. What seems to be wrong?”

    Customer: “The display doesn’t seem to be working. I wanted to see about a refund, if possible.”

    Me: “Sure, let me take a look at it.”

    (I begin to take a look over the calculator, checking things like ensuring the batteries are inserted properly, that there’s no visible damage to the casing, and that the calculator had been switched to the “on” position. My eyes wander to the display, and then I look back at her.)

    Me: “I can see why the display isn’t working.”

    Customer: “Oh, good! Could you fix it?”

    (I remove the demo sticker that goes over the display, and hold out the now-working calculator to the customer.)

    Customer: “Um…thank you…” *leaves, embarassed*

    Well, That Narrows It Down, Part 3

    | Phoenix, AZ, USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body

    (While checking in on a patient…)

    Me: “Do you know the name of your primary care doctor?”

    Patient: “Oh, I don’t remember that.”

    Me: “Do you remember anything about them? The name of the practice, or what street it’s on?”

    Patient: “It’s either a man or a woman.”

    Me: “I see…”

    Related:
    Well, That Narrows It Down, Part 2
    Well, That Narrows It Down

    Fee For The Taking

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

    Caller: “I would like free shipping for this product.”

    Me: “We’re sorry, but we don’t have any free shipping deals today.”

    Caller: “I want free shipping.”

    Me: “There is no free shipping, so I really can’t give you free shipping.”

    Caller: “I don’t want the product, then.”

    (I decide to try another approach.)

    Me: “How about I add $6.99 to your order and then give you free shipping? Would that be okay?”

    Caller: “That would be great! Thank you so much! Thanks for the great customer service!”

    Me: “Okay, sir. You go have a good day.”

    Caller: “Thank you! Thanks for the free shipping!”


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