• Understood The Concept Swimmingly
    (1,532 thumbs up)
  • November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Has No Meat Between Their Ears

    | Milwaukee, WI, USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Pets & Animals, Top

    (I wear a leather duster, leather hat, and leather boots. I am working a booth for my employer and am approached by a customer.)

    Customer: “Leather is murder.”

    Me: “Well, the animal died for its meat. Might as well use its skin.”

    Customer: “Meat is murder.”

    Me: “Okay, so is eating anything else.”

    Customer: “I am a vegan. Nothing I eat or wear is alive.”

    Me: “Plants are alive.”

    Customer: “But they do not feel and are not really alive.”

    (I spot her leather boots.)

    Me: “What about your boots?”

    Customer: “They are made from vegan-friendly leather.”

    (I look again at the obvious cowhide name-brand boots.)

    Me: “They look like cowhide to me.”

    Customer: “But they are VEGAN friendly. The salesperson told me. I think they come from a leather tree. You know like a rubber tree.”

    Me: “There are no leather trees. They came from a cow.”

    (The customer is getting really mad and shouting at me.)

    Customer: “This isn’t about me wearing vegan leather! This is about you wearing non-vegan leather!”

    Me: “I am sorry, but there is no such thing as vegan leather.”

    Customer: “The salesperson told me it was vegan friendly. I bought them from [Major Boot Chain] and they wouldn’t lie.”

    Me: “Sorry, but the only place you get leather is the skin of an animal.”

    Customer: “Well, then cows must shed their skin like a snake and they used that. But this IS vegan leather.”

    Me: “If a cow sheds its skin it dies. That is how you get the meat out.”

    Customer: “LEATHER IS MURDER!”

    (The customer walks off pointing at me and yelling ‘murderer!’)

    Me: “Next?”

    Following Customer: “Did that just happen?”

    Me: “I would love to know what happened at the leather store that sold her the boots.”

    Disturbingly Dense, Part 3

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging

    Customer: “I’d like to make a complaint. I’ve been here for two nights already, and not once has my room been cleaned! What kind of hotel is this?”

    Me: “I’m sorry for the trouble, ma’am.” *checks with housekeeping* “Ma’am, the housekeeper says that there was a ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign on your doorknob.”

    Customer: “What? I thought that meant don’t disturb me, not no housekeeping!”

    (I calmly explain it, while she screams for a refund from for not making things clearer. She didn’t get it.)

    Disturbingly Dense, Part 2
    Disturbingly Dense

    A Simple Solution Is Just The Ticket

    | Red Bluff, CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    Customer: *calling my office phone* “My scanner hasn’t worked for two weeks! Why haven’t you fixed it yet?”

    (I glance at my computer, checking my tickets. Nothing in this person’s name.)

    Me: “Have you called a ticket in? What is the ticket number?”

    Customer: “I don’t have time for that!”

    Me: “Well, luckily, I have a gap between appointments and can come over to look at it now.”

    (I head over.)

    Customer: “See? Nothing.”

    Me: “How long has it been unplugged?”

    A Premature Point Of View

    | Courtenay, BC, Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging

    (I work the front desk of a smaller hotel, where all of our rooms face the ocean; meaning the front entrance of the units are motel style in the back, edging onto a wooded area with the sliding glass doors all facing the waters edge. A guest we had just checked about 10 minutes ago comes back to the desk FURIOUS. I overhear the exchange between him and my coworker…)

    Guest: “I was told my room had an OCEAN VIEW! You people are NOT advertising correctly. This is false advertising!”

    Coworker: “Sir, I assure you you ARE in one of our beachfront units. In fact, it really doesn’t get much more ‘beachfront!'”

    Guest: “Yeah, well, I can assure YOU that my room is NOT facing the water! I am not paying this much money to stare at some trees!”

    (At this point we’re all dumbfounded as to why this guest claims his room doesn’t have a view, as it’s physically impossible for it not to. At this point, my coworker clues in.)

    Coworker: “… Sir, did you actually ENTER the room yet?”

    Guest: “No, but the building is surrounded by trees. There’s no ocean or beach in sight!”

    (As soon as the guest actually WENT INTO the room, to his surprise, he found a gorgeous ocean view and had no further complaints!)

    Hard To Drink In This Much Stupid

    | Seattle, WA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I am the customer in this story. I’m in a coffee shop and there is a man in front me who has just rattled out a majorly complex iced coffee order with a myriad of flavor sauces, even going so far as to request a layer of whipped cream in the middle of the drink.)

    Cashier: “All right, that’ll be [price]. Your order might take a moment.”

    Customer: “That’s fine.”

    (I order my own coffee, which is just a mocha latte, without whipped cream. The barista finishes my drink first, as it’s much simpler. It’s in a paper cup, as it’s hot, whereas his is being seen prepared in a clear plastic cup, as it’s iced.)

    Barista: “Mocha latte for [My Name]!”

    (The customer with the long order swoops in before I can grab my drink, swiping it off the counter and taking a sip immediately.)

    Customer: “This is perfect! Thank you so much!”

    (He then runs out the door before either of us can speak.)

    Me: “Did he just..?”

    Barista: “… I’ll make you another drink.”